SwaRon OS : Never Letting Go..[Current Track and Redemption]

Oh, God. Not again..
"Uhm.. 'morning."
"Toh...how are you? Raat ko neend achhi aayi?😛"
"..mm.."
"Mm matlab? Nahin aayi? Ofcourse..kaise aayegi.."
"Kya matlab?"
"Kuchh nahin.. Yeh lo..tumhare liye.. Garma garam chai.."
"Mujhe chai nahin pasand."
"Haww! Jhoote!"
"What do you want Sharon?", he asked, irritated.
"Tum. Milega?"
That had him for a moment. But he came back to his senses soon enough.
"Just go away Sharon. And stop all these antics ok?.."
"Main tumhari kya lagti hoon, jo tum mujhe aise order de rahe ho!"

Kya lagti ho?.. Sab kuchh, Sharon..everything. Par in sabka ab koi faayda nahin hai.. We lost what we had.. I lost you..

"Hey guys!.. Uhm..guys?"
Aashi saw Swayam and Sharon looking intently at each other, as if trying to convey something silently. But why did they look so..pained?.. Especially Sharon..with her lips trying to fake a naughty smile, but her eyes looking almost..tortured?
"Uhm Sharon..aap theek types toh hain?"
"Huh? Oh hi Aashi.. Kya baat hai?"
"Voh actually..main aap donon ko bulaane aayi thi.. Cultural team ki meeting types hai.. Ramleela ke liye?.."
"Oh..actually.. Hum thode busy.."
"Achha? Let's go then, Aashi.."
"Uh, Sharon.. Aap nahin aa rahi?.."
"Haan.. Tum jaao.. Uhm..I'll just come..", she said trying to hide a tear that was threatening to run down.

He saw the pain in the eyes of his love. He saw how much he was hurtng her. He yearned to cross this distance between them, and hold her in his arms and comfort her..

But no, this is what is right..for both of us..
"Chalo na Aashi.."

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"Hey Guys.. What say we make Ram do a rap? Hey that rhymes! "Ram-Rap"! Give me the beat guys!"
"Nil shut up yaar! Get serious.. Guys let's focus.. We just have two more weeks.."
"Rey is right guys.."
"Arre dekho Swayam bhi aa gaya! Dude kahaan tha tu..itna late! Aur Sharon kahaan hai?"
Swayam looked up at his bestfriend.. His pained expression was enough for Rey to understand something was wrong.. He looked back at Simmi, who had comprehended the situation too..
"O..k.. Let's start guys.. Apne apne ideas ek paper pe likho..and we'll discuss them together.."

Swayam was about to open his bag to get a book. Tabhi..
"Yeh lo.. Pen and paper donon ready hai!"
Sharon...why don't you give this up...
"Mere paas apna hai.."
"Par ab maine de diya hai toh ismein likh lo na.."
"Arre yaar mujhe nahin chahiye! Samajh nahin aata tumhe!"

She still tried to keep up her smile..
"Achha ok..toh tum bolo.. Kya karna hai humein.. Kitne log honge play mein? Or are we doing a dance?.. Bolo na Swayam.. Main kuchh help karoon tumhaari.."

His patience was giving way to his anger.. What the hell was she trying to prove!
"Stop it Sharon.. Hum baad mein baat karte hain."
"Nahin Swayam bolo na.. Hum ek theme dance karein toh..", she tried to sound positive, crestfallen-though she was..
"DAMN IT SHARON STOP IT!!"
"Swayam.."
"Kitni baar bola just stay away damn it..samajh kyun nahin aata tumhe??"
His sudden anger took her by shock.. But no, she wasn't giving up this time..
"How can I stay away Swayam.. Mujhse nahin hota.. Not from you..",she said, even as a lump formed in her throat.
"What the hell do u want Sharon! Jitna hurt mujhe kiya hai voh kaafi nahin tha kya! Yeh.. Yeh kya kar rahi ho tum?.. Mere liye already itna mushkil hai yeh sab toh tum yeh sab karke mujhe aur mushkil mein KYUN dalna chahti ho!"

"Yeh kya bakwaas kar raha hai yaar Swayam Sharon se.. Swayam stop it!"
"Nil plz..tum beech mein mat pado.."
"Yaar par Rey how can he be so.."
"Nil..shut up nd let them talk.. Main bol rahi hoon na.."
"Simmi?"
"Bas chup.."

Swayam turned away from her, knowing that he had hurt her. He knew he had hurt her, for he was feeling the pain thousand folds.

