ARHI FF: A force-field of happiness: NOTE on Page 88 (Dec 24, 2014)

Hello all. So I've been a silent reader for a while, and have really enjoyed some of the FFs on here. Writing this FF is a big deal for me. I've been stewing on this for a while, and not sure how it is, but I decided to give it a go.

This is my version of a continuation of IPK, right from where it left off. Khushi had won the Mrs. India, Aarav was happy with his new family and life was pretty much good. This FF starts four years later. Khushi has been missing for the past two years. The story starts there with setting the context.

A word of warning, this is going to be looong ride...and looong khushi-less ride. Oh she's everywhere, in memories, in thoughts, in flashbacks, but physically, not for a long while, if ever. Another word of warning, this is going to be very slow paced, and alot of context building, so please be patient.

(Ammendment dated 30th Sept: Ok, not completely Khushi-less, but this story is all about the quest to find her. So she will be present appropriately, the focus however is more on Arnav and the family's quest to find her.)

Also, any feedback would be welcome. If people are not liking the story, I will stop.

Random note: I initially titled this FF as moving on...it seemed apt. But I think there are many FFs with that name, so I have since changed it. The name makes much more sense to me now. 😊

Index is right here. Happy reading.

Index:
Chapter 1: Page 1
Chapter 2: Page 1
Chapter 3: Page 1
Chapter 4: Page 1
Chapter 5: Page 1
Chapter 6: Page 3
Note: A VM on Arnav's state of mind: Page 3
Chapter 7: Page 4
Chapter 8: Page 5
Chapter 9A: Page 7
Chapter 9B: Page 8
Chapter 10: Page 13
IMPORTANT NOTE: Page 16
Chapter 11: Page 16
Chapter 12: Page 20
Chapter 13: Page 24
Chapter 14: Page 28
Chapter 15: Page 32
Chapter 16: Page 36
Chapter 17: Page 42
IMPORTANT NOTE - Give Saakshi a Face: Page 47
Chapter 18A: Page 47
IMPORTANT NOTE - Please read: Page 55
Chapter 18B: Page 55
Chapter 19: Page 60
Chapter 20: Page 65
Chapter 21: Page 75
Chapter 22: Page 84

Thanks all,
Shy

CHAPTER 1: Stagnant Airs

The air was still and quiet. Hari Prakash went about his duties in the kitchen, his mind in a different place. He put two glasses of juice and a tray and turned to leave the kitchen. At the threshold, he hesitated, and gently peered around the corner. No-one was there. He sighed, resigned, reminding himself again that the days of laughter, frolic, even anger and angst were long gone. He quietly made his way up the stairs to the boys room.

He knocked gently and entered. "Aarav baba, your juice", he stated as he placed one glass down in front of the young boy. "I don't want it", came the curt response. HP sighed. After almost two years of the same routine, one would have thought he would be used to it. He turned around and left the room. He looked up at Anjali, who was observing the proceedings with an almost desperate yearning in her eyes. She smiled at HP and said, "Don't worry HP, I'll take care of it". HP nodded. These words too, he had heard many times in the past two years. "Leave Chottey's juice outside his room, I'll take it in for him", Anjali said. HP nodded again and proceeded to do as instructed. As he left the juice on a small landing table outside his employers room, he glanced up at the closed door. Unbidden, tears sprung to his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and shuffled away, wondering again, as he did almost every time he stood by that door, when happy times would come back for those he quietly loved.

Later that evening, the family was gathered for dinner. Naniji sat at the head as usual, while the rest of the family surrounded her. Nani's eyes were closed, as though in prayer. She opened her eyes and glanced first at the two empty seats on either side of her. She glanced next at Aarav, who was fidgeting in his seat, his plate in front of him, empty. "Chotey..?" she inquired of Anjali. "He is in his room, Nani. He will eat there." Nani nodded, feeling a lot older than she was. "Aarav, you may leave. I will send your food to your room." Aarav didn't need to be told again. He took off with a sprint. Dinner continued, a subdued affair.

Anjali was not normally prone to rages of anger; that was her brothers specialty. But that evening, she felt very close to it. She had felt that incensed only one time before, when she finally threw her husband out of her life, after years of turning a blind eye to his betrayals. At that time, she had her brother and his wife to hold her hand and help her through her struggles. Not this time. She hobbled to the temple in their house and looked up at the idol. She closed her eyes and prayed fervently. "Hey Devi Maiya. Help me, guide me." Tears streaming down her cheeks, she randomly felt the stirrings of a breeze. She abruptly opened her eyes and looked ahead at the kind smiling face of the Goddess. "Just bring her back Devi Maiya, just bring her back," she whispered. Suddenly, a brainwave hit and she smiled through her tears. "Oh Devi Maiya, what would Khushi do! That's exactly it. What would Khushi do?" She muttered a word of thanks and hurried away, hoping again that this time, her plans would work.

