Chapter 19: Moisturizers and death of a dream
"Your skin is dirty, dry, has pores, blackheads and other unmentionables," a sleek forty year old woman noted pulling Khushi's cheeks several times. The questioning or interrogation as Khushi thought irritably had been going on for past twenty minutes and the end was nowhere in sight. Khushi gave the woman a blank look and swallowed a sarcastic retort seeing Lavanya bringing her palms together and begging her not to say a thing. Payal was hiding her face behind a magazine but her shoulders shook slightly stating that she was laughing soundlessly. "It's going to be a challenge but you are lucky; I love challenges," the woman said running her hands over Khushi's face.
Lavanya had planned a lazy day for the three of them which involved pampering skin, eating sinfully high calorie food and boosting self-esteem. The three of them had decided to give running emotions and tonnage of feelings a rest for one day and just be themselves for a while.
"When was the last time you had a facial?" The woman was even making notes.
"About seven years ago," Khushi replied. The scratching on paper stopped and the woman, Diana, was looking at her as if she had discovered a new species.
"And when did you last use any hydrating agent like lotions or creams to keep your skin supple and healthy?" The questioning was back.
Khushi scratched her head trying to think. She did use moisturizers when she worked but the heat would get so bad that her skin would get either dry or too oily to maintain. She stopped caring about it after a while.
"I see." Diana said primly and muttered something unintelligible under her breath when Khushi didn't respond. "There are certain things called as moisturizers available in market. I will write that word for you after I am done with you here and even give you one to take home. Okay?" Diana said patronizingly.
Khushi opened and closed her mouth like a fish but resisted saying anything. After five minutes of thinly veiled insults, Diana left to fetch her "crew" to "fix" her.
"Don't take her seriously Khushi," Lavanya said sighing as she dipped her feet into a bowl of warm water. Khushi's eyes stayed on that water bowl and an unreadable look resided on her face. Not hearing any response, Lavanya turned to look at her friend staring her feet. "Khushi?" She called out breaking her from a reverie.
"I am sorry, what were you saying La?" Khushi asked.
"I was saying...never mind that. You seem to be a bit off all of a sudden," Lavanya asked noting how Khushi's eyes darted back and forth from her feet to her face.
"It's nothing'sorry'just remembered something." Khushi said softly. Looking at Lavanya's expecting face, she decided to tell her. "I have seen people about to kill each other for that much quantity of water," she said looking intently at the bowl of water placed in front of her feet. "I am having a hard time adjusting to a life of which people back there considered as luxury."
"Like this bowl of water?" Payal asked pointing to it. Khushi nodded. Taking a deep breath, she dipped her feet into water and turned to look at Payal who was observing her closely.
"It does feel nice," she said smiling, her voice hollow.
"Why did you go to Africa of all the places?" Lavanya asked. "As far as I remember, you hated too much of sunshine and preferred to be out either before or after sunset unlike Arnav who basked in sunlight."
Khushi didn't speak for several moments. "I guess I was running away from myself too. Maybe that's why I went to a place where I wouldn't have ever gone voluntarily - especially to live there for a long duration."
"It's strange, you know?" Lavanya said closing her eyes as an assistant placed slices of cucumber on her closed eyelids. "You say you were running away from yourself while Arnav was subconsciously running to you."
"What do you mean?" Khushi's voice was barely above whisper.
"You both did the things the other liked for different reasons. Arnav felt closer to you while you felt alienated with yourself. Strange juxtaposition if you ask me." Lavanya said hoping that her emotions were away from her voice. Talking about Arnav around Khushi made it difficult for her but she didn't show it. "You both loved each other and rarely had any misunderstanding. It makes me wonder if the reasons behind your relationship, individual perspective I mean, were completely different."
Khushi was quiet for several minutes.
"You used past tense." Khushi said softly.
"I am sorry?" Lavanya strained to hear what she was on about.
"You said Arnav and I 'loved' each other." She replied her tone inexpressive. "I don't know about him but I am still in love with him." Khushi declared. Lavanya sat up in her chair and opened her eyes, cucumber falling down on floor unceremoniously and exchanged a weary look with Payal.
There was a sudden ease in Khushi's voice as if her declaration wasn't unsurprising. "I never stopped you know, loving him, that is. It was simply...not possible and unthinkable even. I thought I would ease out of it after being separated from him for so many years. But the day I saw him, I still felt the same joy as before. I am not saying that it's impossible to live without him because I know I can and already have. But I do know that it is impossible to live without the possibility of living without his memories and a dream of being together again."
Payal stifled a sob and closed her eyes shut as memories of Dev hit her hard listening to Khushi's words. What Khushi had said was bang on and all she had left was memories. Even the hope and dream of being together in a distant future was snatched away from her. Khushi was lucky in that regard.
If not anything, at least Khushi had the hope of a distant dream.
Next Chapter: Interlude [II] - Meet the parents
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