"Hum toh theek hai, but what on earth is wrong with you laad governor?" Khushi lifted her finger and took a few steps forward till Arnav Speedy Singh Raizada was backed up against the wall.
The wall that had Salman Khanji's poster, Khushi looked at Arnav and then Salman, Arnav, Salman, Arnav, Salman and finally let out a sigh!
Arnav didn't miss the desperation in her eyes. He looked at Khushi and turned to look at Salman. He looked at her and at Salman, once again. Arnav's heart sank. Those were big underwear err...shoes to fill. His dreams of giving Khushi the ultimate Khushi crashed with the realization that he will never "size up" to Salman.
Although no one knew the real size of Salman, legend had it that legendary beauties were never disappointed by his prowess. The Salman poster began tenting in the middle, turned on by Khushi's charm.
"Uff! Salmanji, please! not now! He is my husband, Kuch tho Sharm karo!"
The poster tent collapsed. Arnav felt a strong urge to hide, this was embarrassing - even a poster gets turned on??? Focus...Focus...On the Zyada part, not the Rai part...
He excused himself to the only place he knew he could "come" without help - his very own private moldy and mildew paradise - his bathroom.
"Excuse me, I will be right back" he dashed.
"Suniye!" Khushi called him but he slammed the bathroom door , dashing any hopes she had of a Soapy Rabba Vey. Her mind raced to think of million ways to rouse the "mountain" of a "mole hill". She had an idea.
****
"You idiot! Why don't you listen to me? I'm always right! How dare you embarrass me! You, you, no sex no passion serial lover!"
Arnav looked down and chided his Chote, which lay unresponsive and limp not having recovered from its premature NASA-esque Launch of The Millennium.
"Now what will I do with you? Get up you moron. You're not made in China, so don't give up like a cheap Chinese product. Come on! Rise and shine like the Washington Monument that you are! Come on, now!" It stirred.
A few penthouse and playboy magazines later, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon jerked into a weak Leaning Tower of Pisa.
"This will have to do for now. Besides, she is a virgin, she knows squat."
Convinced that this time his battery would last longer than his cheap refurbished Oshiba laptop, he stormed out of the bathroom. His crossed his fingers that his performance review would outshine that of the latest IPhone5 and that his hard drive would beat the sheer miniscule capacity of Shyam's pen drive.
****
Anjali complained to SJ.
"Look, the story started with me and look where we are now. ARHI, ARHI, ARHI! I am sick of them. Can't you bring the story back to me?"
SJ agreed and decided to give Shanjali a ripping, hot sex scene. Of course, after the deed was done, Shyam pulled the covers over Anjali and muttered under his breath.
"She swears louder than a sl*t, potty mouth Anjali. And I am the supposed villain! Let me check on Koosie's sexy back." He snuck out of the room
****
Arnav exited the bathroom. Khushi stood there in her bareback choli, and low slung lehenga. Her back gleamed with the creaminess of the latest Vanilla flavored Kwality Icecream and her waist competed with the narrow lanes of Delhi 6. When he saw Khushi, Chote unfurled in full glory, and was ready to torpedo the first tunnel in sight.
"Arnavji, Chodiye na, don't tease me, please, you are so nottie" she squirmed her back as she felt his stubbles tickle her. She screamed.
"AAA, Spider! It's a spider! chi chi, get it off me, off, off, choo, choo!" she jumped pushing the creepy crawly off her back. The spider was more shocked than her, its brief skating trip on sexy back cut as brutally short as Justin Timberlake's fling with Cameron Diaz. Arnav rushed to her rescue and squished the spider and envied the creep for finding more courage than he could muster at this moment.
Shoring all his courage for his updated Chote software - Rabba Vey Version 2.0 - Rise and Shine, and pulled her to him. Her back slammed to his hard chest. She felt his Chote move and respond. Satisfied, she began grinding her tushie to him. He didn't disappoint her. He carried her off to the poolside and laid her by the pool.
"Arnavji, there are spiders by the pool."
"Honay do"
He began undressing her.
"Arnavji, He is watching us."
"Dekhnay do"
He unclasped her lehenga and pulled it gently down her ivory long legs.
"He can hear us."
"Sunnay do"
He tore away the delicate fuchsia choli and threw it into the pool. Khushi's voice rose in panic.
"Arnavji, he is coming closer to us!"
"Aanay do"
Arnavji's chote were hoisted up, proudly matching the oversized flags of United States of America, ready to invade, conquer and rule any oil rich err...cream rich koosie. She noticed those bulging curious eyes of the crude intruder behind the bushes. The grotesqueness advanced menacingly in the soon to be coital couple's direction.
"Arnavjiii, Nooo!!!"
"Croak" the bull frog hopped closer. Its eyes bulged in excitement.
"Croak" it croaked again and stared at the stunned lovers.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All Hail Chote and the Chameli Anthem
ASR Rox (the Bull Frog)
Sarun Papers (are nothing but Recycled Rabba Ve Toilet Papers)
ArHi Scissors (the nada of ASR's pajama and dori of Khushi's choli)
Serialjunkie is a wonkie, koi shak?
Comment, like, res, tfs, karna hai tho karo,nahi karna hai tho bhi karo!
Cricket
38