Part 29: Possessive to Vulnerable
After an hour of driving, Arnav finally stopped in front of her house. It was a different story that he had already driven past her house...twice! Khushi made no comment on that detail. She knew driving helped him calm down. Yet, he sat there, still angry, as he glared through the windshield at nothing in particular.
Khushi squeezed his hand lightly. "You'll melt a gaping hole in that windshield if you glare at it like that." She smiled light heartedly.
"It's not funny." Arnav said, still looking straight ahead.
"Never said it was." Khushi replied seriously. "I didn't stop you from breaking one's jaw and the other's nose, did I?"
Arnav scoffed. "You were about to do the honours yourself. Admit it."
"I won't deny it...if you hadn't, I would have definitely hit them...All I'm saying is that it's done and over with now. Let it go." Khushi said in a quiet voice.
Arnav scowled. Khushi sighed, and let go of his hand. He opened the door of the car and stepped out. He'd just slammed his door shut when he heard her shut her door too. Smiling to herself, she slowly walked towards the house, waiting for him to fall in step with her. She heard his footsteps move rapidly and she turned around to face him.
"Khushi let me just go back and..." He swallowed the rest of his sentence because she had cupped his face in her hands.
"Shh...Breathe, Arnav." She whispered huskily. "It's not like they're waiting for you to return so you can beat them to death."
She was looking right in his face, a small smile playing hide and seek on her lips. Her hands moved around his neck and she went on her tip toes in order to hug him properly, her chin resting on his shoulder. She felt the possessive grip of his arms wrap around her waist and his breath brushing on her shoulder.
"Arnav...you can't hold on to every single emotion for ever...you need to learn to let go...especially this anger of yours. Just breathe, okay?" Khushi whispered to him as they stood there embracing each other, one looking to provide calm while the other holding on with the possessiveness of one about to lose the most precious thing from his life.
"I know you feel very protective of me and I can't ask you to change that...but I want to ask you to control this anger of yours. Although sometimes necessary...no man can think straight with anger overpowering them..." she gently rubbed his back between the shoulder blades-something she knew calmed him down.
"I'll keep that in mind." He pulled out from the hug reluctantly and nodded at her.
They both walked to her door in silence and stopped as the moment he disliked the most stared at him in his face: The moment to say goodbye.
Khushi put the key in the keyhole and opened the door.
"Come in." It was more of an order than a request and it had taken Arnav by surprise. He followed her in regardless.
Amber and Aditya ran up to them and warmly welcomed them back home. Aman, who was babysitting the kids, also waved lazily at them from the couch. Arnav nodded his greeting to him and smiled at the kids. Khushi stalked off into the kitchen and a couple minutes later, she called out for Arnav. Aman looked at his boss with raised eyebrows while Arnav just walked into the kitchen like a student in trouble with his teacher. Khushi had her back to him and she rummaged through a container.
"Take a seat" She vaguely pointed to the dining table.
Arnav had just taken a seat when Khushi sat next to him, putting down a bottle of Dettol, a cotton puff, and a band aid. Arnav made a face at the rusty brown liquid as he watched Khushi mix it with some water. After dipping a cotton puff in the diluted antiseptic, Khushi reached for his hand and examined the cut. His wedding band had cut into his skin, leaving a small drip of blood down the back of his hand. Arnav was surprised that he hadn't even noticed it. It must have happened when he had punched the rascals. The reminder sent his anger up in a flare but the fact that Khushi was holding his hand kept his mind cool.
Khushi tugged on the wedding band to remove it carefully when he clenched his hand into a fist. Khushi raised her eyebrows at him.
"Stop being filmy. You can wear it on your left hand." She frowned at him.
"I'm being filmy? Says the woman who is still wearing her wedding band and engagement ring." Arnav looked right into her eyes, making her stomach clench. "Please don't remove it." He requested earnestly, unaware of the fact that he'd set a hundred butterflies lose in her stomach.
Khushi averted her gaze and focused on his wedding band again. "Please...at least just let me put a band aid on it..."
