This OS is a bit my wishful thinking after a very sad Friday. Here it goes:
Kumud was getting ready to go for her educational tour with her students. The heart was just not there but she had to fulfill her professional commitment. Mechanically her hands were packing up; while her entire being eroded by the tsunami of emotions she was going through.
How can she ever forget her unforgivable mistake she has dared to commit and which came every now and then to strike her hard across the face - betrayal to her parents.
Her... confessions to her mother - I lost control maa, I forgot my maryaada, I can no longer face you and dad and... her mom telling her - erase this story right away from your face kumud, nobody should read it after me...not even your father.
She shut her eyes in an attempt to block these haunting memories from dancing in front of her eyes but in vain. She cried her heart out and said to herself: Mom is right, I need to forget everything. Mein baapu ko dukhi nahin dekh sakoungi.
She sighed and told herself that may be this outing will help her to see clearer and calm her nerves and may be...she will be able to face him again.
- Will you let me fulfill some of my adhoore ehsaas Kumud? I wanted to tell you that you are beautiful. Do you know what it means to garland each other on this special night? We have turned husband and wife. I love you Kumud.
Saras!! Her Saraswatichandra!!
She wiped the tears running down her cheeks, took her bag and headed to the bus stop after bidding her family.
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Saras came home late and freshened up and was moving to the kitchen for dinner when he overheard Dugbaa and Guniyal conversation. Dugbaa was asking if Kumud had phoned to say if she had reached her destination safely. His throat constricted and suddenly he was not hungry but nauseous. He felt like he was lacking oxygen. He rushed from there and locked himself in his bedroom. He needed to be alone to calm himself and he didn't want Sunny to intrude.
Kumud has gone for the outing without even informing him or meeting him!! His blood iced in his veins thinking of Kumud going away from him. His heart was racing and aching as if it would stop anytime. He would crumble down if ever he loses her. He has lost his dear mom once but Kumud, he won't be able to...
He dropped himself in the bed and took his head in both his hands and let himself go, crying his heart out, releasing all the anguish that has built up inside after realizing that the most beautiful moment of his life was the reason of Kumud's deepest sorrow and despair.
- Don't come near me. I don't want to commit anymore sin.
God it hurts!! It really hurts to think that the girl who has made him live again, who has encouraged him to dream and with whom he so wanted... and still wants to spend his life with and the one whom he has promised to give unlimited happiness, was now so hurt and depressed.
Hasn't he not promised Kumud's father just two days ago that he would keep her very very very happy? This promise he would like to abide to till his last breath. No, he would not give up. When it comes to Kumud, he would give it his best shot and with this in mind he went to kumari to ask for the address where Kumud was having her educational outing, As soon as it is dawn he is leaving to meet her, he decided.
It was time for them to have a heart to heart conversation.
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When Saras reached the location, his eyes started searching for her and...she was just right there, some yards away in front of him, explaining to her students something. He approached her and called her name. It was just a whisper, as if the wind was blowing his name in her ears but she immediately turned around. Their eyes met and they looked at each other for sometimes without uttering a single word. Finally...
- Kumud!!
- What are you doing here?
- I need to talk to you Kumud.
Kumud turned to her students and asked them to move to another group and immediately went with Saras to a quieter place.
- Why are you here?
- I told you I needed to talk to you?
- What's there to talk now? I told you to stay away from me.
Saras covered the distance between them and grabbed her arm. Kumud tried to free herself but he didn't let go and Kumud had no choice but to calm down. His eyes had the same pain she used to see earlier and his voice was...
- Kumud! I cant stay away from you. I'd rather die. I can't see you like this Kumud. I am sorry. Not for what happened between us. I don't regret anything. It was the most beautiful moment in my life and I can live a lifetime with its memories.
Kumud's eyes teared up but she kept looking at him as he continued.
- But I am sorry for giving you so much sorrow. I am dying inside thinking that you regret everything and consider our most precious moment as a sin. For me you are still the same Kumud who I love with all my heart and with whom I want to live and spent my life with. Whatever happened between us has only strengthened the bond we share. He released his grip... His words were sipping in...
His face was distorted with pain but still he was talking as gently as possible to her. She was listening to him after much struggle...He asked weighing his words cautiously
- Kumud do you really want me to stay away from you?
Kumud sobbed and threw herself in his arms. He didn't wait and took her in his arms tightening his grip around her. In between sobs kumud spoke her heart out while he listened without interrupting her.
- I am so ashamed of myself. Mein pyaar mein itna kho gayi ke maine apne maa baapu ka vyswaas tor diya. (I was so lost in love that I betrayed my parents' trust) I have insulted their upbringing and love,They have been there for me. Always. N I didn't think of them and I got carried away.
She looked up in Saras' eyes: I am feeling guilty, I don't have any regret about what happened between us...I can live a lifetime too cherishing that moment but... the daughter in me kept haunting me that I have wronged my parents. Mein kya karoon?? I can't ignore this!!
He shushed her and cupped her face and leaned his forehead to hers and sighed in relief. The day she said it was a sin was like a death sentence for him but after the dam of restraint broke, he now understood what it was all about. It was a daughter's guilt that was consuming her. He understood and he would reassure her so he asked lovingly:
- I love you Kumud. Do you trust me?
- More than I trust myself.
- Then don't worry. I WILL MAKE things right. But please never leave me like this. I cannot live without you. I will die...
She stopped him by putting her fingers on his lips and...hugged him. He hugged her back and looked up in the sky. Thank you God and...mom for being there always!! I will make things right. I can't lose her.
Veer Hanuman
Kumkum Bhagya
