SS - We Meet Again! Chapter 5 - page 13 - 23Jul13 - Page 8

Chapter - 5

For the first time in her life Zoya woke to a delicious feeling of well being, as if everything was right in the universe. She wanted to savor this feeling of euphoria and buried her nose deeply into the wonderfully comfortable and warm pillow. The arms around her back tightened in response and murmured in pleasure.

"hmmm. Zoya, my love, my life!"

Arms? Murmured? Keeping her eye closed she felt around the pillow which turned out to be a beautifully chiseled chest. She shifted her legs but they were wrapped around hairy male ones. One of the arms around her back moved up to head to caress her hair and the lips landed on her forehead to place a gentle kiss and then the body under her relaxed. Memories of the night before came crashing down on her with the power of a tsunami. Zoya covered her mouth to suppress her gasp. Last night...Asad, the sunset, the ocean, the stars, the company, the conversation, being in his arms, the feelings, the love, the kisses, the lovemaking!

Oh! My! God! What have I done?

She gently moved away to extract herself from him. As she pulled away, pain of being separated from him, came crashing down on her as if one of her limps was being forcefully pulled from her body. As she stood up beside the bed she gave herself a moment to view the perfect sight of Asad sleeping so innocently. Zoya felt an overwhelming sob and waves of grief come up her body, she covered her mouth to suppress the sound and somehow turned to run into the bathroom. She closed the door to lean back against it and allowed the tears and sobs to flow. Scared that her sobs that sounded like a cry of a wounded animal would wake Asad up, she turned on the shower and stepped under the freezing cold water. She let the sobs and cries be drowned by the sound of the shower. Her body shuttered as the sobs, cries and pain traveled up her body. When cold water didn't have the desired effect of numbing the pain, she sat down in the tub and hugged her legs tightly in hopes of holding it all together.

She knew that she had loved Asad with every fiber of her being and last night, after twenty years of keeping it all in, she had allowed her feelings take control to guide her actions. She didn't regret what happened as it was an expression of their love, and love is a gift from god and it can never be wrong. She owed nothing to Tanveer, their love was divine and it came from a very high place and existed long before she came into the picture. She thought that one night would be enough but after experiencing what life could have been she knew it wasn't enough and never would be enough. She had thought she could walk away after gathering and locking all the memoires in the deepest part of her heart, only to take them out late at night when the loneliness of being without him was unbearable. These memories were supposed to make things better but now she felt paralyzed. She was afraid she would forget the past and throw herself at his feet to beg him to give her any bits and pieces of himself, anything that he could spare.

She was so engrossed in her pain that she didn't hear the door to the shower open until she heard Asad say her name numerous times.

"Zoya! Zoya! Zoya!"

"Zoya, what are you doing? What's wrong?"

He got into the shower and exclaimed when the water hit him, "oh god, Zoya, this is freezing" he turned off the water and tried to pull her up into his arms. Zoya continued to cry and tried to curl into an even tighter ball.

"Zoya, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Still no answer.

"Zoya, please speak to me, I can't take this!"

"Did I hurt you last night?" Asad was close to tears himself at the thought of hurting her. Zoya shook her head as she tried to stop crying but she still emitted painful whimpers and then her teeth started clattering and her body started shuddering with cold. Asad was in a panic as he grabbed some towels to wrap around her and pulled and half carried her out of the shower. He started to use all the towels one by one to dry her and as they dampened he threw them on the floor. As the towels littered the floor Asad continued his monologue to Zoya.

"Zoya, I am so sorry that I hurt you last night. I misunderstood and thought you wanted the same thing. I am so stupid I should have known you said you wanted us to hold each other and feel each other and I took things too far. Zoya, I am so sorry, my love, please forgive me."

Zoya shook her head to deny what Asad was saying but he was in complete panic mode and continued to frantically dry her. Zoya couldn't take him blaming himself anymore and went up on her tippy toes and pulled Asad's lips to hers. He allowed her to kiss him but pulled away enough to say against her lips. "Zoya, I love you so much. I would never willingly hurt you."

"Asad, you didn't hurt me."

"I am sorry, Zoya, please don't cry. I can't handle it when you cry."