"We need to get him mad. Angry mad. We've been handling him with kid gloves. Do you remember Akash, what it was like before her? We need someone to get under his skin." Anjali ranted on as her younger cousin Akash and his wife Payal looked on at her. Akash ran his hand through his hair, and said nothing. Payal looked up at him with worry. "Di.." he started. These nightly brainstorming sessions had become a bit of a tradition between the three of them, ever since Akash and Payal had returned from America. At first it gave them hope. Now it seemed like another endless, hopeless routine. Still, they clung on, hoping to find strength from each other. "Di, we cant bring Khushi back. We cant create another Khushi either." Anjali looked at him impatiently. "I know that Akash. I was not suggesting that we create another Khushi. All I am saying is that he needs someone to rile him up. Someone who's not going to mollycoddle him the way we do. And someone who's not scared of him." Akash looked at his sister with exasperation. "But Di, thats Khushi." Anjali smiled at him. "I know Akash. I have an idea. Just hear me out."

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Thoughts? 😊 With Love, Shy

Scroll down for Chapter 2

Ok, here's the second chapter. I know that I'm really new on this forum, but I would really appreciate comments. If I feel like people are not reading and not liking it, then I can focus my energies elsewhere.

Chapter 2: Mutual dependencies

The next day brought a much needed respite for Anjali. NK returned from Sydney. He spent as much time as he could in Delhi but intermittently had to return to Australia. Every time he left, Anjali felt like she aged by about five years. And when he returned, her heart lightened. Funny how roles that were carved out years ago, came to fruition now. NK had been the closest to Khushi, and now that she was gone, he was the closest to her adopted son. Aarav was well on his way to being a replica of his brooding father. He always had been a temperamental child due to his upbringing in an orphanage, but Khushi's love and Arnav's attention had helped in making him feel loved and part of the family. Khushi's sudden disappearance and Arnavs total withdrawal had been hard on this child, who followed in his fathers footsteps and withdrew from the family. The only person to draw him out of his shell was NK.

Nk was unpacking as he reminisced about the time that Arnav and Khushi adopted Aarav. Arnav's manipulative ex-girlfriend had tried to pass off Aarav as Arnav's son. Her deceit was discovered in the eleventh hour; however the outcome of the entire debacle was Aarav. He was thrilled to have Arnav and Khushi adopt him but the transition was far from smooth. Suddenly, the young couple found themselves having to deal with clashes in parenting styles, insecurities and bruised egos. Nothing new for those two, thought NK. They managed. And Aarav adjusted to both parents, becoming their pride and joy. Aarav idolized his father, but was ferociously protective of his mom. He was the center of her life. When she was gone, Aarav felt her absence keenly, probably more than even Arnav. NK sighed. Dealing with a temperamental adolescent boy that didn't express his feelings was no mean feat.

NK had barely finished unpacking when Anjali strode into his room. "NK Bhai. I am so glad to have you back", she exclaimed. He looked at her and smiled. He knew how everyone suffered in Khushi's absence, but every time he saw Anjali, his heart burst with pride. Here was a woman, he thought, who rose from the ashes to become a dazzling phoenix. She may not realize it, but this woman is holding the entire family together. "Di. Glad to have me back? I would have thought that you want at-least another month away from me and my rotten Hindi." Anjali smiled at him, tears in her eyes. Who would have thought that the immature foreign-returned distant cousin would be her strongest support system?

Both cousins shared a quiet moment of peace with each other. Although they had always enjoyed each other's company, it was only since Khushi left that they recognized the value in each other. Anjali found someone other than Arnav to lean on, and NK found someone other than Khushi to respect and admire. They became a strange pair, tag-teaming the various responsibilities within the family. Not having to speak much between themselves, but anticipating each other, they worked towards filling the void that Khushi had left. "Oh Di. The flight this time was so mukhwaas, I tell you. The food was also mukhwaas." Anjali smiled tiredly. Both of them heard the same giggly voice in their heads. "Bakwas, Nanheji, Bakwas." With a quiet sigh, she brought him up to speed on Aarav and left him to deal with the boy in his own way.

