Shiv's family is irrational - Page 5

@aparnauma - you said it right and I am happy at least someone understood what I am trying to say.

Originally posted by: Shinya

@aparnauma - you said it right and I am happy at least someone understood what I am trying to say.

@mishti31 - "... She never forced Asha/Gulli to remarry or sth lyk tht... " please be kind to explain where in my comments I said that

Anyway, I enjoyed this discussion and got to know so many people on this board.

Thanks

@Shinya: Grieving for a failed marriage has nothing to do with being a "mental victim", I'm sure you know that. Being ditched by your partner of EIGHTEEN years is no meagre pain, in Jaistsar or Jersey. You need time to move on, while keeping yourself meaningfully diverted/engaged/invested. Anandi has been shown doing JUST THAT. She ain't the Village Head for nothing.
As for your assertion that Anandi could not have done what she did for Asha/Gulli/Phooli without Bhairon's wealth/help, that point is moot. No social reform/movement has ever succeeded without emotional or moral support.
Overall, BV is steering along the correct tract.

Originally posted by: Shinya

@Perseus- dont jump to conclusions without understandng the meaning of a phrase/sentence. It makes an unintelligent argument!

"Even when Gauri was pregnant, she didnt think of divorcing him and letting him free" .. this was in response to someone who said "anandi let him free"...we all know that she didnt let him free. He and gauri were set free by his own grandmother dadisa by asking anandi to sign the divorce papers even to the extent that she promised that she would never pressurise anandi for second marriage.

Going in for a divorce was a defeat according to anandi. she did not do it willingly. she felt pride in being jagya's wife although he was living with another woman. it was her victory over gauri that she could never make gauri feel like a legal wife. Having another man is not at all her goal. Her goal was to get jagya back. The divorce has made her a loser to gauri.

It was not her "responsibility" to give legal status to the "mistress". But in my opinion one must practice what he speaks. At one point anandi had said in reference to the unborn child "uss masoom ki kya galati?" . If she really cared for the massom, then giving legitimate status to the child was within her means.

according to me she is only an ordinary human who is a victim of circumastances, a "bechhari" sorry-figure who cant do justice to herself.

-APOLOGIES FOR THE LONG POST. Please read my opinion, if you can spare some time & tell me your views.

Hi Shinya

My words were not an accusation towards you. I read your words, in fact I have been silently following your argument, like I follow all discussions here on the forum. All people are virtual here, so one can't know anyone in reality. Therefore the written word becomes the mirror to each person's soul. What each person says or comments here, reflects his/her own thinking/prejudice/attitude/analysis. So, when I read everything, I could see a pattern in your thinking and so I advised you. Rest is up to you, in what sense you would want to take it. But this is assured that, I didn't mean it as an insult or offense.

About Anandi -
1. Yes she was coerced by her in-laws to marry, but she steadfastly refused. She even refused her mother when she was on death bed. But she agreed after her death, thinking that she should fulfill her mother's last wish. All the decisions that we take in life are often molded by circumstances. But the decision to fulfill her mother's wish, the decision to now marry Shiv, after refusing him for so long has been by her own accord. So she is someone who wants to fulfill her mother's wishes and marry the guy. So what? That's her attitude in life and her decision to make. She has taken the stance in life where she has decided to get married to Shiv. She has herself asked him to marry him. Then how is she a martyr? She has taken the decision in her hand and told herself that she wants to go ahead with this. So how is she the victim here?

She was the victim only when she was duped and dumped by her husband. In my opinion, she has come out of it very gracefully. In life, a person in her position would have easily become negative and poisonous, but she chose to be positive. I think that's her personal belief in life, to be respected. And she has always taken a stand against Jagat & fought back, when SHE thinks that the limits have been crossed. That's for sure.

2. About her succeeding with the support of Bhairon and family. - Well that's of course acceptable. How many people in life succeed just by themselves, completely alone? When some one is trying to bring a change to a system, they have to be part of the system to change it. They need it's support ultimately. All the leaders in this world can't succeed by standing alone in a desert. They need the resources - money from the corporate, power from their position, support of the people to succeed. I just mentioned 3 here, but in this ecosystem, there are a lot of other things too. So of course anyone who's working towards a better trend for society would need some backing. But the point to think about is, how is that person able to bring that change? How is that person able to mobilise resources? Can a Gehna/Sugna/Sumitra do it, with similar resources? It's got more to do with a strong character, an infleuncer, a motivator, some one who can empathize and fight for the people. That's how Anandi is and that's how she has become sarpanch, a leader of the village. So it's her personality, her own person that's responsible for helping people, but yes with the AID of Bhairon and family. Which is perfectly acceptable.


3. My reply to your post about " becoming self-sustained, standing on her own feet and becoming financially secure" . Well she is the youngest, first woman sarpanch of her village. She is definitely self sustained and independent. What's the arguement here? Do you think she is not independent because she is staying with her family?

And here are my final words about her -

It's only when the journey is about to come to conclusion, can we declare whether a person is a martyr or a fighter. She is going through ordeal after another, yet she is stoic. And I am sure, with more episodes, she will re surge as a fighter and victorious.

Let's wait and watch.

Dear Perseus, my answer came out from you. You answered the question as to why she did not initiate divorce by stating that she did not officially want to separate from Singh family. She came there as a bahu, so Jagya was the bond between her and his family. Divorcing him was cutting off the relationship which she did not want. So she felt pride in remaining there as his wife. If she did not want the marriage to end, then it is assumed that she wanted their union again which means she wanted jagya to come back to her.

Anandi did not give food to gauri like she gave to begger. She was the only one who understood gauri's mind, she understood that gauri's taunts and screams were her insecurities. She said it to jagya once not to do that to gauri which he did to her. Then what should she have done? May I ask my dear friends Perseus and others who justify Anandi decision's of not initiating divorce this question? If she did not want jagya to ditch gauri and if she did not want divorce either, then what was the next option? She live alone in his house and he keep gauri as his mistress forever? was that anandi's solution to the problem?

In my opinion by initiating divorce, she wouldnt let jagya free. But she would set herself free from the trauma that she has gone thru. Giving divorce does not mean you have to enter another relationship immediately. With a peaceful mind she could have served the society better without getting anyone's sympathy, unless sympathy or pity was what she wanted. If sympathy from people is her biggest asset, then it is fine. what she did is ok. she has got loads of it.

If she needed time get over her divorce, then dadisa and family should have given it to her instead of forcing her into marriage with shiv. But dadisa had her fears that if she waited longer, then she might lose shiv. However, Shiv said it right that 'jaldabazi mein koi decision nahi lena chahiye'. This it self is a warning to a forthcoming new problem.