Article: Sob goes the mothballed trail

Young, old, young-old. That is the way Smriti Irani has gone in her television career. When she first played a young bride in Star Plus's marathon soap, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, she actually looked young and slim. Then, as the serial stretched on interminably, and she became Tulsi 'Mother India' Virani, she acquired many extra kilos, along with a grey bun and an old-woman gait.

Catch Tulsi again as a young bride in Thodisi Zameen Thodasa Aasman, Star Plus's new offering. Except that now she is a rather, er, shapeless and matronly-looking young bride. Other old friends from Kyunki Saas and #8230; are also around in younger avatars - like Payal (Jaya Bhattacharya), who has got rid of her salt-and-pepper hair and heavy saris. Instead, she trips around in churidaar-kameez, giggling girlishly. I am just waiting for Ba to reappear in jeans and skirts. There are so many new serials on air now, it is becoming difficult to keep track of who is getting married to whom, which family is doing the dandia in what costumes and who is plotting against whom.

That is what serials are all about these days: families celebrating weddings and festivals, and in the middle of the shaadi mandap or puja pandal, hatching sinister plots to do everyone in. (Writers must be in screenplay heaven as of now: there is Dushhera, Diwali, Karwa Chauth and Christmas to see them through the next few months - each festival can take care of at least 10 episodes).

In Karam Apna Apna, the new serial on Star Plus from the Balaji camp, all three elements come together: a festival, a wedding and a wicked plot. The festival is Durga Puja since the serial is allegedly about a Bengali family (though the only thing Bengali here is the surname). And even as the pishis and meshos stand praying devoutly in front of goddess Durga, a deep and dark plot is being worked out to trap Gauri, the virtuous bride-to-be. The plot works and on her wedding eve, Gauri is disgraced in the eyes of the world and her fianc and #233;. (With the number of successful plots in our TV serials, all the actors could make a profitable living as real estate brokers).

Meanwhile, in Zee TV's new serial, Ghar Ki Lakshmi and #8230; Betiyaan, there is a new reason to celebrate: the arrival of a son and heir. Star Plus and Zee have been locked in a legal battle over the serial - the writer who wrote it first took her concept to Zee and then, not happy with Zee, went to Star. Both channels have come up with what appear to be similar serials now (the one on Star is called Betiyaan Apni Ya and #8230; Paraya Dhan).

Why entertainment channels want to make serials on mothballed concepts will remain an enduring mystery. But then, most of what passes off as entertainment on TV is a mystery anyway. Why, for instance, does everyone cry non-stop in all the soaps? Why do the families only live in havelis and mansions? Why have scriptwriters never heard of nuclear families who live in flats? Why is every bride's sasural such a hotbed of intrigue, so much so that it would make the palace politics of medieval India look like a teddy bear's picnic?

Anyhow, in the episode of Ghar Ki Lakshmi and #8230; Betiyaan that I saw, the family in question laughed and smiled so much because of the arrival of a son, I thought they would dislocate their jaws. I know my jaws started hurting just looking at them. Of course, to add poignancy to the proceedings (and remember the name of the serial?) there are four little neglected girls who watch the celebrations from the sidelines. Everyone quickly grows up in the episode and it ends with the entire household once again in a state of high excitement. This time, because in time-honoured fashion, the beloved son is coming back from vilayat after many years (he had gone to Oxford to study, if you please).

To get back to the 21st century, I switched to news. To Sahara Samay. And caught a story of a 36-year-old woman in Orissa who had been locked up in a box for 20 years. What saved me from cracking up entirely was an episode of The Comedy Show Ha Ha Ha (Star One). Okay, all the gags are not wildly funny, but the show does manage to raise a few laughs - like Suresh Menon in dandia costume, telling us that it takes three to 'garbo.' Or Menon as the very camp Ratan Re-imburse, giving us the box-office lowdown of the week as he strokes his pet kitten.