ArHi FF: Teenage Love#4-Special Upd P1! (30/11/15)

Colour Coding:

For general updates:

Narration: Black

Dialouges: Blue

For Flashbacks:

Narration: Orange

Dialouges: Red

For Diary Enteries:

Arnav: Plum

Khushi: Lavender

"Bhai, I want some." Khushi extended her hand towards Aakash who was giving out the firecrackers, as he grinned at her pointing in a far away corner indicating to her where he had kept reserved boxes of firecrackers for his specially. Saying a quick thankyou, she made a run towards them, nearly tripping on her lehenga once or twice, but since the excitement had gotten the better of her, she did not bother about cursing it either.

Her eyes shone up in delight, seeing the box of firecrackers, as she bent down to pick them up, working her hands around to rip open the box which much to her utter disappointment woudnt budge in anyway that she tried to tear open.

"Here, give it to me." She heard Arnav tell her, as she turned around her lehenga getting the better of her this time, tripping right into what should have been his arms, instead it had turned into something much more awkward with her taking hold of his upper arm tightly and pulling him down to the ground with herself, having landed on his calf while he was sitting in some awkward position, where he was mid way between holding her and not holding her at all. Flustered and extremely bewildered as to what had happened, she inched away from him on whom she was practically sitting, cursing the lehenga and her clumsiness for good now. Nikhil, Vivek now Arnav. She didn't know how many more people she was going to fall on tonight.

Song: Piya Aaye Na

Teri khataa hai mere jiyaa
Un pe bharosa kyuun tune kiya

It's your mistake o my heart,
Why did you believe him..

"Sorry." She said, her palms resting on the lush green grass, scrambling away from him and helping herself get up, most conveniently since he had extended his hand and she knew their was no point in not taking it, she let him help her out to stand. On her feet again, she looked at Arnav for the first time now carefully, dressed in the grey and white sherwani, which for that matter she had seen him clad into for the first time. There was no denying that he looked amazing, hot, and sexy and well what not, or no wait, she shook her head slightly trying to get rid of her crushing thought about him. This was not done, she just couldn't afford to drool on so many guys, it just seemed so vague, well maybe everyone looked good today, not much of her fault, so she let the thought go.

He handed over the box to her now open, as saying a hardly audible thank you she turned around fleeing herself past his existence, the sound of his voice registering in her ears forcing her to stop.

"Hey Khushi. (Khushi turns around apprehensively) I wanted to talk to you, if it's not a problem" He said, for a good one minute stilling her with her words. It was maybe the first time she thought of it correctly, that he wasn't rowdy, he was speaking like a gentle men, like all the other guys did, she didn't know what was more good, him talking to her, or him talking to her like that. She decided to go with the latter, walking towards him, even though every inch of her didn't want to do that, she didn't know what was she doing, maybe this is what they called living in the moment.

Sab jhoothe jhoothe vaade the unke
Chal peechhe peechhe aayaa tu jin ke
Wo piyaa aaye naa
Piyaa aaye na wo piyaa aaye naa

All his promises were false,
following whom you came here..
That beloved didn't come..
Oh that beloved didn't come..

"I guess I have to say something to you too." She said breaking the silence between them, as a flicker of hope passed Arnav's eyes looking at her patiently for her to proceed further but she remained silent, who on the contrary was waiting for him to say something.

"You go first."

"No you."

"Ladies first. Stop arguing." He said impatiently scowling a bit now, her making a shrewd face shaking her head in disappointment to herself. So much for change.

"Everything's that has been happening since the last few days has made things really awkward between us. For which I apologize. I understand that it's my mistake, and we are mature people, even if teenagers, so you know I just wanted to tell you that everything's fine and we are cool." She said solemnly trying to press in a small smile out of her iced lips, every inch of her paining from inside, but she knew this was the right thing to do, a mature step she believed, she couldn't fill her life with anymore hatred, it was just too much for a sixteen year old teenager. It took all of her will power, the collective strong force that had built in her all these years was coming into play, as she held on to her tears examining his expressions changing dynamically.

