TTB #4 Imp note on Pg 64 - Page 29

She looked at her naked reflection on the mirror, highlighted by the early rays of sunlight streaking into her bathroom through the tiny window on one corner. They managed to reach the solitaires adorning her ears, bouncing through its walls and twinkling them, and she was instantly carried back to the previous day when he had kissed her.

Soon, the memories of the previous night flooded through her mind, crystal clear like the water in the brook. She could still feel his lips ravishing her body, carrying her like a feather on a windy day. The images were so real, she closed her eyes in absolute bliss, reminiscing every bit of those precious memories.

Memories, that she would hold onto dearly for the rest of her life.

The slight graze of his stubble, the way he held her forearms dominatingly, completely immobilising her, the way his husky voice breathed into her ears, the slight tinge of alcohol on his breath as he kissed her with all his power.

She remembered every bit of it.

"Khushi! Stop day dreaming and come out faster. I've got to use the bathroom too." Madumati's voice boomed through the room, slicing through her thoughts and she found her eyes snap open to the reality.

Yes, it was just a day dream. But a dangerous day dream that had become her reality.

As two drops of tears rolled down her cheeks, she poured ice cold water down her head, hoping that the remnants of the previous night would wash away, her tears washing away into oblivion with the other drops of water.

Alas, if it were only that easy.

Freezing chilly water, beyond what her body could tolerate cascaded down her body, as her body screamed out in shock to stop this excruciating torture.

But she didn't listen to her mind. A desperate laugh escaped her lips, as she continued, only the two pair of warm molten brown eyes, capable of providing the relief she had desperately wished for, for the past fifteen years, warming her frozen heart.

o0o

"Arnav! What is this?" Dadi's authoritative, no nonsense voice, echoed through her enclosed room, bouncing back from the four old walls, directing towards her grandson's ears.

"I don't know." Arnav cried in sheer frustration, having no answer for her question. How could he have forgotten about Lavanya all this time? His heart knew that he had no feelings at all for that girl who had kissed him in the morning. Rather it was with the one who he had wanted to begin the day with, whose memories he had slept with the previous night.

His conscience was definitely clear about it.

But he knew that Dadi's fury directed towards him, was completely valid. What if, Khushi had witnessed that scene? How would she have felt?

"I had clearly warned you beforehand. Don't play with a woman's life. You don't have any right to do so. Do you understand Arnav Singh Raizada?" Dadi's voice rose several pitches higher, her index finger directly pointed to his face.

And Arnav shuddered with fear for the first time in front of his Dadi. She had never reprimanded him this way, and now that she did, he knew that she was serious about this whole issue.

"Believe me Dadi. I don't love Lavanya. There is nothing between us. Infact, our relationship was strained for the past few months. Dadi, I love Khushi. She is the one who I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with." Arnav confessed his true feelings for the first time, hoping that his Dadi who was very dear to him, would understand him.

Immediately, he saw Dadi's eyes soften as she reached out to cup his face with her wrinkled arms.

"I know, my boy. I know that you love Khushi." She replied in a soft whisper. "But, have you thought about how Khushi would have felt, if she had seen that girl kiss you? She would be devastated and you of all people know Khushi. Once you break her heart, she may forgive you, but she never forgets. The wound would always be etched in her heart for eternity."

"I know Dadi. I'm sorry. I'll make sure it doesn't repeat again." Arnav reached out to hug her, only to be refused out rightly with a glare.

"I'm still furious at you." The elder woman reminded, brushing away his hands and Arnav knew, just how grave this issue was. Knowing that it would be useless to pursue the matter with his stone headed grandmother, he sighed and turned around to leave the room, heading towards his next destination.

Khushi.

o0o

"Ah Khushi! What took you so long?" Manorma Mami's voice greeted her first thing in the morning, as she stepped into the Raizada Mansion through the back door, ready for the day's work.

"No, Memsaab, I had some work back at the cottage." Khushi stuttered as she tried to explain to the elder woman.

"Ok, ok. Now, take these bags to the guest room on the left wing. And arrange the room nicely. Check whether the bedsheets have been changed." She ordered, pointing at the luggage bags on the floor.

"Have the guests already arrived, Memsaab?" Khushi asked curiously, wondering who had arrived. Ofcourse, she knew that one by one, the guests would start arriving, but she was curious to know who was leading the pack.

