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He entered her room like a puppy. He saw her back turned towards him and he raised his hand to touch her - he had no idea what he could say to undo what he had done. He has no practice of comforting anyone , not even himself, tabhi toh aisi fateechar haalat mein hai. Still, he placed his hand on her shoulder and told her - Sorry. His face fell when he saws her sobbing swollen face. Again, he told her sorry and heard her backlash. He left her room and she broke down crying again. He again came back to see her . He did not like what he saw and the conscience pang continued. He made coffee for her - the best that he can manage - black, bitter but yes, from the heart. He put it in his own mug , went out to his favourite bench where she sat. She moved away from him. Yet he, said sorry again and again and handed her the coffee. He confessed to her that he acted like a jerk because he was scared. He discussed 'mother' with her, told her that she can live here as long as she wants . She mentioned his father and he switched off from the emotional bonding that was happening with her.
She cried her eyes out like blotchy red tomatoes because he had hurt her so much. She was crying till the night and his power to cause hurt to her is unsettling. She felt his hand on her shoulder and didn't shut down. Amidst sobs and tears of injury, she made her displeasure and agony very clear. And she asked him to leave. He retreated but she kept looking back - why? Who knows? Perhaps she expected him to say something that would undo the hurt he had caused her. His words hammering didn't leave her and the pained spasms continued. She went and sat on his bench, looking at the stars and his voiceover continued to torture her. Then, she saw him sitting next to her holding his mug with coffee for her. She saw the genuine guilt on his face when he said 'sorry' to her over and over again. That began to switch off the pain slowly and her spark slowly returned. She told him all that was in her heart - not to counter-injure him but just to let him know that nobody in this world deserves to be an orphan- she opened her heart to him only stopping short of telling him that she is looking for her father. She saw his soft and vulnerable side when he confessed that he hurt her because he got scared. She tried to comfort him by telling him that she understands his angst against his father. She saw that he had switched off and he went away. But his small gesture of kindness and guilt had restored her spark. So, she smilingly drank all his bitterness in the name of black bitter coffee.
Moral of this melodramatic story?
Zoe is moved and touched by Asad whenever he shows even 0.1% of kindness and compassion to him and she understands where his pain springs from . Yet, she is not willing to make him her confidante and her secret keeper. Asad is attached to Zoe which leads to his extreme reactions to her - both good and bad and more , but he is not willing to let his guard down and let her see how injured, lonely and tortured he is.
Zoe and Asad don't want each-other to feel sorry for them. Its like - Be my enemy , my frenemy , my friend, my punching bag , but don't have pity on me and don't sympathize with me. Dushman bano , dost bano, humsafar bano , jaan le lo, jaan de do, lekin Humdard banne ki koshish na karo.
Asad and Zoe's conversation today was a peek into all that they can do for each-other if they give their relationship a chance. I have never heard Asad say - "Main actually dar gaya tha". But he confessed it to Zoe. I have never seen Zoe talk her heart out but today , she did. I would never imagine Zoe to talk about her Mom so fondly and so emotionally to anyone , but today she did with her signature - "Aapko pataa hai Mr.Khan..."
Asad and Zoe connect beautifully... AND THEN, they switch off. This is their biggest drawback. Asad would have sat and listened to Zoe all night as she spoke about her Mom , but Zoe's effort to sympathize with him sent him running off. Zoe is not conscious of her connection to Asad and that is why she is always wary of how much she lets him see of her broken soul.
Its a marvelous job on the part of the writers that you cannot pin point what Asad and Zoe's relationship actually is.
Anyway, here are my favourite moments from today's episode.
1. Asad checking his mother's breathing and the ensuing conversation. No wonder, Asad ki saans atkee hui hai apni Ammie mein.
2. Asad letting Zoe do all the talking and listening to her talk about her Mom with a sentimental smile on his face.
3. Shireen's and Humzie's pain on loving the men who do not love them back.
4. Zoe drinking the coffee that Asad made inspite of it not being of her taste. Its amusing how her spark came running back to her face the moment Asad accepted his faults and was compassionate to her.
5. Zoe going around Asad in circles like a rabbit trying to speak to him and the return of their Tom-Jerry equation.
P.S- What Asad did on his part to apologize to Zoe is conventionally nothing. But for me, its the most honest apology that he could manage and that mug of coffee is the biggest expression of warmth that a winter man like him is capable of. Perhaps, what did it for me was that he listened to her with attentive honest attention. It must have been something in what he did or else Zoe who had been crying her eyes out wouldn't have her eyes sparkling when he left her with a mug of bitterness that she drank down with a smile. :-)
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P.P.S- I may sound the Beep-Queen of the first order but I have a major issue with people coming to my post and liking replies , talking to members replying in my posts WITHOUT any acknowledgment of the main post and the writer (me) . In my definition of civilization, its considered complete lack of etiquette , civility and manners. So, next time, in my post, talk to me and in context of my post. If you cannot , wait for the concerned member to come to your post and then, press as many likes as you can. Consider it my major attention deficit , but i have no tolerance for such behaviour. Thanks. Sorry Moderators , I am just pointing out what i feel is plain rude - just how i sound right now.
Ganesh Kartikeya
Anupamaa
Pocket Mein Aasman
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