"Swayam plz...ek baar galti ho gayi... But aise tum mujhe.."
"Ek baar?? Ek baar, Sharon? Really! Inn do saalon mein yeh bas ek baar hua hai?? Baar baar yahi hota raha aur baar baar main sochta raha ki nahin...koi baat nahin... Isse mere feelings change nahin hote... Par har baat ki ek limit hoti hai Sharon.. U had crossed it."
"And I am trying to mend it Swayam! Tum use andekha kyun kar rahe ho!"
"Kya andekha kar raha hoon main?? Jab kuchh hai hi nahin, toh what are u trying to mend? Bcoz na kabhi kuchh tha, na hai, na hoga.."

"Yeh kya baat kar rahe hain?!"

"Tumhare yeh sab drame karne se kya hota hai Sharon.. Tum yeh sab karogi..phir sab theek hoga..aur phir se wahi problems.. Phir se I become a puppet. Phir se I become the desperate loser. It's just not meant to be Sharon, toh yeh sab kyun kar rahi ho tum?.."

She bit her lips and closed her eyes to stop herself from breaking down. But she couldn't control the rage that was building up within her, try as she may.

"Not meant to be?? Really?? 5 saal se tum mujhse pyaar karte ho! 5 years, Swayam Shekhawat! Tab tumne socha tha ki it's not meant to be? Jab har baar mera saath dete the..har problem mein mera sahaara bante the..meri har aansoo ponchte the... Tab tumne socha tha ki it's not meant to be? Jab bina bole hi meri har baat samajhte the..mere har move ki khabar rakhte the..mere Guardian Angel bante phirte the.. Tab bhi tum ne yeh hi socha tha? Ki it's not meant to be?..."

He hadn't expected that.

"Sharon.."
"Ek minute Swayam..mujhe bolne do.."

"Uhm... Bhailog...yeh donon abhi bhi Ramleela ke baare mein hi baat kar rahe hain na?"
"Chup yaar!!"

"Subah se shaam tak main try kar rahi hoon tumhe manaane ki.. Apni galti sudharne ki.. Sote jaagte bas tumhare baare mein sochti hoon.. Sab theek karne ki koshish kar rahi hoon.. Nahin Swayam..desperate tum nahin..desperate main hoon! Tumhare liye.. Damn it, tumhe dikhta nahin hai kya! I'm sorry Swayam..tum jitni achhi nahin hoon main.. Tumhari jitni shaant nahin reh sakti..toh please aaj mujhe bolne do tum.. Maanti hoon..main achhi nahin hoon.. I'm selfish..rash.. But the fact still remains...

I love you Swayam!.."

Everyone in the gang had their breath held and mouth wide open. Noone had the nerve to turn around and ask anyone else what the hell was going on.

She felt tears running down her cheeks. But she didn't care now.

"Mujhse..mujhse nahin hota Swayam..nahin hota tumhare bina.. Tum ne kaha tha na that I am selfish? Haan hoon main selfish! I AM selfish. About you! Nahin dekh sakti tumhe kisi aur ke saath! Aur nahin jee sakti tumhare bina! But it's not because tum mere possession ho ya.. Tumhare attention ke bina achha nahin lagta.. It's because TUMHARE bina achha nahin lagta!
Jab meri apprehensions se wajah se hum ek saath nahin ho paaye.. Ya jab hum ek trial relationship mein the.. Phir jab meri beemari ke waajah se maine tumhe door kar diya.. Aur ab yeh.. Har baar Swayam! Har baar galti meri hi hoti thi.. Main hi hoti thi hum donon ko hurt karne waali.. TUMHE hurt karne waali..Every damn time!
And..I Am Sorry Swayam!.."

She no longer had the strength to remain standing... Her legs gave way as she sank into her knees in front of him...her tears still flowing down...her hair all in a mess... Yes, this was THE Sharon Raiprakash..vulnerable, weak, and pathetically in love. She was breaking down..all her inner walls came crashing down as she let herself out after two and a half years of hiding it all...

"Main..main bata nahin sakti how much I regret it all.. How I regret..and how much I hate myself for every time that I hurt you.. Aur..agar yeh sab hone par tum mujhpe gussa karte..cheekhte chillate..toh shaayad meri guilt THODI toh kam hoti.. Par tum aisa nahin karte..yeh sochkar, ki aisa karne se mujhe tum hurt kar doge.. Tum shaant rehkar, har baar mujhe forgive kar dete ho..aur saara blame apne oopar le lete ho.. And you know what Swayam?? That hurts me more! Because that proves what I always knew-ki main tumhe deserve hi nahin karti..."

She couldn't control her tears..yet she couldn't afford to hold herself back anymore..

