Posted:
Laurie, absolutely loved both your posts and agree with every word you have written.
Sowmya, we ask Archu to stay away and not interfere in Purvi's and Arjun's marriage in order to be fair to both girls yet we want her to postpone the wedding. If we want her to stay away, she cannot have any say in when they should marry, it is their decision to marry now or later. I don't see the point in postponing the wedding until Ovi comes to terrns with it. Purvi is not Ovi's sister (Ovi has never considered her to be), the parents are getting divorced and Manav and family are moving to Canada, it is not like the two girls' lives will ever cross paths so why snatch or postpone Purvi's happiness to appease Ovi? This will only breed more hope in Ovi and give her time to brood and plot. Better to make a clean cold cut by having the marriage take place right away. That way Arjun is out of her system once and for all.
Perfangel, Archana's initial reaction was exactly what you have written, Arjun in her eyes was not right for either of her girls. I do not agree with the way Arjun conducted himself in regards to the engagement and the fact that he never tried to explain himself to Ovi. I believe he still owes her an explanation though it might be too late now, it was callous of him not to square things away as he of all people knows how much she loves him or obsesses over him. That said, Archana did realize that Arjun loved Purvi and had never loved Ovi so she would be hard pressed then to punish one child just because her other child is unhappy with this rishta. Mothers above all else whether it makes perfect sense to their children or not, do love all children equally and try to be fair to all of their children. She is being fair to Purvi in not snatching her happiness for Ovi's sake, she is being fair to Ovi in not letting her throw herself away on a man who doesn't care for her. What more can Archana do? Not invite the Deshmukhs? She is damned if she does and she is damned if she doesn't. Look at the way Manav pushed her when he thought she had hidden Arjun's and Purvi's love from him. If my child was living in la la land, I would shove it in her face not unkindly but to make her realize the follies of her ways. That is what Archana did in handing that invitation and that too only after Ovi had come to her with that crazy offer of a barter exchange.
I do believe Ovi knows Archana loves her or she wouldn't be so ready to dish out crap every single time. It is only when you are confident in a person's love that you tell them you are unhappy with them. When there is indifference, you do not rant and rail. I read in a parenting magazine this psychologist reassuring a mother who was upset that her toddler had told her he hated her. The psychologist told the mother not to worry, the child could say that only to her as the kid was so supremely confident of his mother's love, he knew she would keep loving him no matter how he acted out. That is my take on Ovi, every time she throws a tantrum at Archana, it is a test to see how far she can go without alienating this woman, her mother, as she, Ovi knows deep down in her heart that Archana loves her. It is Ovi's greatest fear to be unloved and her secret hope, contrary to the poison that has been fed her, that this gentle, beautiful creature loves her above all else (equally of course with all her other siblings).
Sowmya, we ask Archu to stay away and not interfere in Purvi's and Arjun's marriage in order to be fair to both girls yet we want her to postpone the wedding. If we want her to stay away, she cannot have any say in when they should marry, it is their decision to marry now or later. I don't see the point in postponing the wedding until Ovi comes to terrns with it. Purvi is not Ovi's sister (Ovi has never considered her to be), the parents are getting divorced and Manav and family are moving to Canada, it is not like the two girls' lives will ever cross paths so why snatch or postpone Purvi's happiness to appease Ovi? This will only breed more hope in Ovi and give her time to brood and plot. Better to make a clean cold cut by having the marriage take place right away. That way Arjun is out of her system once and for all.
Perfangel, Archana's initial reaction was exactly what you have written, Arjun in her eyes was not right for either of her girls. I do not agree with the way Arjun conducted himself in regards to the engagement and the fact that he never tried to explain himself to Ovi. I believe he still owes her an explanation though it might be too late now, it was callous of him not to square things away as he of all people knows how much she loves him or obsesses over him. That said, Archana did realize that Arjun loved Purvi and had never loved Ovi so she would be hard pressed then to punish one child just because her other child is unhappy with this rishta. Mothers above all else whether it makes perfect sense to their children or not, do love all children equally and try to be fair to all of their children. She is being fair to Purvi in not snatching her happiness for Ovi's sake, she is being fair to Ovi in not letting her throw herself away on a man who doesn't care for her. What more can Archana do? Not invite the Deshmukhs? She is damned if she does and she is damned if she doesn't. Look at the way Manav pushed her when he thought she had hidden Arjun's and Purvi's love from him. If my child was living in la la land, I would shove it in her face not unkindly but to make her realize the follies of her ways. That is what Archana did in handing that invitation and that too only after Ovi had come to her with that crazy offer of a barter exchange.
I do believe Ovi knows Archana loves her or she wouldn't be so ready to dish out crap every single time. It is only when you are confident in a person's love that you tell them you are unhappy with them. When there is indifference, you do not rant and rail. I read in a parenting magazine this psychologist reassuring a mother who was upset that her toddler had told her he hated her. The psychologist told the mother not to worry, the child could say that only to her as the kid was so supremely confident of his mother's love, he knew she would keep loving him no matter how he acted out. That is my take on Ovi, every time she throws a tantrum at Archana, it is a test to see how far she can go without alienating this woman, her mother, as she, Ovi knows deep down in her heart that Archana loves her. It is Ovi's greatest fear to be unloved and her secret hope, contrary to the poison that has been fed her, that this gentle, beautiful creature loves her above all else (equally of course with all her other siblings).