He didn't protest this time when she pulled the ring loose. She kept his wish in mind and didn't remove the band completely, so now it rested halfway on his ring finger. He looked at her as she picked up the Dettol soaked cotton and pressed it against the cut. She winced at the moment it was supposed to sting but Arnav didn't even notice it. She removed the cotton and blew softly to dry the area before applying ointment. The brush of her breath against his hand had more of an effect on him than the stinging antiseptic. She could feel his gaze on her face but she didn't look at him as she applied some ointment.
She put the band-aid on and then finally turned to look at him. There was so much love and affection in his gaze that it made her stomach clench and unclench nervously.
"It's done." She nodded towards his finger and he blinked, breaking out of his stare session.
Khushi slid the wedding band back in it place, with a little difficulty since the band-aid made it tighter. He smiled to himself as he realized that she'd just put on his wedding band on his ring finger. It seemed that Khushi had realized too, because when he glanced at her, her expression was amused, her lips forming a small o'. And then the red on her cheeks blossomed, leaving Arnav with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Being the husband, he didn't have any other symbols of his marriage like she did. She had the mangalsutra, although it was a different story that she no longer wore it. She no longer had a thin streak of red vermillion gracing the parting in her hair. She did have the wedding band and engagement ring. They always remained on her ring finger much like his wedding band always remained on his. She had put the wedding band on him, how could he possibly remove it? It was the only thing that he owned, apart from memories, which symbolized their marriage.
"Thank you." He said. His voice was suddenly hoarse.
They looked at each other for a few seconds and then Amber broke the session. She gasped cutely as she kneeled on the chair next to Arnav's, observing the items on the table and then Arnav's bandaged finger.
"How did you get hurt?"
"I fought with bad guys." Arnav grinned, making Khushi roll her eyes.
"Mamma put the band aid on?" Amber pointed at his ring finger.
"Yes. I didn't know I was hurt."
Amber looked at Khushi. "Did you give him your healing kiss, mamma?"
Arnav couldn't help but smirk. He remembered the last time this happened. Khushi, indeed, had given him a healing kiss when she thought he was sleeping. But he wasn't about to admit that now. Khushi looked between the father and daughter and shook her head.
"How come you don't give him a healing kiss? Adi and I get one. Even last time you didn't!" Amber sighed dramatically. "I guess I'll have to give it to him again."
More than glad, Arnav held up his hand and Amber gently kissed his ring finger. Aditya ran in, touched Arnav's arm and yelled "tag, you're it!"
And with that both Amber and Aditya had run out, squealing and giggling. Arnav glanced at Khushi once, and he smirked when he found the familiar hue of red on her cheeks. Then he set off after his kinds, joining them in a game of tag.
Khushi sat there for a few minutes, thinking back on the night. Their encounter with the street teasers, Arnav's anger, their hug outside her house, their moments in the kitchen, her involuntary reactions to his comments and touches. She started cleaning the table and the kitchen, with the thoughts still lingering in her mind.
She was just finishing up when Amber and Aditya ran in followed by Arnav. Arnav paused in the doorway, looking horrified while Khushi knelt in front of her kids.
"Mamma...can buddy please sleepover?" The twins chimed simultaneously, as if they'd practiced this bit.
Khushi smiled at them. "If buddy wants to sleepover, he can."
To say Arnav was surprised would be an understatement. As the kids cheered and ran out of the kitchen, Khushi found Arnav looking at her with his jaw dropped slightly.
Please don't ask me why. Please don't ask me why. Please don't ask me why.
Khushi's mind chanted the sentence over and over but to her relief, he didn't ask her anything. Apparently, he was too shocked to speak. She decided to break the weird silence.
"The guest room is free now that Anjali's gone to Kripa's." Khushi turned to put away a couple of bowls. "It's up to you...you can sleep there or in Amber and Aditya's room."
Khushi turned to face him again only to find that he hadn't even moved an inch! She raised her eyebrows at him questioningly.
