shiv's aunt's problem

tinoo

@tinoo

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Posted: 13 years ago

#1

shiv's aunt has a problem with anandi because she is not 'nayi naveli' (brand new) ... and has issues with the fact that she has had physical relations with another man.

I am really surprised because she was very happy with the prospect of ashima as shiv's wife.

Now just because ashima is not married, does it mean that she is 'brand new'?

who can say that she has never had a physical relationship in her entire life 😆.

Maybe she's not a virgin either.

They were also looking at that urmi devi's daughter (the lady whom they met at the temple)... and that girl had an mba and was working in the city. it is highly conceivable that she might have had a boyfriend too.

I dont know why this prejudice against anandi only. 😡😡

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Jiya

@jiya25

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20

Posted: 13 years ago

#2

i don't think she meant virginal, i think she meant first-time bride by nayi naveli.

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tinoo

@tinoo

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Posted: 13 years ago

#3

Originally posted by: jiya25
i don't think she meant virginal, i think she meant first-time bride by nayi naveli.

first time bride is "polite code" for virginal dear. 😊

what is the difference between a first time bride and a second time bride?

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

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+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#4

I would have understood if she is objecting to a divorcee coming into the family as Shiv's bride because she is worried about the emotional baggage the divorcee may be carrying.

If the objection is solely because of the fact that she wants nayi naveli dulhan that is really pathetic.

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tinoo

@tinoo

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Posted: 13 years ago

#5

yes exactly. I too would have understood her objections if she exercised a voice of caution and asked "Is there a clean break between the ex-husband and anandi? what if he tries to harm shiv?"...

or "will anandi be able to fully trust a man again, now that her first experience of marriage has gone bad?"

or something like that.

The way she alluded to it was not in good taste.

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Jiya

@jiya25

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Posted: 13 years ago

#6

'nayi naveli dulhan' - the term in india has always been equated with thoughts of a young girl entering into her sasural and all its relationships for the first time, with bright eyes and innocent heart looking forward to knowing the new man in her life.

even if a boy marries his long time girlfriend, the girl is considered a nayi naveli dulhan by his family members because she is new to the institution of marriage and all its relationships and responsibilities. that's how it was for my family at least.

i think here the issue is more about this being her second marriage to her being a virgin.

but i guess everyone has their own interpretation of the term.

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tinoo

@tinoo

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Posted: 13 years ago

#7

Originally posted by: jiya25
'nayi naveli dulhan' - the term in india has always been equated with thoughts of a young girl entering into her sasural and all its relationships for the first time, with bright eyes and innocent heart looking forward to knowing the new man in her life.

but i guess everyone has their own interpretation of the term.

Your interpretation of the term would have been okay if aunt had met anandi, seen the tension between anandi and shiv, realized that anandi is reluctant and has emotional baggage. AND THEN USED THE TERM 'NAYI NAVELI' to indicate that anandi has no enthusiasm, no bright eyes and comes with a heavy heart.

Since she had not met anandi when she made that statement, she has no way of knowing that anandi is not totally in love with shiv and looking forward to the new man in her life. For all she knew, anandi might have been equally keen as shiv.

consequently, the only interpretation that can be drawn given the timing of aunt's objections is the physical relationship with another aspect.

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

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Posted: 13 years ago

#8

Originally posted by: jiya25
'nayi naveli dulhan' - the term in india has always been equated with thoughts of a young girl entering into her sasural and all its relationships for the first time, with bright eyes and innocent heart looking forward to knowing the new man in her life.

even if a boy marries his long time girlfriend, the girl is considered a nayi naveli dulhan by his family members because she is new to the institution of marriage and all its relationships and responsibilities. that's how it was for my family at least.

i think here the issue is more about this being her second marriage to her being a virgin.

but i guess everyone has their own interpretation of the term.

The word Nayi naveli dulhan may mean brand new bride.You mean to say the girl not being a virgin is not a problem any more with the boy's family?

I did not realise that virginity is not an issue with Indian conservative society any more.

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avivakirk

@avivakirk

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29

Posted: 13 years ago

#9

Some really good pointers👏 ! Looks like it even if some people are more educated and sophisticated city dwellers their mind set is sometimes more uncouth than the village folk...Also looking at in a different direction there is nothing wrong if a man strays(there would be excuses found for him) but still a woman should always be a virgin . Double standards I would say ..What's right for the gander is not fit for the goose.

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Nazneen

@SiriuslySujal

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Posted: 13 years ago

#10

I interpreted nayi naveli dulhan as just "first-time bride" rather than "virginal bride". I got the feeling that Chhoti Maa probably judged Anandi by her divorcee status... like that she must have done something wrong for her husband to leave her, or she must have emotional baggage or be loose or something. I get the feeling Chhoti Maa has some dark past that's yet to be revealed that will explain her strange behaviour. Or maybe she's kind of jealous that Anandi's getting a second chance at a married life when she didn't or something. We'll have to wait and see! Maybe the CVs are trying to show the sort of judgement and censure a lot of divorced women probably face from society. Could be anything! Let's wait and watch 😊

I do agree about the general hypocrisy of wanting a female to be a virgin before marriage, but not having the same requirement for a male, though... that is just 😡-inducing.

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shiv's aunt's problem

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