|SriShank as JaGanFF-JPOV|Confession||Jan20Part13p32,14p33Makeup

After fighting with myself for weeks, I was back in Mangalore. Explanations could wait. Bapusa could guess from the look I gave him before I left for work that day that something was definitely going on. I'm not sure what I tried to convey to him. I hoped that as a father, he could sense my helplessness. With my engagement to Sanchi recently broken, everything at home was a mess. I broke it. After months of pressure, double mindedness, and staying quiet for everyone's sake, I gave up. It was pure chaos and madness afterwards. I tried my best to do damage control, but some things needed time. They couldn't be forced. It did help that Sanchi immediately moved on. Though she refused to acknowledge it in front of her own family, I believe I had done her a favor as well. At least she didn't have to pretend anymore. I was pretty sure she had found someone else, someone who was more her type, which I wasn't and never would be.

Maa was angry. Sometimes it looked like she was calming down, gradually her anger was subsiding, but then I couldn't be sure. She stopped talking to me the day it happened. Dadisa told me to give it some time. Dadisa was angry too. Anandi's in laws all hated me now. Shiv was supporting her, so she was saved from their anger. But I was used to be hated. It made me feel small. It made me hate myself. I felt suffocated. I went through days feeling like I should never have been born. Everyone would have been a lot happier that way.

But throughout my agony, there was one nagging desire which never went away. I tried to crush it and suppress it. I tried to make myself believe that it was all in my head, not in my heart. The truth is, this desire was everywhere. It was in my veins now. I longed to see her. I longed to be with her. I wanted to run to her. I wanted to spend an entire day playing with Mannu. Playing with Mannu was harmless enough, I wouldn't be harming anyone if I did that, would I?

So I left. I booked a flight for this evening. I would have to come back quickly. I planned on staying two days. I went to the hospital first, and then with absolutely no luggage, I went straight to the airport. Right before boarding, I called Bapusa.

"Yes, Jagya?"

"I'm at the airport. I'm going to Mangalore. I'll be back in a couple of days..."

"Anandi called me...she told me everything about Sanchi..."

"Oh...so you know?" That was the next part of the tale. There were several unpleasant truths about Sanchi which had slowly unraveled. Her family had just come to know them. I knew them too but I didn't think it was right to let my family know yet. I knew Maa would crumble from the guilt. It was better to let her continue hating me, instead of seeing her hate herself.

"Yeah, I know...Go Jagya, go to Mangalore...be safe."

"Ok. Don't tell Maa anything. Not yet."

"I want to tell her everything RIGHT THIS SECOND." He emphasized the final three words.

"No, don't...you know how she'll feel..."

"Fine, but as soon as you're back, I'm telling her everything." He said.

"We will. Together." I said.

"Ok. See you soon, bye."

"Bye."

It was time to board. I passed time on the plane by looking through pictures of Mannu on my phone. That kid stole a piece of my heart, in fact, a large chunk of it. Ganga didn't know I was coming. I had a copy of her timetable. I arrived and got a room in a hotel. It was 4pm. She had a class today until 3pm. She'd be back by now. I went to her house. I knocked on the door. Kaka opened it.

"Hello Dr Saab. I didn't know you'd be coming." He smiled and let me in.

"Yeah, it was a last minute plan. How are you?"

"I'm good. Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"Just water..." I looked around. My eyes desperately sought a glimpse of her. I listened for any sound of Mannu's tiny footsteps.

"Mannu just went to sleep...he wasn't feeling well all night...wasn't sleeping or eating...it upsets Ganga too...she can't concentrate on anything when Mannu's not feeling well."

"How is he now?"

"A lot better...he finally ate..."

"I'll see him as soon as he wakes up. Where's Ganga?"

"She just went out. She said she would be back in a few minutes."

"Ok..." I waited. I went to the bedroom. Mannu was fast asleep. I touched his forehead. It didn't feel like he had a fever. I kissed him. He looked so small and innocent lying there, I wanted to hold him in my arms. He was so innocent. He couldn't judge people. He didn't know right from wrong. But somehow, whenever he looked at me or touched me with his little hands, I felt like a better person.

I sat at the edge of the bed and watched him. At some point, I lay down and dozed off. I woke up when I heard the sound of Ganga's voice.

"Dr Sa, are you alright?" She was watching me, wide eyed. I got up.

"I fell asleep..." I said, feeling a little embarrassed. She nodded. "Kaka told me you came...I went to buy a few things for dinner...you look tired." She frowned. "If you want, I'll leave you here and you can sleep. Mannu already woke up, he's playing now." She smiled. I loved it when she smiled. I smiled back.

"No, actually I was a little worried about him...Kaka told me he didn't sleep last night...he wasn't feeling well...and it upset you. I wanted to check on him."

"Ok..." She smiled.

"How was class? How's everything going with your coursework?"

"It's ok...check on Mannu first. Then I'll tell you..." She said. He smiled faded off. She looked upset. That always made me anxious, seeing her upset.

I went out. She followed. Mannu was playing with his toy cars. He saw me and smiled. He ran and tripped over some of his toys but excitedly got up again continued. I picked him up.

"Hey Mannu, remember me?" I asked. Mannu smiled. I kissed him. I had a stethoscope and thermometer lying around here. I'd visited so many times, and Ganga knew how to use these things too, so I left her a set. I checked Mannu and he seemed just fine to me.

"He's good. Nothing to worry about..." I said. Ganga smiled. "It must have been an upset stomach of something. Now, tell me what's going on with you." I said.

Loved it,mehwish...Jagya fell asleep,aww,so cute it was.

Originally posted by: santhiyaa_J

Update the next part

not so fast.😛 and you didnt tell me what u think of this one

Originally posted by: shankythebest

Loved it,mehwish...Jagya fell asleep,aww,so cute it was.

yeah he did 😆

Originally posted by: yanks28

not so fast.😛 and you didnt tell me what u think of this one

Wow you rockd it Mehwish, awesum writing yaar!!!!!! waiting for the newt part.

hey mehwish, awesome start yaar!😃

I liked that you wrote it from jagya s pov veryo refreshing . . So the man finally broke it . . . He seems very mature in this one . . . Finally he is here to meet her . . Update soon and am still waiting for your take on my os and ff :p

Originally posted by: charuluv_SV

hey mehwish, awesome start yaar!😃

finally engagement broken👍🏼

aww!!he is in desperate mode😉

good that nothing happened to mannu😊

hope Jagya doesnt back to jaitser so soon,u know what i want😉

i want J's POV in next part(understand)😳😆update soon😉

i liked it verymuch🤗

The whole FF will be in Jagya's POV.

Originally posted by: -Eris-

I liked that you wrote it from jagya s pov veryo refreshing . . So the man finally broke it . . . He seems very mature in this one . . . Finally he is here to meet her . . Update soon and am still waiting for your take on my os and ff :p

Thanks Vibz. I'm actually doing my masters right now so every day I multitask while im online😛 I stay in the ATs mostly and the only reading I do is related to my masters😭 I will make time for your FF soon for sure. I glance at everyone's FFs here SUsh Shanks all are doing a wonderful job. It's just that my life has become a Shakespearean tragedy since I started my masters😆