"Yes, they have and you better be on your feet all the time from today onwards. We have lots of work to do." Manorma explained, while Khushi immediately began picking the bags one by one, ready to head towards the room, when suddenly she stopped midway at the sound of footsteps and her instant reflex was to look towards the source of the sound.

"Mami, can I have some juice to drink? I'm famished after the long journey." The owner of the voice said, and Khushi's eyes instantly travelled to the new girl at the house, wearing an expensive overcoat and boots, her hair set no less than the models on the English gossip magazines that she used to sneak peek into, at the newspaper stalls in the Mall road.

"Sure dear. Why not? Khushi, give her some orange juice." Manorma immediately commanded, while Khushi dropped the bags down and rushed towards the fridge to serve the guest. She tried to sneak through the corner of her eyes to get a glimpse of this new guest, trying to guess who it might be.

And when she handed over the glass to her, as if Manorma could read what was going on in her mind, the elder woman replied. "She's Lavanya."

"Good morning." Khushi greeted, folding her hands, bowing in front of her, flashing a small smile, only to be followed by immense shock at what followed next.

"Our chottey's girlfriend. Future daughter-in-law of Raizadas?" Manorma turned towards Lavanya, raising her eyebrows teasingly and quizzically at the latter, who only laughed at the comment. "Oh ho, Mami! You're quick!"

And they were interrupted by the sound of the bottle cap dropping on the floor, followed by the sound of squishing juice as the bottle followed the cap, completely drenching Khushi's dress and wetting everything around her.

"Stupid girl! Can't you be a little bit careful? See, how you dirtied the entire floor. Now, clean it up before anyone else stamps it and makes it messier." Manorma clearly reprimanded her, while Khushi silently bent down, mumbling apologies and began to clean the floor, with only one sentence echoing in her ears.

The future daughter-in-law of Raizadas.

Chottey's girlfriend.

It was as if the entire world had suddenly turned silent. Or had she turned deaf? She didn't know. Her eyes turned blurry in mere seconds, her lungs suddenly finding difficulty to inhale even a breath of air. Her throat choked as a huge lump formed instantly, making it hard for her to even swallow a drop of saliva.

Raising her eyes, she turned to look at Lavanya's face, who was glaring at her curiously, with an air of mock on her face.

She noticed her perfect green eyes, her burgundy hair cascading down her shoulders contrasting beautifully against her creamy face, so spotless and complete perfection, as if she was a masterpiece of God's creation.

She noticed the perfect bow shaped lips, highlighted with the brightest shade of red lip gloss, the black mascara elongating her already perfect eyelashes to brilliance.

And suddenly, Khushi Gupta became acutely aware of her shortcomings. Her imperfect face. Her mere average looks. Her position compared to what her best friend actually deserved.

She had known all this while that she was never meant for the great Arnav Singh Raizada. But she never knew she was so worse off compared to what he could get.

And nothing but shame and dejection flitted through her heart as she instantly downcast her eyes and began wiping the floor, the reality of her status finally dawning upon her.

"These servants are like that only. So careless and irresponsible, I tell you." Khushi heard Manorma's hushed voice, talking to the other girl.

The air around her suddenly turned suffocating, and unable to stay a minute in the same room, Khushi quickly did her job and rushed out, lest her eyes unmask her true feelings and betray her.

The luggage bags in her hand felt like boulders, simply refusing to move. But inspite of it, she summoned all her strength and pulled them along on the long corridors of the Raizada Mansion. She didn't even cry out in pain when the wheels of the bags crashed onto her little toes during the struggle.

How do you describe that pain, that excruciating horrendous pain as if a thousand needles were pricking your delicate feet? It is no longer called pain. You are transported to a limbo, where you feel numb and nothing else.

And Khushi Gupta ran and ran, as fast as her legs could carry, not knowing where to hide, where to seek refuge, the realisation suddenly dawning upon her that she was as vulnerable as when her best friend had abandoned her fifteen years ago.

"Kukku, where are you hurrying? I was searching for you." Arnav's voice suddenly sliced through her thoughts, trying to capture her attention, while she bumped right into him as she whizzed past the corridor. She used all the self control to restrain back the tears that were threatening to spill any second later, and looked up at him, putting forward the bravest face she could muster.