When he said, that she was the only girl who could render him speechless, he was right. Because that is exactly what was happening to him right now. All of him ached right now, he knew what this meant very well, he had done it so many times now, how could he not know? She had blocked him. Pushed him away from herself, by declaring it on his face that everything was fine. By telling him that everything was okay, when nothing was okay. This is how it had all become, she was shielding herself from him, and there was nothing in this world that he could do about it right now, maybe not ever.

Ab sab hi un khwaabon ki tu dagar chhod de
Ab sab hi un khwaabon ko tu khud hi tod de
Woh piya aaye na

Now you leave the path of all those dreams,
Now break all those dreams yourself..
That beloved didn't come..

"Oh. Okay. I am glad to hear that." He managed in a small voice, all of his boldness everything just vanishing into thin air, her silently nodding at him, and giving a small fleeting smile, she started walking away from him, letting the tears flow, thankful for the darkness that masked this isolated place of the background. She looked up in the sky the firecrackers creating a magical sight for all, everyone cheering, her tears flowing more rapidly, as she sighed to herself, in what was nothing but shame, and grief. Some people never changed, he was what he had always been, the boy who wanted everything his way, she had given him way his, peace, and yet she knew in some way or the other she knew she had waged an internal war within himself by doing this.

He stood there for a few more minutes, engulfing the darkness around him, and the lightening up in the sky, everything seeming so diametrically opposed it almost felt like this was all very unreal. It was amazing how life changed in seconds, he had been there to tell her that he respected her feelings and he wanted some time to figure out his feelings, so when he came to her next he was clear about everything, but right now, anything he said didn't seem worth it. She had already put up her barriers, and it would take a lifetime he knew that, to break them down, he was willing to do that, but how far would he go after that even he did not know.

Khushi, reached the main area where everyone was busy lightening up crackers, all lost in the merry of it, her silently lightening up her own box, tracing the open slits of it that she knew had Arnav written all over them. From the way they were opened, to the way they were left hanging she saw him everywhere in that box. Closing her eyes for a brief second, she bent down to light the cracker, inching away quickly from it, and followed its movement through her eyes, right up to the top, where they burst up into a star of red and orange turning into a shimmering white afterwards and disappearing out of sight., a small flicker of smile lightening up her. She felt a tear droplet flow past her lips, letting her taste its salinity, and she looked up at the sky, the twinkles of the firecracker she had lit up still there, as the smile faded into a grieved terror inside her, memories rushing into her mind.

Catching the lone tear that was rolling down her face on his finger tip, he showed it to her and captivating her attention thoroughly, she saw him eyeing the tear with care and placed it outwards pointing it towards the stars above which were shining bright. It was the direction, and his action that made her realize how beautiful it was, as he let out a gust of air from his mouth and blew the tear towards the stars, looking above at the stars with her following his sight, most magically the star he had blown the tear towards now shining brighter.

From the look on his face, she could tell he had achieved what he had wanted, and after all how could he not; he was Arnav Singh Raizada after all, her Arnav Singh Raizada. She moved one of her hand away from his neck and lifted up her fingers towards his still extended finger, and wound her finger around it catching his attention, being gifted with small graceful smile from him.

"Toota zyada zyada tara jab gira
When many stars broke and started to fell down

Zara zyada zyada maangu dil tera"
I started to wish little bit more and more for your heart

Bringing that union of intertwined fingers towards their main bodies, she kept it between where their hearts lay her lips constantly moving and singing out the song. She let them rest over there in a manner, that her finger was pointing towards his heart and his finger towards her heart. The smile from her face could not flinch or move, when she felt his face inch closer towards her and plant a small loving kiss on her forehead. His face went back to its original position, her eyes shining like pearls in utter delight, as going with the flow of the song the next part of the lyrics sank inside her.

Teri khataa hai mere jiyaa..

