Posted:
...Judaai na thi...
"Wo humsafar tha , magar usse humnawaai na thi,
Ke dhoopp chhaaon ka aalam rahaa, judaai na thi."
For me, the whole song and these above mentioned lines define AsYa and their journey.
Lets go by situations of AsYa today and how they are at this crossroad of their relationship.
1. Zoe comes to comfort Asad with coffee and a raddii-chhaap couplet.
If Asad's strength of denial mode shocks you as far as Zoe is concerned, then, Zoe's complete oblivion to her own pumping heart for Asad is even worse. Asad shuts down people, then, he shuts down pain and then, he sits all alone in his darkness, the fire burning within him but never leaping out. Yet, Zoe, sought him out - she found him with the EXCUSE of a coffee mug and a couplet. Asad is sad , disturbed, isolated. So, just why shouldn't have Zoe come running to him? She did. What brought her to him at that hour of the night , she doesn't know. But Jahaan panah was not smiling and not bellowing 'Miss. Farooqui' , so how could Zoe go to sleep?
She tried to cast a spell of her vibrancy and joy on Asad , telling him that no matter how sad life is, you gotta look stunning to deal with it. Did the spell on Asad happen? 50-50. Asad almost had a smile on his face and the way his eyes became fixed on Zoe, she was zapped by the intensity. And she had to look away to escape his eyes. Even if for a few seconds, Asad ko sacch mein Zoe pe pyaar aaya. Of course, the Razia inspired fire ruined it and replaced the ishqaa with 'ajeeb ladki'.
2. Asad observes Zoe's horror at the night mare and comforts her.
It had registered with Asad that the fire had scared Zoe but it did not him until he saw Zoe , all shaky and horrified , being comforted by Dilshie and Tamaatar. Did he say anything to comfort her? No. Did he rush to the bedside to embrace her and be a hero to her? No. But... he came back with a mug of excuse... sorry, a mug of coffee and delivered Zoe's lines about life's dimensions and our need to smile back to her.
Zoe has no idea that why she went " Aapko pataa hai Mr.Khan" with Asad and told him her deepest fears, her history, her loneliness and her trauma. It was like, she had just waited for Asad to come , sit next to her and ask her what is wrong? She needed to let out what injured her so much and he heard her...with a face jolted with her pain, glassy eyed in her sorrow, and a tear that rolled down his eye for his Miss. Farooqui.
Yes, Asad had no long words of sympathy to say nor did he give her any physical comfort. He was filled with emotion for her but his emotional plug of EXPRESSION refused to switch on. Zoe didn't see it because she was revisiting her trauma but the way Asad listened to her and looked at her, nobody will ever do it again.
Zoe needed a hug from him, a hand on her shoulder , a pat at the back of her head, but all that Asad could give her was a heart that cried with her. And Zoe? Without even trying this time. Asad broke her heart all over again.
3. Zoe's emotionally furious lashing at Asad.
Asad's power to cause injuries to Zoe ( and no, am not talking about the slap or the manhandling ) is clearly visible when Zoe lets her anger , her bleeding heart show the next morning. She is cold and cranky with Asad at the breakfast table and uses Tamaatar as the medium to converse with Asad and deliberately clinks the crockery with her fork and knife. When she goes to his room to deliver the message , and she sees that Asad is back to his winter mode , that turns the cold anger into a lash of emotional fury.
And so deep was the emotional fury that the usually flawless speaker messed up her words. Hot tears stinging , aggressive body language ( poori situation thi ki Asad ko ek thappad pad jaata ) and her dismissal of Asad as a FEELING human-being. That was Zoe today in Asad's room. How could you just walk out on me like that? I shared my life's secret with you and you flew away? Emotionally challenged !
And off she went in tears and injury. Asad , half his mind on Ayaan and half his inability to even fathom Zoe's steamroller mode , could only hold his head and wonder where he kept his Disprin and whom should he pacify first? Yet, it was Asad who wanted to know why Zoe was behaving like this with him. Men!
The problem is that Zoe's emotional attachment with Asad runs deep and her emotional needs and expectations from Asad, consciously and unconsciously have begun to escalate. Remember what she said the other day - "Mere dil mein hamesha ek bharosa rehta hai ki Mr.Khan hai na. " Yes, Mr.Khan. A man she starts her day with and ends her night with - her saviour, her enemy , her missing other half and her symbol of hope , security and a world where she will be safe.
But Asad? Not emotionally challenged. He is emotionally overwhelmed and he is starved in its expression. He is just as emotional about Zoe and nobody can forget what we saw of him when Zoe almost lost her life in Mangalpur. But what is the point of sending a piano to a person who has long forgotten the music of his own heart? Asad shut down himself long ago. So, when Zoe rises from his heart , the cold of fear and mechanical conditioning of self is so much that Zoe collapses in his heart like a whimper.
Asad is not the kind of man women fall in love with. But once in a while, a wild untamed heart takes a chance and forces the heart of such a man from the deep freeze. Would you do that Zoe? Is Asad worth jumping into a cold sea? Think and answer... after you are done crying your eyes out.
Zoe is the kind of woman anyone can fall in love with. But once in a while , a cold robotic heart refuses the warmth of such a heart.. How long will you stop yourself Asad? Are your fears worth injuring Zoe and punishing yourself? Think and answer... after you have made another mug of excuse... i mean, coffee for her.
Killer line : Mr.Khan, aapke dil mein seena nahin patthar hai!đ¤Ł
P.S- Can i be spared for not even talking about Ayaan for obvious reasons?đ¤
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