"Nooo… nnnothing." She stammered, trying to free herself from his strong arms that suddenly burned the flesh where they touched her. "I have to go to the Town. Wedding arrangements." She blatantly lied, hoping that he would let her go.

"Wait, why are your clothes wet?" Arnav suddenly asked, observing her state and coming closer, he could sniff the slight fragrance of orange juice emanating from them.

"Why do you bother?" Khushi suddenly snapped irritated at him, the true feelings within her unmasking themselves, like they did from time immemorial.

Transforming to anger, ire, rage, fury.

She didn't realise when her own hands raised up in the air and pushed his chest summoning all her strength. Her mind went blank, her senses, numb.

"KHUSHI!" Arnav retorted back with equal furiousness, wondering what was up with her, as he suddenly yanked her arm and pulled her back towards him.

"Why? Can't I have a life of my own? Does my life always have to revolve around you and this house?" Khushi spat back, trying to free herself from his grip, but he was just too strong to overpower.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you talking like this? What happened, Kukku?" His voice suddenly softened, reaching out to caress her face and for a minute, he could notice the instant change on her face with that one warm touch from his side.

However, it was gone the very next second, as she slowly pushed away his hand, this time visibly calmed down. "I'm fine." She replied, however, her eyes remained downcast to the floor. "I've got to go." She added and before he could question her further, she simply slipped away from his hands.

"Khushi, wait! I wanted to talk about something with you." Arnav called out after her, but to vain as she simply walked away, without even stopping to turn around to listen to what he had to say.

What was happening? Arnav glanced around in confusion, only to be interrupted by the voice of Lavanya directed towards him. "Baby, where did you disappear?" She appeared, sauntering towards him.

Maybe if not Khushi, he needed to atleast clear it with Lavanya, and deciding that it was the best opportunity, he sighed and replied. "Lavanya, we need to talk."

o0o

"What do you mean we cannot continue like this?" Lavanya screamed out in frustration, or rather more in fury at what Arnav had told to her just a few minutes ago. This was not at all her plan, and now that she saw things suddenly turning awry in a matter of few minutes, she had to admit it, that she was indeed panicking.

"Look Lavanya. You and I both know that this relationship was over long time ago. I mean when was the last time we even went out for dinner together? I cannot even remember it. You were busy with your work, and I was busy with mine. We have to admit it, we aren't made for each other. So it is best that we amicably part our ways, instead of pursuing a futile relationship." Arnav explained, reaching out to hold her hand.

"Arnav, what are you saying? I remember every single thing baby! How could you even say that everything is over between us? I agree that our work never let us spend valuable time together with each other, but that's normal right? I mean which couple doesn't have ups and downs in their lives. Look, we can still make this work. If you want us to spend more time together, then I'm ready to even quit my job for you." Lavanya pretended to cry, hoping that atleast by emotionally blackmailing him, he would change his mind.

"La! Don't make this hard on me." Arnav groaned in frustration, clamping his face with his hands, not knowing how he could convince her, the truth. "Look, you will still remain a good friend to me. I still cannot thank you enough for taking care of me when I was lying injured in the hospital after the accident, three years ago. But that's it. You are a good friend. I cannot consider you anything more than it. I would be betraying you and myself, if I promise you anything more."

"But Arnav…" Lavanya protested, but she knew that there was nothing she could counter argue with him, to convince him otherwise. Once Arnav Singh Raizada made up his mind, no one could deter his decisions.

"Lavanya, I'm sure you would find a much better person than me to spend the rest of your life with, who would make you feel like a Princess and love you irrevocably. But that guy is not me, La. It's not me." He patted her shoulder, feeling guilty for making her go through this.

But he hoped that one day, she would finally understand and let go of him, hopefully, not holding any grudges against him.

Alas, if only he knew the entire truth…

o0o

"Annyav, where do Kings and Queens live?" the eight year old Khushi asked with her squeaky voice, rolling over her best friends bed, as he lay on his front and busily read some book.

"In palaces." Little Arnav non chalantly replied, sipping the mango juice from the pack with the help of a straw.