NK sat on Aarav's bed and watched as the twelve year old completed his homework. The homecoming was good, mused NK. Aarav's temper tantrums were becoming more manageable and the turn-around time from surly brat to sincere student was better each time. This kid is going to be the death of me, thought NK. Just like his mother was.

Many would wonder why he rearranged his life around this strange family that technically wasn't even his. After all, he was related to Aakash, not Arnav and Anjali. But the bond between those three were so strong, it was impossible to not see of them as a unit. But the true reason for his connection to Arnav and Aarav could be understood by the look in his eyes as he gazed at the photo frame on the boys desk. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada. The only woman he had ever loved. The wife of his cousin. The woman he'd promised to stand by and support his whole life. In her absence, he stood by her family, praying every day for her return.

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Thoughts? 😊 With Love, Shy

Scroll down for Chapter 3

Another chapter. I am going to keep on writing and keep updating, even though I don't know if anyone is reading this, but I'm enjoying writing it. I'm not very happy with this chapter, but oh well. I know it's still quite glum, but it will get better. :)

Chapter 3: Stand-still

Arnav Singh Raizada. Also known as ASR. He was a formidable personality. Shouldering great responsibilities from a young age, he built a massive empire out of nothing. Life and success had made him both bitter and arrogant. And so he hid behind the facade of anger and power. Until she came along.

She. Khushi Kumari Gupta. The only person not only to stand up to him, but also the only one to see through him. Oh, he had resisted her. He really had. But she had a way about him, and eventually he had to succumb to her. He told her once, that he wouldn't be able to live without her. And it was true. In the two years that she had been gone, he didn't know quite how to live. The only thing that kept him going was the desire to find her again. He threw himself in the quest to find her, leaving aside everything else, including work and family. For without her, how did anything else make sense?

He hired and fired investigator after investigator. He travelled the breadth of the country (and even other countries) following leads that would take him on wild goose chases. He lost all sense of time, purpose and self. It was only his Di and NK that could get through to him. Di and NK, he realized in his few moments of clarity, stepped in and filled his shoes, allowing him to focus completely on his search. Anjali started looking after aspects of the business, and a dormant ability that no-one knew she had came to life. The ability to recognize talent in people, and to inspire their loyalty. While Anjali made sure things at AR industries remained afloat, NK made sure that the family, particularly Aarav was not neglected. Yet, they struggled. And gladly welcomed Aakash and Payal back to help with work and home. Arnav was aware of all the adjustments and sacrifices his family was making for him and Khushi. He somehow felt quite detached from it all, as though watching them from afar. But he tried to give them a little bit of him.

After almost a year of useless searching, NK and Di made him give it up. At-least, the running around the country part. Searching for her, he would never really stop. And so he withdrew. He threw himself back into work. But everything reminded him of her. Working together in the office with her. Helping her design the new bridal collection. Expanding her tiffin business. So he worked from home. But even there, he was haunted by her. Worse than losing her, was not knowing why. Needless to say, ASR didn't work much. Aakash slowly took over most of the daily managing of the business, while Di stopped working and came back home to help there more. He'd force himself to pay attention, for the sake of his son, who was feeling the loss of not one but both parents. He'd give in to Di and NK's cajoling to take a more active interest in Aarav's life. But none of it helped in getting rid of the cold that had gripped his heart. He sat on the recliner hunched over the laptop, reading the latest string of emails from the new private detectives he had hired. His eyes glinted with that old ASR steel, as he assessed the information in front of him. He was still looking for her, but still no closer to unraveling the mystery. Where did she go? Why, after two years of bliss, did she just disappear with only two lines on a scrap piece of paper telling him that she was sorry, she had to go and would he please look after her son. Was she even alive...no...he couldn't think that way. No news was good news. It meant she was still out there somewhere. He sighed in defeat and leaned back with his eyes closed. "Khushi...where are you.."

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Thoughts? 😊 With Love, Shy

Scroll down for Chapter 4

Looks interesting so far...would love to read further.

So here's chapter 4. Thanks to Shweta for my first comment ever!! :). As I said last time, I am enjoying writing so I will continue, but if people out there are reading, please do comment. I will be just thrilled! 😃 Anyhoo, so Chapter 4...don't ask me why, is my favourite chapter so far. It's not very long, but I just love it. It's been ready for a long time now, just waiting to be posted. So read on!