Har khataa kee hotee hai koi na koi sazaa
Gham likhe hon kismat mein to ban hee jaatee wajah

For every mistake there is a punishment..
If there are sorrows written in fate, some reason forms..
Now all the sorrows are wound up in tears,
Now all the tears have clung to the eyelids..
That beloved didn't come..

"Khushi are you okay?" She felt a warm hand resting on her shoulder, as she turned around this time taking conscious control of her lehenga, only to find Nikhil looking at her worriedly, his forehead creased with trouble.

"You are crying. What happened?" He said his voice laced with concern, running his eyes wild around her to see if she was burnt or hurt, but then the hurt and pain inside was not something his eye could detect, she was yet not that transparent.

"Do you want me to..do you want to talk?" He offered again, now troubled more with her silence as she looked down at her feet, as she saw the grass shaking silently and turned her head to the opposite direction only to see Arnav caving in to the main place, looking distraught, her eyes unintentionally lingering on him.

"Khushi?" He shook her now with both his hand, Khushi escaping out of her trance and looking at him queasily.

"Nothing. Nothing. I am fine. Promise me something? (Nikhil nods) Don't tell anybody, anybody what happened right now, not even Vivek. Okay? Please." She told him in a soft, broken, pleading tone, as he even though confused beyond limits, his eyes from the corner fixed on Arnav, who seemed to be looking at them now, but he quickly nodded, her giving him a small smile, and disappeared into the room, where people had started going back too.

She quietly took her seat where they all had been sitting before, her face devoid of any expression, Nikhil walking towards her, and sat down on the same table not keeping up much chatter, just observing her changing expressions in silence. It was almost half a hour later that the whole hall was bustling with guests again, everybody busy discussing business affairs, or households affairs, or people like Vivek discussing Vishaka affairs, or Anjali and Aakash setting up stuff they needed for the big plan. Vivek seemed edged about Khushi's untimely silence, and the way Nikhil was eyeing her oddly, and even though every part of him told him to further inquire he understood the fact that she was trying her best to get over the awkwardness of Arnav around, so pestering her right now was the last thing he wanted to do. For about more than fifteen the settlement of people remained the same, not forgetting to mention the shadowy Arnav lingering in the background giving her the creeps even though she had already decided that she was going to keep everything cool between them, but only she knew how hard it was to do that after everything that had happened.

Radha on the dance floor
Radha likes to party
Radha likes to move that sexy Radha body

Panghat pe aake saiyyaan, marode baiyyaan
And everybody blames it on Radha
Chhede hai hamka daiyya, bairi Kanhaiyya
And everybody blames it on Radha
Hoga woh lakhon dil ka chor
Hamka to laage bore
Hua hai aisa baavla jo kehta jaaye

My beloved comes to the well, twists my wrist,
(and everybody blames it on Radha)
He troubles me, that Krishna my enemy,
(and everybody blames it on Radha)
He might be a thief of a thousand hearts,
but I think he's a bore,
what a mad he is that he keeps on saying-

Suddenly the light seem to dim, and in a while the entire hall blared with music from the famous song Radha, sending viral waves of booze throughout the crowd. Vivek and Khushi exchanged glances with each other, Nikhil feeling awkward in between them, but looked at the two of them, and after much convincing, as oodles of teenagers began to pile up on the stage testing their dancing skills, the three joined the crowd much to Khsuhi's uneasiness but once she had gotten the grove of it, maybe even she herself couldn't stop her self from dancing.

Song: Radha

O Radha teri chunri
O Radha tera Chhalla
O Radha teri natkhat nazariya
O Radha tera jhumka
O Radha tera thumka
O peechhe peechhe saari nagariya

O Radha your scarf,
O Radha your ring,
O Radha your naughty sight..
O Radha your ear-rings,
O Radha your jerky dance steps,
The entire town's behind you..

