A short note before you read this. If you're of the opinion that Asad is right, don't read this. It'll just make you think negatively. If like me, you wanna murder Asad, go ahead! 😆
A Silent Storm
"But Doctor, I saw her talking to you about two minutes ago!" Zoya gasped in shock, as the doctor refused to allow them inside.
"I'm sorry. You must have been mistaken." Came the calm reply.
"No I wasn't!" Zoya replied incredulously. "I saw her talking to you without any problem! And she's supposed to have a phobia of doctors."
"Miss Farooqi. Stop creating a scene and just let the doctor do what she wants."
"But Mr Khan-" She was rudely interrupted when he put his hand up for silence and shut the door behind them. They both walked away from the ward, and got to the entrance of the hospital, before Zoya tried again. "Mr Khan, trust me! I saw her talking to the doctor from the window! Please will you listen to me just once?"
"What, Zoya?!" He turned on his heel and looked at her, eyes blazing in anger. Zoya felt her heart drop to her guts when she realized he didn't believe her. Surprise there. Did he ever believe her? "She probably wouldn't be unconscious right now if you had given me the shawl I asked for!"
"But she isn't unconscious!" She answered back, her eyes glued directly to his, pleading for him to believe her. "She was talking to the doctor! If she has a phobia how was she-"
"Enough Miss Farooqi! I'm sick and tired of making excuses for your behaviour!" Zoya's eyes widened as the words struck somewhere in her stomach. "Are you trying to tell me Tanveer is lying? Or the doctor is lying? How about everyone else in the world is lying and you are the only one speaking the truth?" His voice raised, as Zoya angled her face away and prepared for the worst, like she knew it would be coming. "Should I believe that, Miss Farooqi? Tanveer has a phobia of doctors! She cannot have been talking to one! Firstly, the poor girl is lying in the hospital, burnt a lot more than she would have been if you'd listened to me! And secondly, you're saying that she doesn't have a phobia of doctors? That insensitiveness was what you portrayed the other day as well! How do you know so much about being phobic anyway?"
"She knows because she has a phobia of fire, Asad." Zeenat said from behind, glaring at him. Zoya's head shot up in surprise, as she felt her cheeks and neck heat up. Asad turned around at the voice and found Zoya's Aapi with a disappointed but furious look on her face. "I heard you accusing her that time and thought I'd clear it out for you. Ever since she was a child she's never gone anywhere near fire. When she was a kid she was burnt horrendously, the marks can still be seen on her arm. She just had a near death experience a few hours back and then the fire right in front of her was probably not the best thing to go to!"
Zoya was pyrophobic? Yes! He remembered the conversation with her! How could he have forgotten that at such a crucial time and blamed her for everything? Asad looked back at Zoya, but found her head bowed, tears trailing down her cheeks. They were attracting a lot of attention no doubt from others around the hospital. Even nurses had forgotten their duties and were peeping out of room windows and craning their necks to see why a few of their patients' family members had gathered around the entrance of the hospital and where the loud voices were coming from. Asad felt something pierce through himself. His eyes filled up, but he blinked the water back, and took a step towards Zoya. Her words rang in his mind,
When you insult me, you insult me in front of everyone. But when you apologize, you do it quietly.
He'd almost done some kind of blasphemy by shouting at her about Tanveer. He loved her didn't he? Yes! His heart screamed! Then what could he do to make it up? How could he prove he's really sorry for the way he acted? He took another small step towards her and raised his hand slowly, ever so slowly, to her cheeks. But before he could touch her, she took a big step backwards. The silent rejection felt like a slap in his face. Only, the wound became that much deeper inside his chest.
