Looking for consistencies in any show is like looking for a needle in the haystack. You ain't gonna find any. However, I do agree that the men in the show aren't utilized to their maximum potential. Although the CVs did touch a little bit on Ahem and Parag's relationship, they didn't go deep into it. I wish they did. Chirag seems to be like a workaholic, but even then, I like that he is there when the family needs him. I wouldn't mind seeing more of him though. As for Jigar, like many have said, his character as been stagnant for the duration of the show. The only time I saw a bit of change in him was when Rashi had been kicked out and Jigar was fired up over her betrayal. I wish we saw more of that fire, rather than the docile son that he is right now. Ahem is there, more so than others, but I can't complain about him too much. I used to dislike him completely during the Anita track because I felt like he left too many loops for misunderstandings between Gopi and him, but all that has changed. Now, he's doing everything that I wanted him to do for Gopi.
Kinjal is already footloose, so expecting anyone to order her about isn't going to do anything. Because she's married into a different kul, Koki can't extend her authority into the Shahs house. If anyone has a problem with her salwars, it should be Urmi. However, Urmi hardly cares about Kinjal, much less about the way Kinjal dresses.
I probably can write more, but it's best I stop. This might go on forever.