Khushi knew she was dancing, to her hearts content right now, where ever her eyes passed she saw people laughing, sharing the happiness, just being easy, not letting those unlimited grief's in their lives spoil that moment, but somewhere she just knew she wasn't doing the same, and maybe, neither was he. Her eyes ran past the crowd, through the rays of colors around her, finding her gray, finding his gray and when she did, her heart skipped a beat like it did every time she saw him, but this time it was different, it skipped a beat because he was walking towards her, carrying that lop sided smile on his face, and even though she tried to move for the better, she stood their stationary, waiting for him to make her move.

In her heart, in her mind, something deep within told her this was not true, she was dreaming, but the more in love part of her told her that this was happening, and that her life was okay, her life could she be good enough. He was there, Arnav, inches away from grasping her wrist, and when he did, the breathe out of her was knocked out momentarily, as her hand lay ideally on his chest, the other one gripping his bluky reflexive shoulders, her eyes darting from one end of her molten bronze to the other end however she looked away almost too quickly, her anger and frustration getting the better of her.

"Hey Radha Radha kaahe itna guroor bhala" He whispered in his low, husky voice into her ear, stunning her, but she looked away to the other side, his lips drifting just past her ear, something she might have just mistaken for a kiss. Her eyes met his, and instead of drowning in their depth, she cut of her sight, struggling herself free from his grip, but the more she did that, the more she wanted him to hold her tight, so tight that he wouldn't let go of her ever.

"Choro Bhi Nakhrein Yeh Kaise Ada" He removed one of hands from her petite waist, bringing it forward to her chin, moving it up so she was directly looking at him without being fidgety his sexy voice doing complete justice to the lyrics. She narrowed her eyes at him in anger, sighing disapprovingly, and roughly removed his hand away from her chin continuing to look away but now complete lost in him. Much to her utter disappointment he let go of her waist, drawing himself away from her, her entire face turning into an expression that went just downhill, his next move taking her by surprise again. Moving behind her he slid his hand smoothly across her bare waist, resting his chin on her shoulder, while his other arm hanged freely, on her other shoulder as turned her around, mouthing the next set of lyrics into her ear, simultaneously as she was recovering from the shock of this action he winked at the girls around making her gasp in disbelief.

"Tu Ne Kya Socha Aik Tu Hein Mashhoor Yahan?

Lakhun Hain Gopiyan Bhi Hum Pein Fida"

She craned her neck around to face him looking at him sheepishly, as he turned her in clockwise motion to stand before him yet again, holding her wrist, and drawing her away from himself only to majestically occupy the dance floor with the essence of his love.

He spinned her around, the lemonish green hues of colors of her lehenga twirling about in the dimly lit floor they were dancing on, illuminating such radiance from within her, the sight of the onlookers almost fell short of grasping the full extent of the magic they were creating. She continued to spin, as her wrist twisted with his gentle grip on her, her curled hair all over the place, the sound of his voice making her insides die with craving.

"Ho saari hi duniya ye maani hai" He said in his soft, yet husky voice, the whole tune sounding hypnotizing to her as the twirling stopped and she found her self being pulled closer to him. Closer. Much more closer, until she was directly in his arms, his hands on her naked waist, her hand wound around his neck, the embroidery on his sherwani scratching the soft creamy skin of her hand.

"Shuru hum se teri kahaani hai" Her ears registered the sound of the next set of lyrics spoken by him, her eyes being raised up from where they were previously lowered over his chest as she looked up, to meet his eyes, the twinkle in them not fading, the molten bronze eyes digging their way into her soul, and suddenly she felt lost, at a loss of movement and words, but as quickly as the feeling had come, it had been replaced by delusion and horror, as her world turned blurry for a moment, and the next minute she knew, it was not a pair of molten bronze eyes she was staring in but deep dark brown ones.

Khushi stopped dead in her feet finally registering the changes in eye color. It was few seconds later that she realized that it was Nikhil who was standing before her and not Arnav, as she backed away from him a bit the rest of the couples dancing away, her leaving back a perplexed Nikhil alone, running away from the area towards the washroom, letting the tap of cold water run flow, splashing the icy cold water on her face bringing herself out of the reverie.

