FF--Discontinued until no further notice- - Page 6

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samiya.059 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#51
Wow beautiful
the story is getting intresting
thanks for pm
update soon
sashashyam thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#52
My dear Fatima,

Thanks a lot for writing such detailed and clarificatory response to mine.

I feel rather guilty at having made you spend so much time on this when you are so hard pressed with your studies. I would like to suggest something for your possible use when you simply cannot spare the time for the updates. I am sure you have a notebook for this story, and whenever you feel like taking a break from your studies but cannot take enough time off to write another chapter, you could think out the framework of the next chapter and jot it down pointwise in a format that you can decipher without problems when the time comes to actually write it down. It might save you a lot of the preparatory work when you get down to writing the chapter.

Take care and all the best for your studies, as also with this story.

Shyamala Aunty

sashashyam thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#53

My dear Fatima,

You are coming along nicely, very nicely indeed. The note found near the TV is eerie, hinting at half-seen terror and despair, and in that sense , the sense of despair, it meshes perfectly with Avantika's feelings as you had described them in the prologue.

I do not intend to speculate about the poem, for that would be fruitless, but tell me one thing: in the penultimate line, is it "Brings me the tale, why the black moon rising" or is it as spelt here, "the tail"? I can make even less sense of the present version than of "tale", but of course it would all be clear to you! At least I can now glimpse, even if not really understand, why Riya was 'terrified' in Chapter 2.

I was pleased and impressed by the reference to the paraffin test. That is a neat professional touch! I hope all your readers know what that is, but if any of you do not, it is a test for detecting the minute particles of gunpowder that adhere to the skin on the hand of a person firing a gun. It is proof positive that the individual has actually fired the gun. In this case, a positive paraffin test for Avantika's hand would strengthen the case for a suicide. One can of course wear long gloves and beat the paraffin test.

Fatima, you have managed to retain the correct note of mystery so far, and I am sure it will get only better as you (and we) move ahead.

Shyamala Aunty

Chapter 4:


IshqDewaani thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#54
wow...the story is moving really mysterious...supercool...
thanks fr the pm...
lovely
shrutisweety thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#55
i have read all parts
they r awsome
send me pm
shrutisweety thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#56
i have read al the
they r awsome
send me pm
basicquestion1 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#57
ramadhan mubarik fatima.
missing u n u'r work.

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