UDAY POV
I sat in the bench munching on the hot jallebi all alone, the sweetness of it diminished in my dry throat. The sun was on the urge of setting, the people were going back to their home, to a place where someone was waiting for them, to a place where they would be greeted with a happy smile and to a place where they felt peace among their beloved. I had no place or home as particular just a four wall building, no one to greet me or no one to wait for me. The walls seemed to suffocate me, the people who claimed to be my beloved seemed to irk me, I had no motive or ambition in my life just waiting for the day when it would all end up. I was still stuck in the past still stuck on her. She was everything to me, she was the reason I was breathing, I thought everything was perfect but then she left me all alone, she was selfish to do so, she cheated on me, and we promised to always stay together. But she left me all alone in a place which is known yet unknown to me, among people who loves me yet does not care for me, I feel like a lost child, no matter what my parents, relative or friends say to me I have turned deaf to all their word, blind to all their action and I have closed my eyes as I do not want to see any vision that does not have her, I do not want to listen to anything that does not have her and I do not want to live a life that does not have her. I ask and ask the reason behind living me but she stay mum, she never answer my phone, does not even reply to my email and if I happen to go to her home she simply rejects to open the door. I know she too sits and cries on the other side of the door, she is afraid to speak on the phone as she too knows that she still loves me. Today like all the other evening I have deserted myself in this park and eating her favorite jallebi, but this time all alone. My head is aching but there is no lap on which I can rest my head now, even if I cry she does not wipe my tears and even on my birthday she does not be the one to wish me. I know it was my entire fault but she deserves to give me a second chance as I see the sun completely setting and her smiling face is in my vision now the haunting memories of the past come rushing to my mind
Before 10 years
First day of college, a new term, a new beginning , with lots of hopes and dreams in his eyes, Uday made his way to the campus of IIT Kanpur, since the age of seven he was determined to be an engineer and his ambition was even more polished and shined by his parents who both were engineer. He was from Delhi and since childhood his result spoke goldenly, he was never denied of anything in his life. He had never learned to loose and he too scored the highest in his boards during and the entrance exam. As life every goal has sudden hurdle so did his too, when on the very first night he found a ragging session, previously he was counted among the bullies but today he was supposed to be the prey. Like all others he stood in a queue as one by one all the task was given, now it was his time, as he came his eyes fell on a girl, she looked like of his age, dressed in simple salwar with her hair neatly to one side of the shoulder, there she stood in middle laughing and cracking jokes. Her laugh send his heart at ease, he was mesmerized by her beauty as his trance was broken by the bully who introduced himself as Jaggat a third year student for sure as he asked Uday to choose any girl whom he would like to kiss. Unknown to them it was nothing big for uday, like other boys he did was not nervous but actually very happy though he denied of showing it in his face and he had already spotted his girl as he said in a nervous tone
The girl in white salwar standing to your left
In a span of moment his collar was gripped by Jaggat as he said to him gritting his teeth
Sale kamine you got my sister to be kissed
Now all eyes were fixed on them and so was her, as she looked innocently and curiously as Uday smirked at her expression and challenged'
Why isn't your sister a girl?
That single word sends the entire corridor into fire, jaggat barked to that girl to go to her room. It was only then that he came to know that her name was Manyata. But it was too late for him as he was held in their tight clutches and was beaten back and blue though he too gave them good blow but one against five was too hard. It ended by the guard's whistle they all were asked to report to the office the next day. They exchanged cold stare and went back to their room. He laid down on his but failed to sleep as his dreams were already captured by Manyata. He could not think of anything else but of her. Even the wound did not hurt him much as a smile was plastered to his face. The next morning he was dressed and waiting for them so that they could go together someone unexpected came to him. She was manyata, he looked at her, today she was in the light shade of yellow and the salwar decently covering her body, her wet hair loosely tied and he was more surprised when he found her making way towards him. She came to him and said in a pleading voice
Hey I am really sorry for what my brother did to you yesterday! Can you please forgive him and please don't report him as if this time also he is found guilty then he would be rusticated from the college. Please I promise that he will not trouble you anymore.
He gave her an assuring smile and said to her
Ok I promise I will not report her name but I have a condition
What condition? I am willing to accept any condition of yours
Fine then today evening get ready we will go for a coffee
She nodded her head in yes and left the place, he did not report their name and both of them got detention. Jaggat was unaware of the deal with his little sister and still hated uday, well uday too hated him as they walked out of the class exchanging cold looks. As promised manyata did come with him for a coffee or maybe it was just more than a coffee. Uday and she were in the Terrance as they sat and exchanged a long conversation about each other life. Manyata belonged to a rajput family of Jodhpur, she has come from a place where girls are not treated with respect but her family is exceptional they are liberal and gives both their child equal freedom. So manyata and jaggat are allowed to do anything they want and marry any one they feel like as their own parents have a inter caste marriage. uday felt himself connected as he too belonged to a family like that who did not care much about social views, they were also from the same class as she was a fresher too. Days passed by as their friendship grew stronger but with each step even Uday and Jaggat enmity grew stronger. They were always into a conflict until the basket ball match when Uday won trophy for the college and even gave the winning score to Jaggat. Now they were the bestest of friends with their growing friendship even manyata friend ship grew more with Uday, by the end of the semester Uday and Manyata had become a couple and both their parents knew about this relation. They supported them as they themselves had a liberal view towards life. Three years passed both of them graduated together with flying colors, they both joined the same company but at different sector he joined in Delhi and she in Jodhpur. Soon there family decided to tie there knot as even jaggat was married by now, people did question but they ignored it, for them only their happiness mattered. It was the day of the engagement and right after that they both went for a romantic drive. He was driving it in the highest speed as he was extremely angry, while the engagement party one of their old classmate and also her fan dared to flirt with her. He was so fired as she held his hands and said
Uday please do not drive so fast please uday
Why the hell did he have to say that huh?