Ab sabhi gham ashqon mein simat se gaye
Ab sabhi aansoo palkon se lipat se gaye
Woh piya aaye na..

Now all the sorrows are wound up in tears,
Now all the tears have clung to the eyelids..
That beloved didn't come..

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, tears cascading down her cheeks, all of the makeup washing away from her face but she was least bothered about it, it was the contorted lines on the far end of her cheeks, the wrinkles on her foreheads that caught her attention.

"Hmm.You have no idea; I know really well how to handle such people. He's competition and good or bad, I'll live through it, what's his name btw?"

"Arnav Singh Raizada."

"It's alright. (she looked up at him with questioning eyes and he knew what she was worried about), your secret is safe with me, I wont say anything to anyone"

"Subha Hone Na Dein, Saath Khone Na Dein

Aik Doosrein Ko Hum Sonnein Na Dein"

"Main Tera Hero, Haan Hero, Main Tera Hero"

***************************************

"You stayed over last night, did not sleep for me. I don't like to keep favors, so this was the best chance to return that to you, and so I did."

**************************************

"He had to wait for eleven years, but it was only to his advantage in the end, she was closer to him than she had been to anyone else."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Peeta".

************************************

"Gupta I told you, you are different. Wondered why? Because unlike most girls you can shield yourself from everything. You don't need someone to hold your hand or pick you up in their arms, Trust me you are strong, strong enough to hold yourself."

***********************************

"Sometimes. (Khushi's faces falls) But I like your company"

**********************************

"I love him. I love him danmmit!"

*********************************

"It was you stupid. It was you. *pause* I love you."

********************************

"I have. Sad stories make good books."

********************************

"It's not always you who gets to do things to me only."

*******************************

"You don't have to..don't complete it. I don't like..you..that way..like.."

*******************************

"I fell in love with you. I don't know how. I don't know why. I just did. And now I can do nothing about it. Which makes it so much more difficult. (Arnavs expression calms down a bit, and strained marks appear on his face) But there is no part of me, not even a single one that wishes to get you back. Because I don't want you. I don't think I ever will. (her eyes now completely focused on him, boring into them) I regret loving you Arnav. I regret it every single living moment of my life."

*******************************

Her hand fully covered her ears, as she tried to block those words, everything out of her mind, somehow begging it to end the ringing, to end the suffering, but she was no stranger to suffering yet this was so hard, just so freaking hard for her.

"I cant do this..I just cant..Why Raizada..just why?" She mumbled to herself, resting her forehead on the cold marble of the washbasin, cursing her luck for what it was worth. Everyday she woke u she was in this nightmare that she regretted, there was so much she missed so much of him that she wanted, and yet she had nothing just illusions, and it pained so bad, the void in her heart only increased every time she thought about it.

*******************************

Vivek looked around apprehensively, his eyes moving to and fro in search of Khushi only to find her clumsily walking out of the washroom, it clear from her face that she had wiped her make up off, because either she was crying, or oh well, he figured she was just crying. Worried she rushed towards him stopping her in her tracks, and she managed to smile at him his concern for her not wavering.

"Why were you crying?" He asked her pulling her to a side, well aware that both Arnav and Nikhil's stares were fixed on the two of them, but nevertheless he helped her out on to an empty table, thankful that the rest of the people were busy gorging on the luxurious food.

"Not important. I need to ask you something?" She said masking a look of urgency on her face, her voice surprisingly steady even though it held an unmistakable edge to it. Vivek raised his eye brows at her apprehensively, then slowly nodded his head urging her to proceed further.

Sach lagaa thaa jo be-vajah hum ko
wo bharam ho gaya hai
Mod aane the jis fasaane mein

The truth I thought is for no reason,
that has become an illusion..
The story in which there were twists yet to come,
it has ended (abruptly)..