"How big are these palaces?" She continued, bombarding him with her curious questions intriguing her little brain and when Arnav forgot to reply to her, she pinched his straw with her two tiny fingers, blocking the juice from moving upwards, finally capturing his attention towards her.

"Kukku…" He glared at her warningly, while she sheepishly smiled at him.

"Tell nah!"

"Oh, they are very very big. Even bigger than my house."

"Is it so?" Her small hazel eyes widened as round as oranges, causing him to chuckle in turn at her silly reactions.

He noticed her turning silent for few minutes, as if busy pondering over something, until sometime later, she finally broke her silence. "Annyav, do you think I can also live in a palace?"

He may have been just a small kid, but even at that age, he knew how significant that question was to that one little girl and how his one answer could make or break her dreams.

"Why not?" He had immediately replied, inching closer to her, reaching to pull her in a hug. "I will take you to a palace, where I will be the King and you will be my Queen and together, we will rule the entire world." He had giggled, reaching out to peck her dimpled cheeks.

"Annyav, you are too much." Khushi had pushed away his face, grossed out with his sloppy wet kiss while he had snuggled even more closer to her for another kiss, just to annoy her.

"No, I'm three much." He had cheekily replied, earning another push from her.

"Magarmach!" She had retorted back, breaking out into fits of laughter at his antics.

"Kach pach!"

"What on earth is Kach pach!?" Little Khushi had asked confusedly at his reply with her squeaky little voice.

"Muaha ha ha! Kach pach means…" Arnav had flashed his wicked grin and before she knew it, she was pinned on the bed, as he mercilessly tickled her, until the entire Raizada Manor echoed, only the laughter of these two little kids.

And finally, when both of them were exhausted, Khushi had rolled up to his side, and with her innocent yet hopeful hazel eyes, asked him just one question. "Annyav, do you think you and me can ever be King and Queen?"

"Kukku, continue to dream and one day, they will be fulfilled." Arnav had replied with a silent promise, holding her hand firmly.

"Why did you teach me to dream, Arnav? Why?" Khushi broke down in the present, in the confines of her backyard, a place where even her best friend hadn't been permitted to enter. It was her place, her secret, away from the entire world, where she was free to breakdown without shame, without fearing what the world would think.

She tried to cry. She wanted to cry. But tears simply refused to roll down her eyes.

Why would you cry Khushi? Her inner voice called out to her. Hadn't she foreseen this already? Didn't she know about the famous tales of Arnav Singh Raizada? Hadn't she known what life her best friend lived? Was she really that naive?

No, she wasn't a ten year old. Twenty five years of her life had taught her a lot.

That things were never what they seemed to be.

Did she really think that her best friend would still be that innocent yet sweet boy who had promised the world to her?

People changed. Things changed.

Change was the only constant thing in the world.

So why did it still hurt listening to the fact that the Arnav Singh Raizada, her Annyav, who she loved more than her life, who she had loved from the first time he had trespassed into her heart, was claimed by another woman?

Why did she feel so bad, as if she had lost the only prized possession that she had?

Why did her life suddenly feel so empty and meaningless? As if she had lost all purpose of her life?

No, Khushi, you cannot break down. You cannot lose. Her inner conscious reminded her.

What would you say to your Mumma and Pappa if they ask you the reason for your crying? What would you tell them Khushi?

And that was it.

Khushi Gupta closed her eyes, trying to recollect as hard as she could, the faint faces of her parents, only to fail miserably at her desperate attempt.

Twenty years were too long for the memories to remain afresh. It was even hard to recollect how their voices sounded like. Whatever she did, however hard she tried, all she could recollect was Arnav's face. His warm embrace, his soothing touch, his reassuring voice.

And that was it to break down the dams of her frozen heart, as it finally wept for the loss suffered twenty years ago, the feeling finally hitting home that she was an orphan.

That she was all alone in this world.

And for the first time, her laughter couldn't camouflage her sorrow.

Confused with Khushi's behavior? Yes, it is indeed. Khushi is a lot more complicated than you can imagine. Her way of thinking is different and guided a lot by what has happened in the past. Is she pessimistic? Yes, kind of. And no one can change it. Her thoughts are only her deepest insecurities manifesting themselves in her mind.

She is strong, but ultimately even the strongest person breaks down at one point because the feeling of loneliness, that you have no one in life for you is the most horrible feeling in the world.