He saw her lift her head and gasped inwardly when his eyes met hers. Yes they were wet. Her lashes had a drop of water on them which, once heavy with emotions, dropped into her tender cheek. But apart from that, her beautiful brown orbs held fire. Fire of injustice, fire of betrayal, and finally, dare he think it, fire of complete and utter loathing. Her jaws were clenched as though she was trying to stop herself from saying a word, however everything was pouring out of her gaze. Fury was drowned in it, as she refused to let it wonder from his. This was the first time he had seen such emotions play on her face. The first time she was nearly shaking from the intense anger that had consumed her. He knew she would lash out. Yet, he also knew he had to apologize. And any harsh words or physical abuse were all welcome.
He opened his mouth.
"I'm-"
But this time, she was the one who cut him off with a dangerous, deadly ring in her words.
"Don't." He stared at her, her voice cutting deep through him. This was the first time she had taken such a tone with him. "Don't. You. Dare. Apologise."
Blood rushed to her face, colouring her cheeks red with rage. He forced his vision to tear away from hers, and as he did so, he noticed his Mum and Najma standing near the crowd, watching with the scene unfold before them with a scandalised expression on their face.
"I'm sick of this." Zoya went on, needing to get it out of her system, humiliation of being insulted in front of her Aapi and everyone present evident on her face. "I'm tired of having to prove myself to you every single time, Mr Khan!" Her voice was gaining momentum as she spilt out all her bottled anger. "I'm tired of going to the ends of the world to make you like me a bit better! I'm tired of silently taking all your blames, everything, and then proving you wrong. I'm tired of you still blaming me over and over again for every small thing that goes wrong in your life! Seriously, Mr Khan. I am human! It hurts! Whatever you say, even if you don't think before saying it, hurts me!" Her voice choked up, but she continued, "It kills me when you don't trust me! You didn't listen to me the day I went to Ayaan's house. You didn't listen to me the day the blood samples got changed." She glanced around trying to think of other times. "When I was trying to tell you about Akram, you never listened to me then! When I kept telling you I didn't call Mariam back, you never bothered to believe me! I'm fed up of explaining myself to you Mr Khan!"
Her last words shot through his heart, and his gaze, that was stuck to the floor lifted to see her in her most vulnerable, but determined state.
"I don't know who's trying to kill Tanveer, Mr Khan. But if it were up to you, I'd be the culprit wouldn't I? If I told you I had some suspicion behind all this, you'd never believe me! If Tanveer on the other hand told you this, you'd believe her without doubt!" Her eyes flashed once more. "Tell me one thing, when I told you I saw Tanveer talking to the doctor a few minutes back, did you honestly believe me?"
Asad's felt a lump in his throat and directed his vision to her floor, where people would not see his eyes shining with unshed tears.
"You didn't did you?" She smiled sarcastically, tears not stopping. Her voice raised with each syllable, portraying her hurt and frustration at him. "If she understands you so much, if she's always the right one, if she's the one you trust and love so much, then why the hell don't you marry HER?!"
At those words, Asad literally felt his heart churn and bleed inside his ribs. Surely, this wasn't real? How was he still standing? How was he still breathing? But Zoya wasn't finished.
"This fake marriage between us, built on lies just so that Phoopi's health wouldn't be affected, why didn't you just tell her you love Tanveer instead? You'd get married to her and at least I wouldn't have to put up with this farce!"
Farce. The word echoed in his head. That was what it had been hadn't it, initially? But why, even at that time, did everything feel so real? Why had it felt real? Real and beautiful?
By having you, I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world
His own words came back to him. When he'd said that, why had he actually meant it? Was it possible, that he'd been in love with her all this time? And she'd just accused him of loving Tanveer? Her words scarred him, but he had to make it clear to her. That he'd never loved Tanveer! Tanveer wasn't the one who kept him awake at nights! She wasn't the first person he thought about in the mornings. He'd never been mesmerized by her, no matter how good she looked. It had all been Zoya for him. From the beginning itself.
A sob from her brought him back.
"Listen-" he began, but was shut up the next instant.
"No! You never listen to me do you? Why should I?"