"Right now, I mean earlier, when we were dancing, was I, was I dancing?" She asked him sheepishly feeling foolish in the first to ask that question, but she didn't know who else to ask, he was probably not going to pull her leg for this, and he was her best friend, that were two major reasons why she was here right now, asking him this. Vivek looked at her closely, as if peering into her soul, trying to read her mind, but baffled he backed away, looking at her oddly.

"Erm.You were dancing too. Why?"

"Because, I think I imagined it. I think I was dancing with Arnav. (hiding her face with her palms) I am going crazy..real crazy..I cant..I coudnt have danced with him..not like that..I coudnt" She said to herself, depressingly, increasingly confused by the second, Vivek keeping both of his hands on her shoulder and steadying her, causing her to slowly remove her hands from his face trying to meet his eye.

"You were dancing Chun. With Nikhil. And with Arnav. (Khushi's eye pop out of her sockets looking at him in disbelief) You were dancing with him okay? Relax. Just relax. Your mind is not playing tricks on you were dancing with him." He told her calmly, cringing a bit as he said the words, looking in Arnav's direction for a split second who was still looking at him and then back at Khushi who was crazed out of her mind.

"I was dancing with him, and you let me? Why Vivek? (Vivek cringes again) Wait. Wait. Wait. When I stopped spinning Nikhil was standing in front of me, but initially Raizada made me spin. What in the world?"

"That's because Arnav let go of your hand mid way, and Nikhil picked up his position the moment Arnav walked away. (Khushi looked up in Nikhil's direction and then in Arnav's uneasily) and then you stilled, and marched out of the floor." Vivek ended, now he knew why Khushi did what she had done, he knew why she seemed all over the place, and was doubting the functioning of her mind.

"I feel sick. I need to go home."

************************************************

Khushi jumped into her bed, reaching out to her side drawer and extracted her small black diary from it along with her pen from it, slowly in complete relax fashion sliding her hand across the smooth cover looking at with moist eyes. Opening the diary, she flipped through the pages reading a word here and there, as tears continued to stream down from her face.

I normally have a lot of horrible days but today has to top the list. I met this guy, Raizada guy, Arnav Singh Raizada, I think he's a baboon headed dork face who I would like to punch in the face all the time, but there's something so uncannily mystifying about him, that attracts me to him, I guess I have lost it.

*************************************************

Arnav wrapped himself in the soft brown blanket of his, getting cosy to its soft touch on his freezy cold skin, his hand peeking out of the side of the blanket scrambling aimlessly into the drawer that he kept his diary into. Her words at the Diwali celebration played in his mind, his hand recoiling away from the diary once he had kept it on his lap and it took all of his will power to open the diary, even though he had lost control over not reading what he had been writing in it.

Today I had a horrible day at school the worst one ever, I mean today what has never happened did come to happen; I met her, that new lady in our class Khushi Kumari Gupta. The moment I saw her, I fell so giddy about her seeing her, and you know what, I couldn't look away from her?

*******************************************************

Stilling my movements, like my heart had stopped beating for a second when I was there in his lap, everything seemed to change, in that moment he looked to me like I had known him forever.

And you know diary, just to think, only earlier we were like a calm ocean, and later the two of us here are now on loggerheads, there is such a huge rift between us, its like the gap will never fill up.

*********************************************************

I went to sleep on Raizada's shoulder (OMG! I nearly fainted when I read that) and he kept me on my bed (Okay, I lost my breathe then) that too while watching his favorite show Desperate House wives (I feel like a retard really -_-)!

She seems out of her mind most of the time to me, but she okay to be around with. I think having her around isn't so bad after all.

*********************************************************

But well he didn't know, sometime wouldn't do, it had taken me six years to collect myself, and I still haven't done that fully, well not to blame him, he knew none of that, he kept assuring me and telling me I could share with him, and finally all my barriers snapped, and before I knew I had thrown my arms around and was hugging him tightly. Okay, yea that was a massive hug, like I mean massive when I say 'massive', and the best thing he hugged me back (shocked me)

It broke me, when I saw her that vulnerable. I understand the act completely that even the strongest of them can crumple, but her she told me what happened, she trusts me, she hugged me and it felt good. Really good, I haven't felt do good in a long time, maybe never. I like being trusted I hope this stays.