Chapter 4: Responsibilities

Dinner that night was a more jovial affair, as jovial as it could be. Aarav ate his dinner quietly, occasionally sniggering at NK's jokes, while Arnav sat at his place, glancing between his son and the empty seat by his side. Anjali for once was sitting back quietly, letting NK run the show. Mamaji and Mami laughed at NK's antics, their hearts glad to have him back in their fold.

Later that evening, father and son were found at the poolside garden quietly tending to the plants. After Khushi left, Arnav was barely ever home to tend to his plants, driven crazy by his quest to find her. When he returned after a particularly long trip, he found his ten year old son quietly tending to the plants in the poolside garden. He realized then why the garden had not yet started dying. He had never noticed anything before, but suddenly it clicked and made sense. Inexplicably, a rage built inside him as he glared at the young boy. How dare he, thought Arnav. Here his mother is missing, and his biggest concern is tending to flowers? Letting that rage rule him, he picked up the closest pot and hurled it the ground. He glared at Aarav ready to unleash his fury, when he noticed the same fury reflected in his son's eyes. "How dare you," shouted Aarav. Needless to say, Arnav was stumped. Aarav had always worshiped his father. He idolized his father, and had never talked back to him. This was an unexpected first. "Those are mom's favorite flowers. I planted them for her last year so that she could make her own jasmine garlands rather than buying them from the market. Now you've ruined it." Arnav was mesmerized. He quietly felt a ribbon of pride in him. This is Khushi's son, he thought. Loyal, sincere and thoroughly unpredictable. Just like her. As though instinctively, he reached out and grabbed Aarav in a bone crushing embrace. Eventually, he vaguely noticed through the numbness in his heart, that Aarav was sobbing in his arms.

That evening, for the first time since she left, father and son grieved together. After that, neither spoke of the event. Aarav continued tending the garden on his own, wanting to keep the garden ready for his mom when she returned. And every time NK returned, Arnav would find himself drawn to Aarav and the little poolside garden. There was a strange sense of accountability that Arnav felt to no-one else but NK. After all, NK was the one that Khushi trusted the most, in a way even more than she trusted Arnav. In a strange way, he felt closer to Khushi when NK was around. Every time his cousin would return, he would feel a pinch of guilt for not being a good father. Almost as though she would somehow find out through NK. And so he would go to his son, and help him in tending the garden for his wife's return.

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Thoughts? 😊 With Love, Shy

Scroll down for Chapter 5

Arnav might be grieving but to tend to his son's emotional needs only when he is accountable to someone is wrong on his part...i wish he could look beyond his own pain and give aarav the support that he so badly needs...but i guess thats easier said then done ...aarav is being strong ...just like his mother...loved him

So here's Chapter 5 guys. Now, the story will actually start. Again, thanks to Shweta for commenting. I feel like I have at-least one reader! :) Any tips on how to get people to comment more if they're reading this story? Anyhoo, I'm going to still go on with this story, and see where it ends up.

Chapter 5: Mature Insights

While father and son were occupied with the garden, the rest of the siblings had, once again, assembled in Aakash and Payal's room. Anjali, animatedly shared her crazy ideas with NK and tried to convince a skeptical Aakash to give her plans some thought. Truthfully, Aakash could not be blamed for being skeptical. Anjali was becoming more and more desperate day by day, to find ways to bring her brother out of the black hole he had fallen into. In the past year, they had tried idea after idea, plan after plan, all in vain. Yet, Anjali kept trying. And now Aakash was getting tired. Not of trying, but of constantly failing. However, the night grew late and Anjali and NK retired to their rooms, leaving the couple with their thoughts.

Payal looked at the profile of her husband who stood rigid, in the corner of the room. So much had changed since when she first met him. At first, he was a quiet, shy man, who blushed every time he looked up at her. Then he became a sweet, kind lover. And then an image-obsessed ambitious husband. They had been through much in their four years of marriage. When they moved to America, she had gone with trepidation, not sure which avatar her husband would morph into next. It turned out to be the best decision of their lives. Away from the shadow of his stern and successful brother, Akash finally was able to spread his wings. And away from the constant criticisms of her mother-in-law and expectations of the large family, Payal was able to devote time to herself and her love. She transformed from the meek, quiet obedient girl, to an independent woman, confident of her role in her husband's life. When her sister disappeared suddenly two years ago, Payal and Akash jointly decided to return to Delhi, to help Anjali manage the two men that Khushi had left behind; her husband and son.

