Are traditions and culture more imp than

human beings and their emotions .

I was alarmed to see that there are so many people in the world who still descriminate and judge people based on their caste , traditions and culture .

I mean a year back my FIL passed away and I was shocked that as per our tradition , she wasnt supposed to go to a temple for a year, she cant offer kumkums to other married women as she is no longer suhaagan , all these things made me sick . I was like let her do what she wants to do and dont stop her from going to the temple which is the only place at that time where she would get some solace and peace . The worst part is that she allows herself to be treated like that bcoz she feels its part of our tradition . I dont blame her , she has been brought up in those times where all these were taught and put in the mind.

Do we really need to follow a tradition where human beings and emotions are not given any significance .

Another thing, in temples, girls are not allowed to enter temples during periods (as far as i know most of the south indian temples ) and I was like why not , isnt it God and nature who gave women this wonderful boon to give birth and if yes then how in the world does one become unpurified if they get their periods and why shouldn't they go to the temple in those times.Morever in some homes , they have to sit outside or not get involved in any house activity during their periods as she wasnt pure and there are people who still follow that . How in the world does one become unpurified when she is having her periods which god and nature themselves granted us .

who made the rules , I am sure God didnt , it was the common man who made the rules (no one knows on what basis and why) , yet there are so many who still do and follow the things in the name of tradition and culture and norms of our religion.I can understand celebrating all the wonderful festivals and following the traditions and customs in that as it only spreads hapiness and peace but what use is a tradition or a custom which only brings suffering to a fellow human being.

I mean do we really need horoscopes to determine and judge people , do we need caste and religion to tell us whom we should associate oursleves with orbe friends with , arent good character and nature determine that .Why do we still follow them , ok horoscopes give parent a sense of security , I understand that but still is it right is the question .

we do so many wrong things in the name of tradition and culture and then blame the western world for being cultureless , I get really pissed off when I hear them ridicule the western world when we perform so many atrocities in the name of traditions and customs .

There are so many instances where we disregard human emotions and feelings and suffocate them in the name of traditions and culture . I want to know , isnt respecting and treating all human beings as equal more important than traditions and culture and if yes then why are we still following it

ya... 😡 😡 😡 i hate these customs..it really is senseless of not going to temple during this time,tht time.and i believe each n every person will agree to your post...but its the tradition carrying on...so we have to decide...whther we want to follow.i choose not to follow wht i dont believe.

Yes Tina! I agree. All these traditions you mentioned above mock at the great teachings our religion truly has to offer. Instead of making life easier, peaceful and enjoyable, they seem to hamper it.

The sad thing is that perhaps certain traditions started on a positive note and go miscontrued to become disgusting! Not allowing women in public places / kitchen during their period, was perhaps to ensure-
1) that they avoided unforseen embarrassment (there were no napkins and tampons back then!),
2) that they got enough rest, instead of cooking in that old-fashioned kitchen!!!
We should have left those traditions to the era those originated / atleast not misinterpreted them!

I always complain that our so-called traditions are over-rated and need severe amendments.

subhagya

yeah traditions and cultures are more important than human beings and emotions and feelings !

i'm a hindu and in love with a muslim.... but apparently thats a crime in my samaj !

Originally posted by: ~priya~

yeah traditions and cultures are more important than human beings and emotions and feelings !

i'm a hindu and in love with a muslim.... but apparently thats a crime in my samaj !

Not that I am trying to make you feel any better!
I am hindu and my husband's family take huge pride in calling themselves aryasamaji (supposedly not idol worshippers and living by the vedas 🤢 ). can you believe that I had to elope because i refused to follow "Dowry "Traditions? Hindu-hindu tie up also isn't easy when Crappy traditions raise their ugly head!
idol worship is crime but dowry is the right thing to practise??

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Not that I am trying to make you feel any better!
I am hindu and my husband's family take huge pride in calling themselves aryasamaji (supposedly not idol worshippers and living by the vedas 🤢 ). can you believe that I had to elope because i refused to follow "Dowry "Traditions? Hindu-hindu tie up also isn't easy when Crappy traditions raise their ugly head!
idol worship is crime but dowry is the right thing to practise??

wow , mermaid I never knew this side of urs, U actually eloped to protest against these practices , wow

I really appreciate ur guts yaar , too good

thnx tina.. every time somebody overly glorifies certain indian traditions and culture, i almost go bonkers, why? hehehe.

