Amitji does not like secretive language: Jaya

Amitji said well done to his wife Jaya, touched by her 70th year birthday celebrations for him

What are your childhood puja memories?

My parents were among the first few Bengali families in Bhopal where we lived. We were called Probashi Bengalis (Bengalis who live outside Bengal). Now it has become commercial, but at that time it was wonderful and a lot of fun. The most exciting part was not sleeping early. I remember there would be plays in the evening which would get over late and then we would walk back home at 3 and 4 in the morning. While in Bengal, the pujas have become commercial, in places like Bhopal, it is still more intimate and participative.

You are married to a non- Bengali? Does your family visit the puja with you?

My husband comes with me at least on Maha Ashtami. This year Abhishek is not here, Aishwarya is not well and the baby has a cold.

Would you like Aaradhya to know about puja?

I would love to. She must learn. They are all getting so westernised. Aishwarya is into celebrations and puja a lot, so she will want her child to have the cultural upbringing that she may have had as a child.

Do you speak Bengali at home?

Only when I have to share a secret with my husband. Amitji can read Bengali and does not like secretive language but we switch to Bengali if we have to tell each other 'let's go' (taube aashi). My mother always spoke to my kids in Bengali. While Shweta speaks Bengali, Abhishek does not understand it that well.

Any thing Bengali you care for?

I am a true Bong. I love Bengali culture, literature, cinema. I have to have my fish and rice and one green vegetable at least five times a week.

Are Bengali women dominating?

I don't know dominating, but they are intelligent and strong. Not obviously said but it is a matriarchal society, where the eldest woman in the house is the main person. She has the key which she ties to her sari symbolising that she is in control of the house. In earlier times, a house would have an aangan (Uthoon), where her room would be either right upstairs so she could watch over everybody, or close to the entrance so she could control who was coming into the house.

Are Bengali men different from other men?

In Bengal, when a man gets married he hands over everything in his house to his wife. By and large, Bengali women are more educated be it literally or through their tastes and visual education from everyday life. Bengali men feel very proud if they give their women the opportunity to outdo them.

During his 70th birthday celebrations, Amitabh Bachchan said 'he had never celebrated a birthday like that before and he was grateful to you. As a wife what was your way of knowing he was happy?

I saw a smile on his face all through that night.

Did he say something special to you?

He told me 'this is the most unforgettable evening of my life'. He said 'well done'. The night before when he went for the rehearsal of Madhushala, he said 'my God I cannot believe it... it's huge. How did you guys do it. This is amazing'. I did it because I wanted him to be happy and he was happy and touched and that was my reward and compliment.

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From the TOI