PART 14
Raj's residence:
Raj was looking blankly at the mirror before him, lost in a multitude of thoughts. He was dressed in an off white sherwani with gold brocade all over the kurta. He was ready for his wedding alright, but what should be the most anticipated moment in his life, turned into his worst nightmare.
Things would have been so different had he just listened to his heart when it was screaming that he was taking the wrong decisions. He did not pay any heed, as he was blinded by his senseless infatuation for a lady who was clearly in love with her husband. He knew deep down that what he was doing was incorrect and had he just taken a moment to think rationally, he would not be sitting and wondering what if?'
He felt guilty a hundred times over when he saw how crushed Divya was the previous night. Never in his life did he think he would hurt HIS Divya this badly. What was wrong with him? God blessed him with a second chance at love, by bringing her back in his life and what did he do? Not only did he mess it up bad, but he shattered Divya's spirit in the process. Will she believe in love again? Will she believe that he loves her and ONLY her? He wondered.
I don't think I can forgive you or love you after what you did tonight, Raj', her words reverberated in his mind. He lost the adoration, love and respect she held for him in her heart and that was the consequence he had to face for his terrible actions.
There is no US raj, and there never will be' these words hurt him the most and he couldn't blame her at all. She was devastated when she spoke them and he knew that she meant every word of it. Oh how he wished things were different!
After her emotional outburst, he wanted to go after her and break off the wedding. He did not want to put her through any more trauma than what she had already faced because of him. He did not want to tie her down into this wedding, even if she was ready to do it for his family's sake.
He made his way to her room, his hand poised to knock on her door, when he heard gut wrenching sobs. It was difficult at first to hear as she was trying hard to suppress them. But he heard them and could not stop the tears spilling from his eyes. How he wished he could hold her at that moment and sooth her invisible wounds. But weren't those the wounds he inflicted on her? His inner self reminded him.
He clenched his fingers into a fist and brought his hand down. He reluctantly went back to his room all the while thinking what he should do next. If he cancelled the wedding now, he would look even more heartless to Divya which he could not risk happening. She might think that he cares two bits about her and his family. If he did not cancel it then he would forever carry this guilt of tying her down to this marriage when she had no love left for him. He was in such a difficult position now and he had to carefully analyze all pros and cons before taking a decision; the situation being so delicate.
He pondered on what was his main goal at that moment. The answer came immediately...to restore Divya's self confidence, to bring back the smile on her face, to make her stronger once again and most of all to bring back her belief in love and life, even if she did not love him anymore! He would strive hard to do all this, not because he wanted to repent for his deeds, but because he loved her with all his heart and he wanted to see her zeal and enthusiasm for life blossom again.
And to do all this, he needed to be close to her; if he broke the wedding, she would leave his house and go far away, nursing her internal wounds all by herself and believing that there was something lacking in her love that lead to their relationship falling apart; automatically leading to her not opening up to anyone else. And he would not let that happen, he determined.
He promised himself that he would marry her and bring back the old Divya; and once his mission is accomplished, he would release her from the sacred ties of their marriage, for her to find true love with someone who deserved her, he resolved.
He was brought out of his thoughts by the loud knock on his door. He opened to see his sisters asking him to get ready soon as the ceremony had already started and people were waiting for him. He asked them for a couple of minutes and sent them away.
He was about to enter into a sacred knot with the love of his life; he would make this commitment out of the love he has for his Divya; unfortunately he was not lucky enough and did not have the right to anticipate the same from her, all because of his moronic actions.
'Yes, I am the one at fault here and I am going to pay for my deeds by having beside me, a lady who once loved me, but not anymore.' He thought, smiling bitterly and proceeded to leave the room.
To be continued...
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Hope you liked the chapter
Edited by wupa - 11 years ago
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