AARYA SS - TELL ME I DO... (part 3 pg 4) - Page 4

Caught up with all three parts in one go. Amazing updates so far.Love the way you have written the story thus far. Fab job and looking forward to what is in store next.

awesome update..thanks for the update..

@ saf24 - thank you for choosing to read this story and commenting!

@ yashuaarthi - thank you for reading and wonderfil comment!

@ nan0102 - thank you for still reading this story and your encouragement!

😊nice update
continue soon
pls pm me if possible

Fabulous update. The pond and the ambiance you have created is lovely. What had happened between them that Yash leave her.

Flashback and present is not confusing but if your sister says that you can give flashback in italics.

Great update! I really like your writing but I agree with what your sister had said about the flashback not been too clear, it was hard to figure out when exactly Yashji had gone into flashback mode.

Awesome update

@ roserosey - Thank you for reading and being interested in this story! But I cant PM you unfortunately...I do not PM anyone...But I will update next week so please check next Tuesday ok for the update?

@anshusreeja - Thanks!

This part was so sad - probably because its so real. You touched on multiple issues that occur in daily life: domestic violence, the pretence that everything is fine, the grasping need of immigrants to US as they wait and wait for the elusive "American" dream... 👏 👏

As to your q#2: it was a little confusing for a moment but i caught on. I think the reason it was confusing is because, structurally, there was no gap, no differentiation between past and present. Multiple ways of doing that of course:
1. the obvious one being label the past as "Past" or something like that.
2. Or write the past portions in a different font/style (like italics).
3. Or something like:

"He remembered he was in fourth grade when he discovered Mystic Park...

He was approaching his apartment when he could hear the familiar pleas and cries coming from inside."

Hope that helps.

@kdsubs - thank you so much for the wonderful comments! I like the term you used - "elusive American dream"! I am so sorry that it gets confusing for the flashback part...😔 I greatly appreciate you pointing out the ways I could addreess this confusion..I will try to see which method works when I update the next part - most likely I will ask my sis for her feedback first! And please also point out any other ways I can improve my writing ok...