Adi's Diary
So much has happened in a short space of time; I thought that today I and Latika would have been married. But maybe that was not my destiny. Married? What marriage? It seemed like a formal agreement if that was a wedding it sure was formal. There was no enjoyment it was almost like a formality. I dont know what has gotten into me. I can't believe I said I was ready for marriage. But I just wanted to get rid of this constant fighting. I can't see my family at each other's throats that's why I sacrificed everything for them. Pankhuri always talks about sacrifice maybe that's where I got it from. He giggled at himself. He thought about Pankhuri. She was right you know. It's a good job she didnt sign. The marriage wasn't right it wasn't practical. I dont know what I would do without her. She is like my guide to life. The way she described marriage was not what I thought it was. Latika and me we never thought about each other's needs I wanted freedom and so did she, we never want to spend time with each other. If I ever got married I would want to spend time with my wife, share every thought with her. His mind drifted to Pankhuri. When I signed those papers it was like signing a business deal there was no love, no support, and no affection from me or her. What's the point then? Why are we even getting married after 15 days, a year, 10 years if we dont want to be with each other?
I've decided I won't get married. I will listen to Pankhuri. She shouted at me but she was right. Sometimes when someone tells you off you may get hurt but there is truth behind it. But what I dont understand is why Pankhuri didnt sign? It was my decision. Why did she not sign? Maybe she didnt feel I was ready. I need to ask her. I just wish I went for my relationship with Pankhuri, why did you do this to us God? Why didnt you make it all right in the first place? Ever since I have known Pankhuri my life has changed in every way possible. That's the impact she has had on me. She has changed my habits, my views, my thoughts and most of all changed my family. My family is still the same stubborn, separate, shattered. But there are times when we join hands and embrace things together. It's lovely to see when that happens. It gave me a new lease of hope. She has been my strength; she has given me the courage to be able to solve things practically but correctly. She has taught me so much but also she has ever got is pain from me, from my family. I want to make sure that she is always protected I promise I won't let anyone do anything to her now, let anyone say anything about her. I am going to stand by her, hold her hand and guide her out. I am going to make sure that my mum realises that Pankhuri was never wrong.
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