Always,Only You--(fiction) THREAD 1 - Page 30

Chapter 9

Next Day

I am ashamed of myself. How could I behave like that? What must maa, bauji and everyone else be thinking about me? I have to apologize. God! I was insane. Why did I lose my cool that way? Why did I let it bother me? I just snapped. Whatever my reasons for it maybe, what I did was wrong and now I have to make amends for it. First... I need to speak with the kids.

He was feeling very unsure about how to go about it. Previous night when he tried to sleep in the study he thought back about how he went berserk in front of the family and it crushed him to relive the whole thing again when rage was not blinding him, he felt very angry again at himself, at what he had done. The introspection on his part had calmed him enough to see how his actions had hurt others.

Yash made his way towards the children's room.

"Papa, will you send...will you send... mama away?" questioned a worried looking Palak and her voice broke as she spoke.

"No honey, whatever made you say so?" answered Yash, but he knew the answer to the question. HE was to blame for putting that doubt into the children's minds. Now it was his responsibility to set things straight. It pained him to see how badly his actions had affected everyone.

Needlessly I made the kids suffer. If only I could have controlled that temper of mine all this could have been avoided. What have I done?

"I never want to go to Mumbai again. It makes you angry...you were fine all the while we were here in Bhopal and even for sometime in Mumbai too...but..then..you changed" said Payal who was almost on the verge of tears.

"We love you Papa, but we were so scared of you. If it was not mama then...then did we do something to make you angry?" queried Ansh who was trying hard not to show how he too was affected on seeing his father whom he looked up to, behave so uncharacteristically.

"Not at all my children. It was your Papa's fault entirely. I am so sorry everyone, Papa had a bad day. But if you are willing to forgive me, just this once, I promise never to be like this again in front you" said Yash with sincerity.

"If you could forgive him and give him a kissey, your Papa would be very glad. And will consider himself forgiven. So what do you think guys.. can you forgive this Papa of yours" asked a very expectant Yash going down on his knees, holding his breath to see if he would be lucky enough to get their forgiveness.

The kids looked at each other's faces, as if debating whether to trust their Papa and forgive his indiscretion this one time. They reached a silent unanimous decision.

"Of course we do. We love you Papa" all the kids replied in chorus only to run towards him, hug him and shower him with kisses.

Step one of the apology done. Bless these kids for not sulking and giving in that easily. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. Now I have the other hurdle to cross.

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All members were gathered in the hall having a morning cup of tea.

When Yash entered all tried to ignore him.

I deserved as much. Look how no one is even looking at me. I have hurt them terribly with my outburst yesterday. Oh! why did I do what I did?

"Bauji, I came here to apologize for my actions. I am ashamed for what I did. Please forgive me, it will never happen again" Yash went straight to the point and did not dilly-dally.

"Yash it is good to see you minus the drama of yesterday. Whatever possessed you? It was shocking to see you that way. I thought we had given you better manners than what you displayed yesterday" said SP in a condescending tone.

Yash had his head bent and was silently accepting all the criticism coming his way.

"Husband-wife relation is a delicate thread that can snap if you yank it forcibly. I agree all couples have misunderstandings some time or the other. But in this house we do not go about pushing our spouse out of anger" continued SP and Yash became all the more ashamed.

"I am sorry...for what I did..."

"It is not us you need to apologize to, Yash, it is your wife. She was the one who had to suffer most. I don't know what happened between you two in Mumbai but it needs to be resolved. I want peace in his household. Not hot-heads who blow their steam without thinking of the repercussions. I hope you mean what you say and never repeat what you did" with that SP got up and left.

Aarti who was listening to the entire conversation started to pick up the empty cups onto the tray and moved away towards the kitchen. Yash eyes followed every moment she made.

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That night Yash finally came to the bedroom he knew he had to get this over with. He could not even concentrate on his work today. He was still angry, but that did not justify his going off handle. For a while he silently observed Aarti. She knew that he had come yet did not acknowledge his presence. She was ignoring him, busily dusting the bed and adjusting the pillows on top.

She was present at hall when Bauji had told me to apologize to her this morning. So now she was playing it cool, was she? Well two can play this game thought Yash to himself.

But just then Aarti finally broke the silence and spoke.

"Yashji, I know why you are angry?"

"You do?

"Yes. It's about that night...when we became intimate... Is it not?" Aarti stood straight feeling very nervous yet continued to say "I know. But believe it or not I regret it ever happened more than you do."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. We were not thinking straight. I had a traumatic experience and you were shaken by it too. So we got carried away. I can understand why you reacted the way you did afterwards."

After a long silence Yash finally spoke up.

"Well it seems you have it all figured out" said Yash sarcastically but Aarti was too distraught to notice it.

"In that case all that is left for me to do is to say sorry. I should not have taken out my anger on you that way. It was uncalled for. And I agree with you, what happened that night ... is best forgotten" stated Yash with a ring of finality to it.

That made Aarti's head shoot up and her eyes clash with Yash.

Both remained silent for a while longer. But when the tension became unbearable both moved. Both went on to sit on their side of the bed. Both restless. As they simultaneously reached for the pillow they normally placed in between them. Their fingers brushed, they jerked and both left the to pillow fall, as if it had suddenly turned too hot and their fingers had got burnt. They gave each other a stunned look. Then again Yash picked up the pillow and placed it as a wall back in its place. The wall was back both physically and emotionally, as Yash and Aarti lay awake when the lights were switched off facing away from each other.

TO BE CONTINUED...