Please don't be angry let he take a look at the cake that is meant to be eaten by you
His anger vanished into the thin air by her scornful comment as she added
Do not spoil you moss because of this despo just after a week at this time we will be getting married to me can you imagine that
As he took her hands into his and kissed the back of her hands, she smiled and blushed furiously. In the darkness and silence of the night they failed to notice. A huge truck rushing towards them and in no time there car was smashed to the other side of the road like a broken match box.
He opened his eyes in a place that was very unknown to him, there was a huge spring field as he walked along the place, the garden was filled with red roses and there was a beautiful harmony being played as he saw her, his beloved there, she was sitting and her face covered in her palms he went to her and took her into his embrace as she kissed his cheek. They did not speak anything but sat there into each other arm. As she was crying, he wept her tears and asked
What happened love? Why are you crying?
Uday just know one thing love always does not mean to care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be. It is always not about living our life together but about keeping our love alive. I love you uday and I want you to keep our love alive in you.
Why are you saying all this manyata?
You will indeed know the reason but I want to tell you do not blame god as he too have to be judgmental if he gives a life then definitely he have to take one
But I do not understand anything
It ok just closes your eyes and rests your head on my lap
As her face pulled closer to his and placed a kiss on her eyes, as he slept on her lap.
When he opened his eyes he found himself in a white washed room, his hands had been injected, his body felt more heavier and he could see his mother sitting beside him as he said to her
Mummy where manyata?
She did not say anything just headed out of the room, uday heartfelt nervous he was scared as he looked at the calendar beside his bed, it was the date after 3 whole days, and he looked at the doctor while he said with a soft tone
See you had major injuries in your head and you were under treatment three days.
Doc where is manyata?
Don't worry she is fine, she has gone to her home ok I will ask her to meet you soon ok
He nodded his head in a yes, but still he felt insecure if she was fine then she should be there by his side, as the doctor left he looked around and found a perfect chance, he pulled out all the tube and sneaked out of the hospital, something in his mind said it was better if he went to Manyata s house. He searched his neck and found a gold chain which he sold and bought the ticket and some clothes for himself. It took him four days to reach, fighting his weakness each moment he made it to her home. As he went there, the door was already open there was weird smell that comes during a puja, he wobbled his steps and looked at the calendar the date made him so happy, it was their wedding day, as he came inside but was shocked the hall was filled with people in white, as his eyes fell on the floor his heart seemed to stop, it was his beloved manyata but she was covered in white, her photo had a garland her mother looked at him. As uday bent down to her level patted his hands on her cheek and said
Oii stop your nautanki see get up baby today we have our marriage... you cannot deceive me...please get up
His voice was already broken with tears as he took her body into his embrace and not willing to leave and kept crying. The priest came to take her body away but he simply would not let her go, he hugged her like a child hugging his favorite toy. But they forcefully separated him from the body, he followed them to the graveyard like a mad lunatic as he helplessly watched his love being eaten slowly in the flames. He sat by her fire, the evening sky had a pink shade all men were making their way back home, none bothered about him as no one knew him. Jaggat and her dad were back at some tour unknown about this entire thing and her mother was too broken to think about all this. Uday sat there as he watched the fire, his heart was a lot more calmed as tears kept rolling down his cheek. Her words did make sense to him now..
FLASHBACK END
I am lonely and isolated, if someone had to sacrifice then why she, why did not god kill me, why is he punishing me by killing me each day. I have no reason to live, I do smile to please my family to assure them I am breathing but I know I am crying inside, my beloved, she left me and I could do nothing but watch her die, why did god turn so cruel towards me? I am keeping our love alive as she asked me to I am breathing but more than this I cannot do anything. My mind diverts I hear her name, yes her name, where is she, is she near, I look around to watch a tiny small chubby girl crumbled down on the floor and I took her into my arms, my eyes covered with tears as I asked clearing her wounds
are you ok manyata? are you hurt?
she nodded in a no and went away to her mother sitting there, as I looked at her and wandered if we were to be married we too would have a daughter of her age. I stood up and walked back to a the same place with a lone tear in my eyes.
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Shiv Shakti
