Chapter Twenty-Two - The Answer
I stared at her silently.
I didn't know how to answer.
I didn't know the answer.
I had never thought of that before.
She kept her big brown eyes on me as she waited for an answer.
I eventually pulled my eyes away and looked at the ground.
"I can't answer that."
I looked back at her face and her mouth was open slightly, like she was upset...but also disappointed in herself.
She stepped back and sat on the bed.
Then she began speaking to herself.
"I'm so stupid. I'm SO stupid...I've let people control me for my entire life. People who weren't even family. I had a terrible life. I hated being a Sharma. Then when finally some hope came along...it wasn't because of me. It wasn't for me."
She looked up at me as tears fell from her eyes.
"You did this for yourself. You brought me here for yourself."
I just stared at her.
I knew what she was saying wasn't true. I just didn't know how to answer her question.
"I'm so stupid. I never should've let you bring me here...Never...I can't stay here."
She ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes.
She began balling for a minute when eventually she stood up.
She looked me in the eyes with a furious look.
"I'm not her. And I never will be."
And with that she went to walk past me.
She didn't mean much to me...but I didn't want to lose her at the same time.
I pulled out my hand and grabbed hers before she could leave.
I didn't bother looking in her direction.
I kept a hold on her hand and answered her question while staring at the picture of my Madhu and I, which lay on the bed.
"Yes. If you didn't look like her, I would've talked to you. I would've cared for you. I would've helped you...I'm not that terrible to have done otherwise. You walked into my life so unexpectedly. What are the chances that you'd end up being his sister? I hurt him, and you came to yell at me. I didn't mean to have you enter my life, but you did. It was bound to happen...whether it had been before or after I lost my love. The first time I saw you, I admit that I went through a lot. I was confused and didn't understand anything. But as I got to know you...I unknowingly came to care for you. The more I got to know about your life at home...the more I began to care. You have no idea the amount of pain I put myself through by looking at you, by talking to you, and by caring for you everyday. Yet I still do. Why would I put myself through so much pain? For myself? You think I did this for myself? I'm not a horrible human being...I have feelings too. I helped you because I cared...not because you resembled my late wife. I talked to you because you talked to me. Every time I tried to avoid you, you'd happen to come to me. Every time I told myself I wouldn't talk to you, I just happened to bump into you...I'm not a bad person Madhuri. And I hope you understand that. My point is...I didn't do this for me..."
I pulled her arm to make her come in front of me. I needed to see her face.
As she bumped into my chest, I stepped back slightly, but I stared into her eyes as she stared into mine...and then I continued.
"I did this for you..."
Note to readers: Sorry for the short update! Probably one of my shortest! I've actually run out of daily updates...I'll get back to this by Friday afternoon!
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