Posted:
From a paradise called mumma's cocoon
03 Jan 2013
Remember that phone conversation we had via mumma...that first time? After that you did not pick up the phone but spoke to me directly whenever you wanted to...coming near mumma's tummy and instructing me what to tell mumma...and I did. I would come as close as possible to the wall of mumma's tummy and listen to you and then I would have a talk with her privately. I always listen to you and mumma. The last time when you spoke with me you asked me to tell mumma that she is free to do as she wished...free to go wherever she wished...that you would not stop her. That message confused me papa, and I was thinking what to tell ma when she kept a hand on me and asked me not to worry as love for her is already knocking the doors of your heart and that you love her, only you don't admit it. That confused me some more papa, because I know how much you love her, love me, so why does she need you to say it...Hmmm...I guess that is the adult thing. For some reason she wants to hear those exact words...words that come out so clearly in your actions. You take care of us, keep us warm, and protect us from all calamities...just as you did today.
Papa, I was awake yesterday night when ma told you the complete story of her life and also that she made a mistake and is sorry. That's what I have learnt the most from her...that if one makes a mistake, one should be brave enough to apologize and stand up for it. Today also she taught bhaiya and didis the same thing as also that if one asks forgiveness from heart, the other person should be big hearted to forgive. You were so hurt papa...you had been hurt and angry with ma for a couple of days...and I half understood it. But let me tell you how sad ma was...she was torturing herself for hurting you. I am witness to her agitation and grief. It killed her to see you in so much pain. She confessed her love over and over and you didn't believe her. Why didn't you come to me then papa? I wish you had spoken with me then...I'd have told you that all the words she shouted didn't even measure to a fraction of what she actually feels for you. I have told you earlier also that when you are with her, there is this extra warmth that spreads inside her...the warmth of your love...and this love and hers combined is what I bask in. This love is the reason I can look forward to a life outside...You have no idea how happy I was to hear from dadi what the doctor said...that I am safe and that I can finally hope for a chance to be with you all in the outside world. In front of the Devi ma ma proved how good and pure she is...I am guessing that just as she wanted to hear the three special words from you, you too needed a confirmation that what she said was the ultimate truth...right papa?
Yet ever since mumma's confession I sensed a turmoil in you. I could see you watching her...trying to understand her. Aha...papa, why were you letting your mind think for you. You know very well...we both know very well...that when it comes to ma, we need to think and reason with our hearts. Do you remember that Karwa chauth night at bade papa/badi mummy's house when you said a very insightful thing about ma? You had said that her actions are misunderstood the first time because she is so emotional...but when one gets to know the real reason, one only feels ashamed for not understanding something that was so simple. Yet you momentarily forgot your own understanding of her...However, I am glad you found her back in you...where she always was...when it was needed the most...today...when her lie was exposed in front of everyone in a very wrong manner by those two bad people.
There she stood papa, holding her head down in shame and crying, and those people kept on saying she belonged to them...that bhaiya belonged to them. Is ma a thing papa? I didn't like the way they were hurting her. I kept looking back for you...waiting for you to come between us and them...waiting for you to step forward to protect her...and you did. Dadaji got very angry...very very angry...He hated it that ma lied...I so wanted to tell him that ma didn't want to...that she was forced to...that she is too good a person for her own good at times. She holds no grudge for anyone...doesn't speak ill of anyone. I wanted to ask dadaji, 'Why do you forget that you love her for the beautiful person that she is? Why has this lie then become bigger than your love?' But dadaji punished her...punished us...by asking her to leave the house. Bade papa/badi mummy too tried to tell him that ma is not at fault, but he was too hurt and disappointed to be ready to listen to anyone...not even dadi. Then, I sensed you...you went forward and spoke with dadaji. You knew ma was at fault so you didn't defend her wrongly, only pleaded for forgiveness on her behalf. You showed those two conniving, bad people that ma belongs to this family...that she is your wife and our mother. You were even brusque and curt with bua dadi for calling ma 'that woman.' I was so proud of you for standing up for ma in front of a family member for insultingly referring to ma...'She is not that woman; she is my wife and the mother of my children.' These words still ring in my ears for the authority and possessiveness with which you spoke them...even ma was taken by surprise. I saw how dadi too was proud of you. She loves ma so much...and tried her best to make dadaji tone down his punishment, but he didn't. He even threatened that once I am born he will take me away from you and mumma and bhaiya and didis...I was really scared he would, but then I looked at you and all my fears were allayed. You would never let that happen...ever. That's when you told ma that you will accompany us and be a part of this punishment because you two took a vow of togetherness when you got married. How then could you let her face this alone...that you will be there with her till death. Oh papa, when you said that, ma was overwhelmed. She felt stronger. When I come out, I am going to say to you every single living day how proud I am of you. There's none like you.
Just then bhaiya came out, reminding the elders that adults don't fight and repeated the lesson ma taught us kids in the morning. The bad woman tried to tell him that you are not his papa...that the man he calls dost uncle is his papa. But bhaiya refused and then you...wow papa, I have never seen you so angry...I mean I have, but not like this. Your tone was enough to scare those two away...'He is my son. Let go of his hand...He is Ansh Yash Scindia, and if anyone tries to take him away, I'll not leave him.'...Aww papa, you are my hero...a thousand times over. Those two ran away with their tails between their legs after nani gave them some reality check. Dadaji stuck to his punishment and no one had the courage to speak against him. Well...the two most courageous people in the house were punished...ones who defended and saved others, but when it came to them...well, who am I to complain? I am just a kid...and that too an unborn one...
I walked into the room with ma to see you packing. Ma was very upset and guilty that because of her you too have to leave home and make dada/dadi angry. But you made her understand that dadaji will understand that he has a duty toward his children. You were so loving ...made her feel so loved with your words...'It will be a bigger punishment if I have to stay away from you. I need you. You and the kids are my priority. I promised to be with you forever...so how could I leave you midstream. I am so sorry I misunderstood you...termed your love a majboori...but I know now that it was not your love but you yourself were majboor.' And then, papa, came my favorite moment...when you stepped forward and wiped mumma's tears and said, 'From henceforth there is place for nothing but me in those eyes...not even tears.'...Aww...I sat looking at you and your love that shone through your eyes...but ma being ma wanted more...She wants to hear those three words which she knows are in your heart and which reflect in your eyes...and you don't disappoint her this time...I was once again the fortunate child who witnessed this wonderful moment...the moment when you looked deep into her eyes and said...'I love you, Aartiji.' If you were not so deeply engrossed in each other, you two would have heard my deep sigh of bliss.
I am so very proud of you papa. You were there for ma when she needed you the most. You didn't turn your back...even though it hurts you to defy dadaji and being banished from your home. You are the best...forever. I love you too...
Aayu
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
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