**********************************************************

He said he likes my company, and he said he doesn't feel weird when he tells me that he cries too, you know I think diary I am terribly falling for this guy now.

She is beautiful diary. Sometimes even breathtaking, but she is beautiful and mystifying. She claims she can read me, but can she really? I don't know that for sure, but I feel safe if she reads it, this is weird but I believe my thoughts are protected with her.

**************************************************

Its hard not to fall for him, he comes close, he comes so close and I cant draw myself apart from him. He doesn't like me calling him from his first name, he was really hurt today you know, I feel sorry.

People who hide stuff or me, I hate them. But my mind and my heart fails to hate her. Somehow, just unknowingly I don't what this is, what is happening to me, but I feel lost in her when she's around, nothing else suddenly matters to me.

***************************************************

The thing is, diary, I have fallen in love. I have completely fallen in love with him, and it's like the best feeling ever. I guess, I haven't been so happy all my life.

I heard her shouting that she loved somebody. I asked her but that wretched Vivek intervened in between, however that's not the point I am curious to know who it is. Could it possible be me?

******************************************************

Wo khatam ho gayaa
Bhoole hum bhoole wo
Kaise sab se kahein baat ye..

it has ended (abruptly)..
I forgot, s/he forgot..
How do I tell everyone..

My world's come crashing before me. Everything seems to end just right here, in front of me, it's all into pieces, there's not much to hold on to accept for a few things.

I broke her, every inch of her seemed to tremble before me, but there is so little in terms of what I think I could have done to make it better. This is beyond my league, I wish, I just wish I didn't have to hurt her like this, but my mind had stopped processing anything rational, it was just a complete breakdown situation for me.

*********************************************

I think of him every day, every single second of my life, if it was possible, I would run away from it and go die in peace, but is dieing really an option?

She's always on my mind. I don't know what though, but she is. I want to see her, I wish there was some way I could make up to her, because the truth is I miss her already.

*************************************************

Tomorrow it's Diwali, and we are going to meet. I really want to see him, and then at the same time not see him, it's really stupid of me I know, but I think that's why they call it falling in love, falling hurts right?

Its Diwali, as so Paa says, and he told me she is coming too. I really want to see her, and tell her that I need some time, because the next time I come to her, I want to say the right things to her the things I won't repent like she told me to. I hope it all goes well and something, even if a little gets back to normal.

**************************************************

As she turned the next page, she stopped, her fingers trembling, a new fresh page opened before her, waiting for her to write. Her pen was fixed on the clean page before her, but her mind was in a whirlpool as a cassette of events of the night played in her mind, causing her close her eyes and letting a few more tears flow.

Dear Diary,

There are moments when you feel like its falling apart, like everything is just a bizzard dream, because you know what? It is. Life is a bizzard dream. Sometimes you can understand but most of the times it is beyond comprehension. Like today dear diary, it was Diwali, my 16^th Diwali, but you know I wish it was my 4^th Diwali. I had so much then, my father, my mother, a happy life, the perfect house, I guess there was not so much to want then. But you know, they say, as you grow you want more, you start to need more to put your desires to rest, but you keep wanting more and more, because nothing is enough. I guess that's the case with me, though technically there isn't so much that I have, things people have and I don't. Like my dad. Maa won't tell me but I can see that blankness in her eyes, because her eyes are searching for him everywhere, a flicker of hope always alive that somehow he is going to come back. But I know it's futile to keep such hopes up, but, I just don't know. I love him. I love my father. I need him. And I want Arnav. See the difference between 'need' and 'want' there? I need Vivek too, and he is always there, for which I am grateful, but life is so short. Everyone keeps dieing, I don't know how long will these people stay with me, if they stay, which is a big if in itself. If there's something that I have learnt from life up till now, that is that people always leave. In the end it's you who comes up and only you who goes down; ALONE.

