HEY GUYS,HERE'S ANOTHER OF MY HUMOUR-COLUMN ON T & D,JUST READ ON :
HI ALL U DESPERATE DIRECTORS AND PRODUCERS OUT THERE,WANNA GET THE PEOPLE'S ATTENTION ( & FRUSTRATION ) FOCUSED ON UR SHOW ? THEN WE,TONY & DEEYA SINGH HAVE WRITTEN JUST THE RIGHT BOOK FOR U ! THE TITLE OF OUR BOOK IS :
HUNDRED & ONE WAYS TO SPOIL A SHOW : THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GET PEOPLE MAD AT U !
(BY OUR 2-YEAR LONG EXPRRIENCE OF SPOILING AN ACCHHA-KHAASA SHOW) HERE'S A SNEEK-PEEK INTO IT......
TIP # 1.FIRST OF ALL,CREATE PAIR WITH SUCH A GOOOD CHEMISTRY THAT IT LOOKS LIKE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN,AND SUCH THAT EVERY PERSON WANTS TO TO SEE THE 2 GET MARRIED ( & PROMISE US THAT THAT'S THE ONLY THING U WONT LET HAPPEN,NO MATTER HOW MANY VIEWERS WANNA KILL U ! )
TIP # 2.NOW JUST B4 THE TWO R GOING TO GET MARRIED,INTRODUCE IN UR SHOW A CARDBOARD-FACED-GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-DOG-TAILED-RABBIT-EARED-SON -OF-A-DOORMAT-EXPRESSIONLESS PERSON IN THE SHOW WHOSE NAME SHOULD CONSIST OF ONLY 2 LETTERS,SAY-DJ,KJ,MJ,EJ OR MAYBE CJ ( GETTING MY POINIT,ARENT U ?)
TIP # 3.OOPS ! DID WE FORGET TO TELL U THAT THIS SON-OF-A-DOORMAT IS A LONG LOST FRIEND OF THE X-FIANCE OF THE FEMALE PROTAGONIST OF THE SHOW & HAS JUST COME OUT OF NOWHERE ?( PRAY TELL ME MR.CJ,WHERE WERE U IN ALL THESE 2 YEARS ? IN MARS MAYBE ? ).
TIP # 4.NOW JUST AS THE MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE IN,SAY 4 DAYS,GET THE X-FIANCE ( WHOSE NAME STARTS FROM ANY DIRECTION,SAY NORTH,SOUTH,WEST,OR EAST)TO HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR COME OUT OF NOWHERE & JUST AS THE GIRL COMES TO SEE HIM,GET HIM TO DIE !
TIP # 5.NOW BRING IN THAT SON-OF-A-DOORMAT TO MAKE FUNNY FACES AND UTTER THE STUPIDEST DIALOGUES LIKE :" JO AAG PURAB ( OR UTTAR OR DAKSHIN,WHATEVER NAME U LIKE) KE SHARIR MEIN LAG RAHI HAIN WOHI AAG MAIN TUMHARI ZINDAGI MEIN LAGA DUNGA ,CHADDI PEHENKE !!!"
TIP # 6.AND NOW MAKE THAT GIRL TO TRUST THIS CARDBOARD-FACE ( STUPID,ISN'T SHE ? ) AND EVEN AGREE TO STAY IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM ! NOW AS SHE FALLS OFF TO SLEEP BY SOME SLEEPING TABLETS ( COURTESY : MR.SON-OF-A-DOORMAT)AND GET HIM TO WEAR A CHADDI ( & A TOWEL IN THE NEXT SCENE )AND SIT IN A COMPROMISING POSITION SUCH THAT THE JUST ENTERED DESPERATE GOOD-LOOKING MALE PROTAGONIST THINKS IT TO BE "AHEM AHEM ".NOW AT THIS TIME,EVERYONE WATCHIN THE SCENE WILL BE THINKING SOMETHING ,THE MALE-PROTAGONIST WILL BE THINKING WHETHER ITS *** AND THE VIEWERS WILL BE THINKING " WHERE THE HELL DID THAT TOWEL COME FROM " .
TIP # 7.NOW EVERYONE WILL BE BAFFLED BECAUSE OF SOMETHING OR THE OTHER( AND EVERYONE WILL SURE BE MAD AT U.)AND UR JOB IS DONE,NOW JUST DONT CARE WHERE THE HELL THIS STORY ENDS UP,CAUSE NO ONE WATCHING UR SHOW NOW ANYWAY.
WELL........WELL.........WELL.......WE R NOT GOING TO TELL U EVERYTHING HERE IN THE REVIEW,FOR THAT U'LL HAVE TO PURCHASE THE BOOK,PRICED AT RS.500 THIS IS SURE GET UR PRODUCTION OFFICE'S PHONES RINGING WITH THEATENING CALLS,LIKE OURS DOES.SO WHAT R U WAITING FOR ? GO GRAB UR COPY NOW !!!!!!!
- T & D SINGH
NOTE : AS IS MY SIGNATURE,THIS BOOK IS AS REAL AS IS THE FACT THE A-J R GOING TO GET MARRIED.
Shiv Shakti
Cricket