"shhh" With that Zoya pulled Asad back into her kiss. This time they forgot who was crying and who was comforting and collapsed on the nest of towels on the floor.

~~~~~~

When they finally caught their breath Asad stood up and picked her up very gently like she was the most delicate flower, walked back into the bedroom to placed her in the middle of the bed. He then lay down beside her on his stomach, looking down at her and slid his hands under her arms on both sides, leaving her no choice but to move her hands up his arms to rest them on his shoulders.

"Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

She shook her head then nodded to answer no and yes to both his questions.

Zoya felt a bit self-conscious and tried to move away to fix her still damp hair, knowing it was a huge mess, her eyes were swollen from all the crying, lips puffy from all the...Asad shook his head and moved even closer to drop a kiss on her forehead, eyelids and then nose.

"You're beautiful." He whispered in his husky voice.

Zoya shook her head and but a tiny smile stole onto her lips.

"Why were you crying?"

Again she shook her head.

"Zoya, please say something! Your silence is scaring me."

She closed her eyes and turned away. Asad gently turned her head so that they were eye to eye. His panic started to build again and this time higher.

"You know that I love you, right?."

"I know."

"And I know we wouldn't be here if you didn't love me."

Zoya didn't say anything this time to agree.

"Last night I thought this would be enough to last me a life time but it's not."

"It has to be." She said around a shuttering breath as she heard him verbalize her thoughts.

"No! No, Zoya, I can't let you go. Now that I know what my life was supposed to be like I can't give it up again."

"Asad.."

"No, Zoya, No!"

"As.."

"You have no idea how I survived without you. I am a shell of a man without you and I know I won't be able to live without you this time. Please don't ask me to."

"But.." Zoya was actively crying now.

"Zoya, we will make it work. We'll run away no one has to know where we are. Eventually you can get a divorce. I don't want to hurt Ayaan but you're mine. You always were."

"Ayaan? What does he have to do with anything?"

"We can call the kids later. We will start fresh in a new place where the past doesn't affect us." Asad was no longer listening or thinking clearly, he was in complete frantic panic mode, desperately thinking of ways to keep Zoya with him forever.

"I don't understand, Ayaan? Divorce? You mean you will divorce Tanveer?"

"Tanveer and I divorced a long time ago; she left me for her old boyfriend. I meant you can eventually divorce Ayaan."

"What? Why would I divorce Ayaan?"

"Zoya, I know you don't love him. I don't know why you married him. But you wouldn't be here with me if you were committed with him."

"You think I married Ayaan? And am still married to Ayaan?"

"I know you don't love him. You love me?" Asad wasn't sure what was going on. He was puzzled by Zoya's reaction.

"Get off me!"

"What?!"

"I said GET OFF ME!" Zoya shouted. Asad quickly turned over on his back and moved away from Zoya.

Zoya jumped off the bed and looked for something to put on. First piece of clothing she saw and put on was Asad's Tshirt that she had so carelessly tossed last night. It covered her to her knees. She then turned back to Asad, who was sitting on the bed with the sheet pulled up to his hips.

"You think I married Ayaan? And am still married to Ayaan?" She asked in a shrill voice.

"Didn't you?" Asad asked in a puzzled voice.

"Just because you slept with Tanveer and married her doesn't mean I am like you."

Asad leapt out of bed and put on his shorts before moving to Zoya to explain, "Zoya, I never slept with Tanveer. After you left with Ayaan she came to tell me that her ex husband had abandoned her when she became pregnant and asked me to give her son a name. I only married her to help her but then later found out there was never a husband only a boyfriend, that too when she ran away with him and left me with her son."

Zoya took a step back from Asad to shout, "you think all of this will make a difference to me?"

"I was only explaining."

"You want to explain all this to me now? 20 years later?"

"Vo.."

You think now that you have told me I will forget that you never trusted me? My words? You professed to love me but you believed a liar and a cheat? When I left you never came looking for me and turned around to marry the liar who never cared a lick about you? But you loved me?"

"Vo.. actually.. I wanted to but.."

"You actually believe that in spite of loving you I would marry your brother? That I am capable of deliberately hurting you in that way?"

"I don't understand, you didn't marry Ayaan?"

"No, you fool, I didn't marry Ayaan. He is like my brother and he loves my sister Humaira. He married her."

"B..b..but your daughter?"

"Yes, my daughter, Sara, is my husband Prem's. He was my college friend. It took him 5 years to convince me to marry him. Like an idiot I waited 5 years for you before I gave up and looked at Prem and married him. He was the best thing that happened to me."

"Was?"

"Yes, he died."

"I am sorry, Zoya."

"get out!"

"But..."

"GET OUT!"

"Zoya, don't do this. We can finally be together. There is nothing that can keep us apart. Last night..."

"I SAID GET OUT."

"Don't do anything. I will leave. We will talk later. I love you."

"Shut up. I don't want to be with you. I want you out of my life. This time forever! Now GET OUT."

Asad walked out of the room.