If there was anyone Payal loved more than Akash, it was her sister Khushi. For Khushi's sake, Paayal gave up everything she had built for herself in her new world, and resumed her old role of responsible daughter-in-law. She felt she owed Khushi. Payal had a feeling that even she didn't know the true extent of hurt and sacrifice Khushi had suffered all for her Jiji's sake. So, without thinking of what it would mean for herself, she dropped everything and came back. She didn't know what she was expecting when they returned, but truth be told, she had not expected this. She had not expected that two years would pass with no word of Khushi, and a life would continue as a monotonous existence for everyone within the palatial mansion that was Shantivan. It was like all joy and hope had been sucked out of the place, and life just stood still. "What is it with Khushi," Payal mused. "When she comes, she brings a force field of happiness, and when she leaves, it goes along with her."

Aakash took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Di is grasping at straws," he said quietly. "She's coming up with these crazy ideas that make no sense. Bhai doesn't care anymore about the Shetty debacle. And honestly, Surinder Pal is not going to do much damage to ASR's non-ego anymore." Payal had a faraway look on her face. "I think," she started hesitantly. She looked up at him with a question in her eyes. "Tell me Payal. Your opinion is important too." Payal smiled, her heart feeling light. "Di's not wrong, but maybe she hasn't thought about it the right way." Aakash stared at her perplexed. "Ok, so what's your solution," he challenged her, knowing she'd take the bait. "Whatever happened to that potential project with that California-based company?" "California...?" Akash asked confused. "Oh...but she...her company?" Payal looked at him with an unfathomable expression on her face. "I think you should go ahead with the merger as planned. Call that woman here and get the project started." Akash looked as flummoxed as he felt. He didn't quite know how to react. Payal felt his confusion, and hid a smile from him. "Akash, do you remember when you started conversations with her, your brother was completely against the idea. He hasn't met her, but he didn't like her. The only other time I've seen him that angry was with Khushi." A look of comprehension dawned on Akash's face. "But Payal, this is business. You can't compare Khushi with a business deal. And she, she's not Khushi, Payal."

Payal gazed at him serenely, not betraying the tiny hint of anger she was starting to feel. "No-one's trying to compare Khushi with anything. And no-one can replace Khushi, least of all some American business woman. She's my sister Akash. But Di's right you know. Your Bhai doesn't even care about business anymore. There have been no new deals, no projects, no major growth at AR, nothing since Khushi left. All you do every day is damage control, and all he does is maintain status quo. Only when Di was there did anything actually happen." "So what's your point Payal," Akash asked with impatience. "I think this new deal is exactly what Arnavji needs right now." "And he'll agree to get involved with this particular deal, when he's cocooned himself from everything else?" he asked her skeptically. Payal smiled. "Yes, he will agree." Payal stood up and smiled, her mind going to a moment in the past. "Khushi told me about it. The company was interested mainly in Khushi's collection. At the time, Khushi didn't get involved not wanting to go against Arnavji, but I know she was very excited about the idea. All we need to do is remind Arnavji of how this was Khushi's dream, and he will agree. She even wrote to them you know. She wanted the exposure for her collection."

Aakash was not a stupid man. He was quite intelligent in-fact, but he seemed to lack this dash of intuitiveness that his wife possessed in leaps and bounds. Di's outburst had triggered an intuition in Payal. She had noticed that preserving Khushi's memories had become a sort of obsession with her brother-in-law. As though keeping her alive around him will somehow bring her back. In her own quiet way, she had been helping him remember her, by doing what she would do, making the food she made so well, just trying to keep her alive in their lives. Maybe it helped, but if it did, it didn't help much. Arnav remained trapped within his memories. Somehow, Payal felt that this one would be different.

America indeed had been very good for Payal, thought Akash wryly. He was amazed at her intuitive understanding of things she barely talked about. She never had such strong opinions before, he thought, or maybe she just never expressed them. "Who is this woman," his mind asked him as he looked down at her, "and how well do I really know her?" Almost right away, the thought gave way to a feeling of immense gratitude, as he thanked the Gods again for bringing her into his life.

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Thoughts? Please please share!!! 😊 With Love, Shy

Chapter 6 here

nk ... u have proved the bonds/ties of the heart are stronger than the ties of blood ... it is difficult to imagine khushi without her friend nanheji and it is difficult to imagine nk without thinking of khushi... khushi has tied nk to the raizada's more than the relationship that they actually have with him... even her absence has the power to hold him to the RMians...