I have NOT written Amar's parts in "totla" language, because well I find it quite annoying to read and also 'coz I was too lazy to write like that. đPlus I dont appreciate this totla thing being used only to make fun of him. It's mean.No offence to anyoneđł
Another thing, this OS has been written taking both Amar and Rinni's POV separately. I hope it's not confusing. Anyway, happy reading!đ
His eyes followed her as she walked into the class. Though she was smiling as sweetly as always, there was something about her demeanor which made him realize she was upset. Her eyes were slightly red, he could see the colour in her eyes right from the seat, something her best friends had not even noticed. They had their arms linked together as always, as they sauntered into the class. Sharon chose to sit beside her boyfriend Swayam while Simmi and Rinni sat on the seats behind.
Amar turned around completely and stared discreetly at Rinni. She was so beautiful, he almost found her unreal. She hadn't come to yesterday's rehearsals either. According to Simmi, she hadn't been feeling all that well. But Amar had known there was something more to that.
Rinni shook her head slightly, making all her hair fall onto her face, covering most of it. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to stop the tears which so desperately wanted to come out. A number of thoughts were moving fast through her brain making her feel giddy. Last night's conversation, if it could be called one, flashing through her mind, vivid and as clear as ever.
"12 out of 40?! God, I'm absolutely sick of seeing all these red lines all over your tests. Please don't show me these marks of yours."
"But Dad you need to sign- "
"Oh so that's all you're interested in, my signature. Well unfortunately for you, I'm not going to sign this test."
"Dad please"
"Enough Rinni. Do you even plan to pass TYBCom and get that degree? And what will you do after that? DANCE for the other employees in the bank? Give them some form of entertainment??"
Rinni's mother interrupted him. "Vijay, now, stop it. You know she- "
"I know what? All day she is either dancing or wasting time with those useless friends of hers. That Sharon, she has her father's business to get into after college. And so does that other girl. What will you do?"
Rinni looked down, ashamed.
"Dad, I'm sorry, I really tried hard this. You know that. I sat for 8 hours and practiced all the sums."
"Then WHERE are the results of your so called "hardwork"? I want results, Rinni. I'm warning you. Next time I don't get proper marks, this dancing hobby of yours is going out of the window."
With that her father huffed out, leaving her alone with her mom. She had cried all night, questioning herself repeatedly as to why exactly she wasn't doing well. She had come to the conclusion that she was just a dunce, a complete bimbo, who was just destined to be less than average when it came to studies.
Rinni opened her eyes, trying to push all negative thoughts out of head. She didn't want anyone to know what she was going through.
"Rinni, Rinni!" Simmi had been screaming in her ears since quite some time now, but Rinni had been too lost in her own world to notice.
"Sorry what?"
"God what is wrong with you dumbo?" Simmi said affectionately. But the word 'dumbo' stung Rinni. Even though she knew Simmi didn't really mean it, she tried hard to make herself believe it was the truth. Everyone knew she was a dumbo. It was not a secret anymore. She turned around slightly and found Amar staring right into her face.
A bewildered Rinni immediately moved away. Amar realized what he had just done and turned towards Bharat, embarrassed. How stupid he was, staring so blatantly at her. She already thought he was a weirdo, now she would probably think he was a psychotic weirdo. He wanted to kick himself for admiring her like some stalker.
He didn't know what to do but luckily the professor came in and saved them the awkward silence. Class commenced and within minutes, everyone was busy with their books. Except Rinni and Amar.
Rinni was trying her best to concentrate but she just couldn't get all those negative thoughts out of her head. Why was she even trying? It didn't matter anyway, she was a failure. Amar, on the other hand, could see her discomfort and wanted to know what was wrong. Plus he was feeling guilty about staring at her so openly.
The bell rang and Rinni muttered something to Simmi before running out of the class. Amar stared at her agape, wondering where she was headed. He got up to follow her, but was stopped by Bharat who started hitting him for hiding his answers during the class.
She was sitting in the library, her head in her hands, tears running down her face and onto the accounts book lying on the table. The library was empty except the librarian who was least interested in finding out about Rinni, so busy was she in her magazine.
"Hey hey hey it's a college book, you don't want to pay a fine now do you?" Amar said sidling into the seat next to her, a big smile on his face.
Rinni quickly wiped away her tears and turned towards him.
"It's mine actually." She said smiling ever so slightly, as she turned the book to the first page to reveal her name.
Amar closed his eyes, embarrassed again. "Oops" he said," that's alright then." He laughed awkwardly.
"So what's up?" he asked, looking at her."Why were you crying?"
"I wasn't crying", she said, blantantly lying though she knew he had seen her.
"Oh c'mon, I can't talk properly but I surely can see properly! Tell me what's wrong?"
He looked at her accounts textbook and the notes lying next to it. The sheets were filled with crosses and angry scribbles, made out of pure frustration. He realized everything within a minute.
"Accounts not going into your head, huh?" He asked softly, looking straight into her eyes.
She bit her lip and shook her head slowly.
"Well then you're wrong. It's more than accounts. It's you. Isn't it?" He asked frankly.
Rinni stared at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"I mean it's all within you. Look at this sum. You've done it perfectly right. This one careless mistake," he said pointing at her error ,"and you got the whole thing wrong."
Rinni looked at the book and then back at him.
"But that's just one sum Amar. I've got plently of 'em wrong in the past as well."
"That's because you expect them to be wrong, Rinni. You've lost all confidence in yourself. Tell me, how is it that you never ever forget a single dance step then?"
"Amar, that's because I am good at dancing."
"Aha! Exactly! See, you trust yourself when it comes to dancing. You know you're good and the confidence reflects everywhere. Contrary to that, you've just given up on ever getting a sum right in accounts, which is why it all seems so difficult to you."
Rinni just stared at him, unable to say anything.
Amar flipped her book and randomly landed on a page. "Check out this sum. You've done it right and them you messed it up right at the last stage. Now is that just plain carelessness or is it that thinking of yours which makes you believe 'you won't get it right so why try anyway'?"
Rinni didn't know what to say. She realize what he was saying WAS right. She did feel that way most of the times. His speech had suddenly made her feel confident.
She looked at him once before choosing a sum from the textbook. She read it happily and began solving it. Amar stared at her, smiling, as she went about doing the sum. Within minutes she had arrived at the answer. She checked whether the answer was right'and it was!
Rinni grinned at Amar.
"Thank you."
"Um for what? I didn't solve the sum!"
"You know for what."
"No really I have no clue." He said, teasing her.
"Ok then. Thanks for making me feel confident."
"Ahh you're always welcome Rinni." He said, looking at her affectionately.
"But'how did you know all this? About me?"
"Well I know you more than you think I do. You believe nobody cares about you. You're wrong." He said, almost inaudibly.
Rinni looked down, blushing. She couldn't look him in the eye. Whenever she did, she always felt a little embarrassed. Was it love? Maybe, maybe not.
She took his hand and shook it gently.
"Thanks again, Amar."
"I'm always happy to help you Rinni." He said, not taking his eyes off her face. She leaned forward and hugged him. Amar closed his eyes, taking it in, knowing it wasn't going to last long.
And he was right. Rinni moved away, slightly confused. She was confused about her feelings for him and he was well aware of that. But he didn't mind. He knew she would come to him one day. Till then, he was happy to help.
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