Who says our soaps are a mad chaotic world with no order or cohesion? There are clearly laid down rules for deportment which our television characters follow, KS being no exception. So critics may please be silenced!!!đł
Here are 8 Commandments as far as Marriages in our serials are concerned:
1. Always Marry for the RIGHT reasons.
You can marry to take revenge (best reason), out of friendship/gratitude or to save your family honour. NEVER marry for LOVE. Remember what Rhett Butler told Scarlett in Gone with the Wind? Its the height of bad manners for a husband and wife to be really in love with each other! đ You should never feel more than respect or platonic affection for your partner. Hatred is even better. Passionate love is best kept outside the marital bonds!!!đ
2. Abstinence is a Virtue. (At least in the initial days of marriage, and with your partnerđ)
Who said beds are the most imp furniture in a bedroom? Long, cushiony sofas are a must...for the hubby to sleep on of course!!!!
3. Occasional Straying is Good for health (For husbands only of course!!!)
Ok, if abstinence is too much of a bore, you can have a EMA. Choose the right partner though: sister-in-law, best friend of wife, psychotic ex-girlfriend in that order of preference.
Wives, needn't despair. Though they may not have a fling, they can allow ex-lovers, best friends cum silent lovers to hang around them all the time...esp whenever they are in trouble!!!đ
4. NEVER consummate your marriage unless you are drugged, intoxicated or have temporarily lost your memory. It may appear too forward. Of course in case you do it in your full senses, then remember to show appropriate regret the next day...And AVOID your partner like plague thereafter!
5. Your Spouses must be the LAST to know.
All secrets need to be kept from your partner at any cost. If secrecy is killing you, you may unburden yourself to your spouse's best friend, your ex-lover, your siblings, your partner's siblings, your parents, your parents in law, your domestic staff, neighbours, neighbours dog, the urchin in the street....But NEVER your spouse. He/she won't be able to take the shock you see.
6. Love can KILL.
Ok, if marrying for love is the height of bad manners, falling in love with your spouse and then SHOWING it is even worse. Never confess your love so easily. If you do, try and pass it off as temporary insanity/amnesia. In case that doesn't work, follow it up with trying your best to hurt your spouse to the fullest. May be you can reveal the affairs/non-affairs you have been having for that. Vamps/jealous mother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws may help you.
7. Babies are NOT meant to be born. (for the wives)
No explanations needed for this...Remember the concerns about the population boom?
After making the entire world including your spouse wildly happy with the news of your pregnancy, try and have a miscarriage asap. You can go fight the villains, wander off in isolated spots trying to play detective, or protect your hubby/family member/servants/pets from non-existent perils (The police don't know their job of course!) Oh...wearing 6 inch heels and running down winding staircases is also acceptable!!!đ
8. And lastly, DON'T stop at one.
Variety is the spice of life. So keep marrying again and again. It will keep your life eventful and happyđ
Just a parting thought. Our KS characters are following the above to the the T. Will never accuse them of being unconventional now. Can't be unfair to them now can I?đđ
Disclaimer: The above is just an (admittedly feeble) attempt at humour. NO offence meant to anyone!
Have a great weekend!
love
Rupy
Anupamaa
Fan Fictions