"Unless of course...you don't want to stay..."
"NO!" Was the immediate reply. "I mean...I...no. Umm...I...You...Are you sure?"
Khushi crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly. "Are you trying to make me change my mind?"
"N-No...?" Arnav made it sound more like a question to which Khushi just laughed lightly.
In a few minutes, Arnav found himself in the washroom with Amber and Aditya, brushing his teeth. He had stared at the toothbrush in the holder that he'd left the last time he was here. And just like last time, Arnav was amused by the feeling of normalcy. Teeth brushing was followed by quick showers for Amber and Aditya. Soon after that, the kids had retired to bed, dragging Arnav along for their bedtime story. Khushi decided to leave the three alone and sat in the living room with a book herself.
An hour later, she went to check why Arnav hadn't returned yet and she almost laughed seeing him asleep on the bed, between Amber and Aditya, the copy of little red riding hood' resting on his chest. As per her usual routine, she walked to Amber's side of the bed, turned off the purple night lamp and kissed her forehead, running her hand through her daughter's soft hair. She then walked to Aditya's side and repeated the same. She couldn't help but smile as she looked at Arnav. Shaking her head at his child-like expression, she slowly slipped the book out of his hands. As if it had a mind of its own, her free hand reached towards his head and her fingertips gently caressed his forehead as she tried to sweep his hair off.
The sudden fire-like feeling at his hair line woke him up and he opened his eyes in time to see Khushi turning away from the bed and walking towards the door. He smiled as he watched her go. He heard the doorbell just as Khushi shut the door behind her. Knowing it would be Aman, he started getting out of bed.
Outside, Khushi opened the door and found Aman beaming at her. She let him in and closed the door behind her.
"Where do I keep ASR's stuff?" Aman asked.
"In that room." Khushi pointed and led him towards the room. Khushi went to the cupboard to take out the blanket while Aman started setting out Arnav's sleep wear. Khushi saw Aman place a small bottle under Arnav's shirt. The rattling sound caused by the movement made it sound like a bottle of pills.
Choosing against her better judgement, she took it out from under the shirt and looked at it curiously.
"Aman...why do you have Ativan for him?" Khushi inquired.
(Ativan is an anti-anxiety medication...letting you know so it makes sense.) As far as Khushi knew, Arnav had no conditions that needed medications. Once in a while, he took painkillers for headaches and migraines but why he needed anti-anxiety pills was beyond her.
"It helps him with the nightmares." Aman said, absent mindedly, rummaging in the bag for something. He froze when he realized what he'd blurted. He looked at her with an expression of a deer caught in headlights.
"What nightmares?" Khushi's eyes scrutinized his reaction. The news had increased Khushi's curiosity and worry. Arnav had nightmares? What the! Since when?
"Answer my question Aman." Khushi stated with all the authority of Mrs. Khushi Singh Raizada.
"Uhh...you see...Well..." Aman started but was rudely interrupted.
"Aman." That was all Arnav said, standing in the doorway of the guest room. That one word and the tone in which it was said coupled with the expression on Arnav's face made it clear that Aman was not to say a single word more on the topic. In fact, Khushi had the impression that Aman had already said too much. Arnav did not look happy. At all.
Arnav walked in, gently took the bottle out of Khushi's hand and tossed it back into the bag, glaring at Aman. Aman looked at his toes.
"I have all your things here...I...I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Aman left quickly, fidgeting slightly under Arnav's unnerving glare.
Khushi knew she could ask him about it directly. With the equation they had right now, a little emotional blackmail would be more than enough to make him talk. But she knew better. She wasn't about to take advantage of his vulnerable state. She could sense that he was worried that she would question him. It was written all over his stance and averted gaze. This was always how things had been between them. When it came to some questions Khushi wanted to ask that would require him to open up his locked up heart and speak of feelings and emotions, she never asked. Instead, she waited until he was ready to come to her and speak. She never really forced him into speaking his heart out and she wasn't about to start now.