Her pen stopped moving as she re read her last sentence the intensity of the words hitting her square in her conscience, and without so much as a thought she closed the diary keeping it back inside the drawer, and laid back on the bed, switching off the table lamp, until only she and the darkness were left behind to deal with themselves.

The pen that he extracted from the door with the diary clicked open by one sharp move of his finger, and clearing his head a bit he began to write.

Dear Diary,

I was normal before she came into my life, atleast in my personal definition of normal I was normal but the moment I saw her, she entered like this whirlpool in my life, disturbing everything, and nothing from that moment on wards has been normal. That for one is very disturbing. I hate her for doing that to me. Hate is a very strong word, an extreme word, you and I both know that I am not capable of hating her, but I don't love her either. Or maybe I do. I don't know it hurts to see us like this, the thing we had disappearing into thin air, it really hurts, in..in..my heart. So complicated.

Wishing, Wanting and needing are three words that put me out of my league, and that is what has happened from the day she has come here. I have been wishing for people to be with me, like 'wishing' for her every second of my life. I have been 'wanting' my parents, and Karan, but this isnt the worst of it, I 'need' my siblings more than ever right now and they wont even look at me which is treacherous in itself. Do you know how much it takes to accept the shaking truth, that fact about them. This is hard and all because of one. Her. Khushi. At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in the world. Some are running scared.. some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day.. others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good.. struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls -- and sometimes...all I need is one.

He struggled with himself, waging a war within him to continue writing but he couldn't do more of it, he had had enough for a night, slipping the diary back into the drawer he lay restless on his bed, turning the lamp, letting his world fall into darkness, like it really had.

Ab chalo hum dheere dheere bihal se gaye
Ab chalo hum jaise bhi ho sambhal se gaye
Woh piya aaye na.. wo o.. piya aaye naa..

Now slowly I have become hopeless,
Now howsoever, I have become a bit stable..
That beloved didn't come..

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Regarding The Title

Whirlpool- For me, whirlpool is a this natural disaster that signals mass destruction. Mass turbulence within an individual speaking in metaphoric terms. Here in this chapter, I guess it went really well with the whole situation of the individuals. From the precap it looked fun and full of an upbeat atmosphere but Precaps can be misleading cant they? Who knew so much was going to happen. For Khushi her life has become a living nightmare, after Arnav's rejection, for Arnav who is clawed with guilt, is just as devastated. Vivek on the other hand has been juggling his broken heart with a broken best friend, while new entry Nikhil is a character storing deep secrets within himself.

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Events In The Chapter

I know some of you are thinking how a reconciliation can trigger such extreme feelings, but I'd like to inform to all of you that after a mass destruction a quick reconciliation marks the eventual presence of everything that was before the destruction disappearing into thin air. Its the first alarm, the most dangerous of them which tells in clear signals that all's over, and only a new beginning can get it all back.

So this is a turning point in the story. The reconciliation between the two. The air hasn't cleared mind you, its only become as thick as it used to be between the real Arnav and Khushi in the drama, and this is dangerous because these guys here are teenagers, they love easily, and they forget easily too, so you know.

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Precap

"Its been really long since we sat like this, isnt it?" Arnav sat breaking the silence between the two as Khushi craned her neck sideways to look at him, seeing him fidgeting with his fingers, twisting and turning them doing absolutely senseless stuff to them.

"Yeah. I wish it would rain." She said calmly, him stilling his movement to divert his attention to her, looking at in bafflement.

"Huh what? Rain? Why?"

"When it rains, you cry and nobody can see your tears. That's the biggest advantage of rain, it hides your tears like nothing else ever can" She said solenmly, looking down at her thighs not being able to look at his wary face. It was as if God had been around when she had been wishing that she felt a droplet of water fall on her nose, and she looked up in surprise at the dark sky above, pouring out rain. Her eyes shifted from the sky to him, and he smiled quietly to him, his eyes holding a sad twinkle to them.

"Cry. The rain is here."

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