Tina, as I had mentioned somewhere our religion is outdated and it is time that we change according to time. How can we argue that our religion is peaceful and welcoming if it still glorifies discrimination? Many customs and traditions were created for the convenience of the people who lived in those times. In present times many things like you mentioned doesn't hold true but still people follow it blindly because some religious books says so.

1. The practice of women wearing white and tonsuring her head after becoming widow was done in those days to make women unattractive and lose interest in life because they didn't have much to do then other than tending to their husband. The time has changed and it is sad to know that some people are still following that outdated tradition.
2. AS QT mentioned separate rooms for women during periods was to avoid embarrassment and it was also considered unhygienic. They were not allowed to go to temples because of the same reason.
3. Anyone remember the huge debate over women in Sabarimala. In those days the whole area was forest with many wild animals so women were not allowed as it would take more than a month to reach the actual temple. Now there are roads and it takes only half a day to reach the temple but still women are not allowed and they cite a lame reason for the same.

We can go on and on about our outdated traditions. We may not be able to change people from that generation but we can instill the good values in our children and try to make a change.

Good Topic, Tina. My father is Aryasamaji and our whole do Hawans and we still go to mandir. My dad never went to any temple in his life. But we always thinks its his choice and if we want to go, its our choice but he never likes us going to Vaishno Devi or Chintpurni Mata. I don't think any relion teaches you anything bad. Depends how you are taking it. You are comparing our tradition to Western based on Woman's monthly problem. Restriction was made originally from CLEANLINESS puposes. In our Vedas and Purans woman is not considered clean for three days. In olden days, we used to offer every meal to our GOD(BHOGAM) before we serve the family thats why woman was not allowed to cook in the kitchen for three days especially when people were living in joint families and their were more than one woman in the house. But in modern days, there is only one woman in the household and she has no luxury of staying away from the kitchen( I would actually prefer to stay away from kitch for three days).
I myself don't do Pooja and Bhog for three days, unless my kids can do it for me. Even in Durga Stuti it says: "Ashudh avastha mein na kariyo". Daily bath in the morning was must in olden days and we are so used to that for generations and generations. My kids from the day they are out from the Hospital, I gave them bath in the morning and they just follow the same routine( Its a routine not a rule). Samething restrictions in periond days consider it as a routine not a restriction, you will not feel bad.
Other things are Inter cast Marriage, Inter reliogion marriage etc. they are long issues and they all depends on individual family. There is not a set rule and there will not be a set rule on traditions and culture. People do bend the rules for their convenience and I think it is ok.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Not that I am trying to make you feel any better!
I am hindu and my husband's family take huge pride in calling themselves aryasamaji (supposedly not idol worshippers and living by the vedas 🤢 ). can you believe that I had to elope because i refused to follow "Dowry "Traditions? Hindu-hindu tie up also isn't easy when Crappy traditions raise their ugly head!
idol worship is crime but dowry is the right thing to practise??

Well, I got married over the phone although my husband and I were about 20 feet away from each other (albeit in different rooms), simply because men and women are not allowed to mix during the nikaah in this part of the world. I couldn't believe my ears when I was called to the phone and asked if I agreed to marry "this man" and that too three times (seriously folks, I am not making this up!). What was even funnier was that my dad was asked to hold my husband's hand during the ceremony. Apparently, this is the Arab tradition. My husband still contends whether we are legally married! In India, men and women are seated seperately (most of the times), but the qazi personally asks the bride. Also, here the dowry system is reverse - a lot of women are unmarried because their fathers will not accept a proposal unless the prospective groom can take care of the entire expenditure of the wedding and pay a hefty dowry (yes, the men pay it!) apart from having his own house, a good job etc etc. The govt. has something called a marriage fund to give loans to men to get married.

It isn't just Indian traditions - the virus is widespread! It's up to us to fight it.