He shut his eyes in pain as he recalled every single time she'd tried telling him something but he'd turned a deaf ear. When she hadn't called Mariam back, when she hadn't known he was allergic to peanuts, when she'd tried to justify herself for going to Ayaan's house, the blood sample. Everything came rushing back to him.
"I was told.." her voice had gone quiet. "I was told that you love me." She wiped the tears from her eyes then gave a sarcastic laugh. "But now I realize, how is that possible? How can you love someone whom you don't trust? You've never trusted me. Not once. You know what else I also realized?" She question rolling her eyes. "I've fallen in love with a guy who doesn't.. forget trust, respect me even. And I really have no clue for how long I've been feeling this way. Maybe that's why I've been silent all along. Maybe that's why I've been putting up with all the shit you've thrown my way all this time." Self disgust laced her bitter tone. "Not anymore. I'm done being stupid, Mr Khan. I'm done being nice and losing my self respect in the process. I'm done giving you the benefit of the doubt for everything whereas you've never given me the same. Not once. Frankly," She concluded, with a deep breath, making sure to tear his heart to shreds, like he had repeatedly done all along, "I'm done with you."
He could hear something shatter to pieces inside himself. The dam that he'd built all along finally broke causing a tear to fall out and drop onto the polished, gleaming surface beneath him.
"Phoopi. I'm so sorry." Zoya whispered, as she finally took her surroundings and noticed the attention she'd attracted. "Najma please forgive me." All three women were crying silently and Zoya looked once more at the woman who had given her the love of a mother and the one who'd been equivalent of a younger sister. "I'm so sorry we had to lie."
"No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doing the drama I did. And pushing you into marrying my son, who.." Dilshaad looked at Asad, who stood ashamed of himself, head hanging down. "Who's not worthy of you."
Zoya shook her head slightly and hugged Dilshaad, pulling Najma towards her. She finally split apart, letting her Phoopi kiss her forehead once and walked towards her Aapi, who immediately understood that Zoya needed to get out of that place. Enough was enough. Just as the duo took a few steps away, they heard her name coming from the one person they'd given up from.
"Zoya." The action wrenched Zoya's heart out and she stopped, squeezing her eyes shut so that more tears fell down her face. "Don't leave me." But she did not turn back. She was about to continue moving forward when a whisper, that conveyed how damaged he was, rang through her ears. "Please stay."
At that instance, she wanted to run back to him. Hug him and promise him she'd never let go. But how could she do that? Wasn't this the reason he'd kept taking her for granted all along? Because he knew she'd come back? Carefully, she turned around to see him in his most vulnerable state, his eyes red with tears and self loathe. Shutting her own, she gathered all her courage and opened her mouth one final time.
"I won't. Because you're not fit to be my husband. Not just mine, anyone's husband!" Anger flashed through her veins as she recalled his cruel words that had not left her to this day. His eyes widened slightly then closed as her words cut deep into his soul. "Hearing this from someone you care about? Hurts? Doesn't it?" With these final words, she rotated once more and walked off, without sparing him a single glance.
He'd gone too far. One step too far. One step where she couldn't follow him and keep up. And now, it hit him. That one step was the step that had caused him to lose someone who had always been there for him, ever since she'd entered his life! He'd pushed her to breaking point. And break she did. But away from him, so far that she'd probably never come back. He'd taken her for granted all along and had never mustered enough courage to tell her what was in his heart. And even if he did, there was no way he'd proved it.
The hollow feeling, the void that Zoya had once filled and eradicated within him was back. This time, worse. Because the only person he had to blame, was himself. Just like a hurricane, she'd entered his life, and like a silent storm, swooped out without looking back even once.
Yes, it hurt.
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It's an OS. So I'm not continuing this unless Asad redeems himself. I'm strongly of the opinion that once Asad realizes he's losing Zoya, he'll backtrack. Up until then, he's going to take her for granted.
Please do leave your review. All my bottled up anger on Asad was thrown out in this OS😆
Love,
Sanaa
Bigg Boss 19
