Isnt Sandhya becoming Selfish?

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

I tried my level best not to think like this of my favourite character in TV. A girl whose pain I could relate to. But yesterday I lost that girl and found the standard all sacrificing serial wali bahu.

I mean as a married woman I could understand most of her pain points with her relationship with Sooraj.

But one thing I couldnt agree to or will ever agree is giving your MIL importance over your husband.

I mean I wouldnt have minded Sandhya's sacrifice if it was for shielding Sooraj from his mother's betrayal. If she had understood Sooraj will be devastated knowing Bhabo's truth and if it goes forward Bhabo might do something else and then she may not in a position to hide it and she cannot bear her husband's suffering. So she lets go of her dream. Atleast that was believable.

How could she as a wife stand there eye to eye with her husband who is moving heaven and earth for her dream. Without speaking a word to him she has decided to throw away her dream to be in the good books of her MIL. Isnt it making mockery of his selfless love towards her. He has given his life for her. I mean how many men or if ever someone is there or not I dont know will sacrifice their marital bliss for their wife's dream. He is doing that. But she is backstabbing him.

She wants to be in the good books of her MIL. But what about him. She very well knows that Sooraj has promised her late father that he will ensure that their daughter's dream will be fulfilled.

She can throw away the dream, but does she have the right to throw away his promise. Does she have the right to make him stand guilty in front of her father. If she doesnt want the dream for some reason doesnt she has the courtesy to inform her husband.

Sandhya maybe I will be able to appreciate you again only when you think seriously seriously about Sooraj. I dont mind if you dont become IPS. Because in my eyes yesterday you proved that you do not have the quality to be a honest or mentally tough IPS officer. How easily your family can emotionally blackmail you.

But for God's sake be a good wife to your loving and caring husband and dont backstab him.

Edited by shruthiravi - 12 years ago

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...soniii...

@...soniii...

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Posted: 12 years ago

Not a Selfish She is trying to Please her MIL

to her dream Suraj is Ready to do anything , he may even go against his Mother Likes if times Fixes him on that point , Sandhya knowing the Truth of Fake Love Choco Feeding got a clear picture of how deeply Bhabo is unwilling to see her Dream fuflfilled ..

She sacrificed her Dream not on her selfish but she took her priority is to maintain a balanced and unjerky relation over her Dream.

I am Waiting for time Bhabo to proove her Love on her son(which is Directly related with Sandhyas Dream)

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Nice post Shruthi. I can't use the word selfish for Sandhya. It seems too harsh a word for a golden hearted girl. She was orphaned at a very early age and yearned for parental love. She found that anchor in Bhabo. She looked at her as a mother she lost. Unfortunately Bhabo did not reciprocate the same sentiment. For her her ego and her son's interest are foremost. She wants Sandhya to be a normal wife. She even finds Meena to be better than Sandhya despite all her faults. She is relatively less harsh with Meena. I agree with you on the point that Sandhya has to stop kowtowing to Bhabo and start turning her attention to her husband. Have a normal relationship with him, share all the joy and happiness with him. The reason SurYa keep secrets from each other and are unable to open up to each other is mainly due to lack of physical relationship. If that is remedied they will definitely grow closer and become much stronger to face the world.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

@sonii. yes a balanced and unjerky reaction with your MIL, in the process unbalance the most important relation in her life that of with her husband. If liq choc comes out Sooraj will be devastated from both ends. his mother's cheating and his wife's lie

I wouldnt have minded if she had discussed it with Sooraj and jointly they took a decision that for the well being of the family it is not worthwhile to pursue her dream.

But keeping Sooraj in dark is unacceptable.

I would like to know if you have a husband like Sooraj and MIL like Bhabo in real life which relationship will you give the utmost importance. Whose feelings will be of the most important to you. Whose trust in you will you never betray. Ask yourself. What will you do.

My answer is my husband, he is the most important to me. His feelings, his respect and his trust is something I will never ever want to lose even if it costs my life.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Thanks Umaji. Yes one point I have to agree with you. for certain emotional things to be discussed between husband and wife an intimate physical proximity is needed. Not exactly romantic, but to get that emotional connect you need it.

I have many times expected it, even under extreme stress Sandhya doesnt make an effort to go physically near Sooraj, which is something that had bugged me from the day I have started watching this serial

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...soniii...

@...soniii...

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Posted: 12 years ago

suraj's Biggest Support and Strength is Bhabo. Their love Bonding is Precious in His Life , she could not make her husband betrayed by revealing fake Love feeding of bhabo. he totally gets shattered with his Love on Bhabo which is his Life , he grewed in that Love , Trust , in her Faith At once it makes him he was cheated by his Mother in his love . Sandhya Being a Wife of him , Never like to him feel he was deceived in the name of Love on his Mother. she is Not deceiving herself yet not worried , because she said many times to her Brother also (during chutki fucntion) she is not intrested to do it when it comes to my Family Happyness. this truth of Bhabo either cant reveal , Being selfless she is deceiving herself . Yet Not worried as she is Principled for her family Happyness , To her , her husband Trust on his Mother is More important than her Dream.

Edited by ...soniii... - 12 years ago

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

no that is where you are wrong. According to the written update I read she says to Sooraj's photo " I know matka is important to you, but Bhabo is mother to me, I cannot pursue the dream because my mother is unhappy"

If it was for Sooraj the words would have been " I know you trust your mother very much, I cannot see you devatated by knowing about her betrayal to me, if my dream continues sometimes more drastic can happen and I will not be able to protect you from the loss of your trust to your mother"

If the confession went something similar to what I have highlighted I am perfectly fine, perfectly understandable, it is still ok, but the first is unacceptable keeping Sooraj in dark.

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thala

@thala

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

i dont agree with you shruthi

how could she share the reason behind the second MP with suraj

we have to wait and i have firm belief that cvs are going to give a block buster epi where in they would bring this LC and then chavi and emily 's mistake all in one ( may be a ME)

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Sonali_11

@Sonali_11

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Sandhya knows Bhabo will never be happy with her studies and IPS dream ,she also knows that Suraj would do every little thing which can help her fulfill it .There would b a rift between Bhabo and Suraj for sure , to avoid that she thought of this sacrifice .
She has a feeling that if Suraj gets to know about the real intention of Bhabo he will be deeply hurt .In a way she isnt being selfish , she'sjust trying to do this for both Bhabo and Suraj's sake.For the sake of Suraj the most as he is the one whose troubled the most wen Bhabo is against him

Edited by Toxic11 - 12 years ago

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Mrs_Ojha

@Mrs_Ojha

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

I may have not noticed that yesterday, but did she actually say there, in front of her parents' photo, that she is doing all of this to protect Suraj from Bhabo's true personality? My impression was that she was talking about Bhabo and that she wants her to be happy. So I don't think that she is thinking about her husband at all.

Even if she is trying to 'protect' Suraj from the truth of Bhabo, what is the logic behind this? I mean, Suraj is not a little boy anymore, but a guy of 30+. Why not discussing with him first what happened and then decide together about what to do? Isn't it because she thinks that she knows best what should be done and what shouldn't be done? In this way Sandy is a little bit blinded by her ego as well. Even if she feels that Suraj is wrong by doing things against his mom, she doesn't really have the right to go secretly against him, as a wife. It is better to sit down and discuss, and if you cannot convince your husband, then sorry, but you must compromise. Not to go secretly against him and tell lies.

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Isnt Sandhya becoming Selfish?

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