"Kitne achhe ho tum Swayam.. Aur main.. Tum ne bola tha na har baar meri whims pe hamaari relationship tootthi aur banti hai? Aur tumne ise selfishness ka naam diya tha na? No Swayam.. It's not because I am selfish.. It's because I know..main kitni hi badi stupidity karoon..how much ever I screw up..you'll always love me.. Aur isliye main hamesha samajhti thi ki bina soche samjhe kuch gadbad kar bhi doon..tab bhi tum mujhe waapis accept karoge.. Because you are more mature than I am Swayam..
Par is baar shaayad..I've lost you forever.. But know this Swayam.. I love you.. I have always loved you. And I always will.."

She could say no more.. She felt her whole entire world crashing down around her... Heck, she couldn't even breathe.. But none of that mattered any more... The reason she breathed was no more a part of her... She had lost him...

She felt two strong arms lifting her head and cupping her face... Her hair was combed away and her tears were wiped... She looked up and saw him...worried and concerned...and.. Guilty?? Did he feel guilty for this too?? Damn it Swayam..why are you so good! Even when you hate me you are worried for me... She couldn't look at that angelic face and hence tried to push him away.. But he had her arms tightly held in his..he wasn't letting go.

"Tum buri nahin ho Sharon.. Tum bahaut BAHAUT achhi ho.. Aur mujhse zyaada yeh koi nahin jaanta.. And yes, Sharon. I love you. I can never stop loving you... Tum KUCHH bhi kar lo, you can never stop me from loving you... Bas mujhe laga ki..tum mujhe chaahti hi nahin.. Dar gaya tha ki main apne aap ko tum par force kar raha hoon.."

"Force?? You don't have to force me Swayam! I am all yours! Poora poora right hai tumhara mere oopar.. You are mine, and I am yours you get that?? Aur yeh koi change nahin kar sakta. Hum bhi nahin! You idiot!", she managed to say, in between her crying and hitting him hard on his chest!
"Toh phir..uss din tumne mujhe kyun reject kiya Sharon.."
"Reject?? How can I ever reject you Swayam.. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me.. You are the one person I've loved beyond everything.. Tumhe kaise reject kar sakti hoon main!..."
"Toh matlab.."
"I love you Swayam.. Is se zyaada main kuchh nahin jaanti.. I miss you, I need you, I love you..."

A tear rolled down his eye too.. He couldn't control the sheer ecstasy at having got his life back.. HIS Sharon back...

"So Swayam..can you forgive me this one more time.. Please Swayam..",she said, as she composed herself a bit.

He hid a smile that crept up as he saw her innocent face looking up at his, with so much hope, and fear for his answer.

"Nahin."
"Kya??? Swayam I.."

She couldn't complete what she had meant to say..as he had crushed her in his arms already... He was holding her after ages..and all the pain of being separated for this long started melting as she hugged him back with all her might.. Tears in their eyes and love in their hearts that beat for each other..they held each other...like they were never going to let go of each other.. Maybe they never were...

"I love you, Swayam.."
"I love you, Sharon.."
They laughed and smiled through their tears..holding each other's faces with the joy that had begun to feel alien to them.
Tabhi..

"Ahem! EXCUSE ME! Ko bataayega yeh HO KYA RAHA HAI?!"

"Oh no.. Guys..voh actually...",they fumbled through their words, thinking of ways to convince their friends.

"Arre guys let them be naa.."
"Ohhh!! Matlab tum donon ko bhi pata tha inke is hide and seek ke baare mein?? Guys! Peeto inko! Inn lovebirds ko hum baad mein dekh lenge!"
"RUN!!", Rey shouted to Simmi as the gang ran after them to hit the life out of them!

And our SwaRon lay back in each other's arms, laughing at their friends aand wrapped in the one place in the whole world where they truly belonged.😳
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Thanx for reading, if anyone has, lol :-P
Sorry agar achha na lage... Cheers😃

res

Wooo!!
That was OUTSTANDING!!!!
Loved it to the core!!!
You know through this OS you simply portrayed that to give out the best you don't need heavy word..
Simplicity does its magic..
I just a few simple word you covered the whole atmosphere with so much magic that I can still feel it tingling around!!
Sharon's entire confession was penned down so beautifully that I could actually feel the pain..
Great work dear 👏

wow very nic loved it...

dialougs are suparb...

ruladiya hai tumne iss dil ko ! ...
awesome os ...made me cry !
soo good it was !
keep rocking

Simple writing yet very very effective :)

it was simply amazing dear...loved it... 😃

Unres. .

Dat was just outstanding. .
Simply fantastic os perfect on emotions. .
D way u portrayed sharon in dis was brilliant..
Sharon actually stole d show for me. .
She was just fab, her dialogues perfectly written. .
Could feel it n could connect to dis os. .
Very very well done. .

that was simple awesome and fantastic os... loved it