"Um...I've set out the blanket...I'll just make some coffee." Khushi smiled at him even though he wasn't looking at her.
She started walking away but stopped when he spoke. "Actually...I think I'll just sleep..."
Khushi wanted to sigh and roll her eyes but didn't. She just looked at him and nodded when she noticed his pleading expression. She gingerly placed her hand on his upper arm in an encouraging gesture. He gave her a forced smile that didn't reach his eyes and Khushi knew then, that Arnav had hidden behind the mask of ASR once again.
That night, two people slept deeply in that house while the other two tossed and turned most of the night. Amber and Aditya slept absolutely oblivious to their parents' restless state. Khushi couldn't put her curiosity to rest and her mind came up with various methods by which she could get either Arnav or Aman to fess up about these nightmares.
Arnav couldn't sleep because of the nightmares themselves. They haunted him tonight, more vivid than ever. Maybe it was their slowly increasing emotional bonding, maybe it was the ever so slowly increasing physical intimacy, maybe it was the fact that those two scoundrels had looked at her with such lustful eyes, maybe it was the fact that she was sleeping in the room across from his...whatever it was, the nightmares tonight were more vivid, more painful, and more torturous.
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Khushi chewed on her bottom lip and twisted her fingers together, standing in front of the guest room's door. She'd been standing there for the past fifteen minutes, deciding whether or not it would be right to go in. It was eight in the morning. What if he was awake? What excuse would she make? Why was she here anyway?
Because you want to know what nightmares are bothering him to the extent where he needs anti-anxiety prescription drugs!
With a deep breath to clam her tingly nerves, she turned the door knob, opened the door and stepped in. He was lying flat on his back, the blanket haphazardly half covering him. His face was turned away from her hence she missed the pained expression on his face. Glad that he seemed to be sleeping peacefully, she turned to leave when she heard him mumbling something incoherently.
Her brows knit together in curiosity and she too cautious steps towards him. She froze for a second when his head turned towards her but she relaxed when she saw that he was still sleeping. His expression took her by surprise. He looked like he was in physical agony. His mumbles became easier to hear.
"N...No...Don't. S...S...Stay...don't...go...c-come back..."
She gingerly took a seat on the little gap beside his shoulders and that was when she noticed the tears on his face. Perplexed by the situation, she just started at him, confused out of her mind. He seemed to be muttering the same few words over and over: No. Don't. Don't go. Come back. Please. Sorry. Stay.
Khushi sat there, her breathing quicker, her heartbeat more erratic, as she saw fresh tears roll onto his cheeks as he tossed and turned restlessly. And then, as she was still trying to string together his mumbles, he said a very distinct word that he hadn't uttered since she'd walked in. Her name.
Her eyes widened with the realization that whatever this night mare was, somehow it was connected to her. She knew what this was about. She knew it was obvious and staring her in the face, mocking her inability to recognize it...yet, she couldn't place a finger on it for the life of her. It was almost as if her mind was refused to acknowledge the connection.
And then, unexpectedly, Arnav sat up with a jerk, yelling out an agonized "Khushi!"
He sat in the middle of the bed, while she sat closer to the headboard. She saw him cover his face with his hands and tilt his head back. His breathing resembled that of an athlete after a marathon. She could hear his attempts at gaining control over his lungs again. Apparently, he hadn't realized that she was sitting right behind him.
She placed a shivering hand on his shoulder, making him jump and turn around. Before she had time to process anything else, she'd found herself gathered in his arms, his face pressed into the groove of her shoulders.
And then the sobs started. Maybe he realized that he was now awake and no longer dreaming or maybe he thought it was still a nightmare but whatever it was, he hugged her and cried.
He cried like he had the day she left five years ago. When he had confessed that he loved her. When he had begged her to stay. When she had asked him not to look for her. When she asked him to free her of the pain that living with him brought.
And like a slap in the face, Khushi's mind gave up the fight, and she realized exactly what the nightmares were about.
***Scroll to Next Post for the SURPRISE!!!!***
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Arjun
Cricket
37