Inconvenient Love
"Mayank do you love me?"
His breath caught in his throat as her words registered in his mind. Was not it the same question he wanted to skip always? It did not mean he had past or something but the fact that he had never tried to bring "Love" in his life.
His face tightened with panic and fell, the silence stretching between them until she began to feel uncomfortable, she inhaled oxygen before speaking, "Mayank,I asked you something??" She tried to sound tough, but there was a painful rasp in her voice. Her fingers digging into sheet and salty tears gathered at the corners of her lids, threatening to escape, "Nupur can-can we talk something else?" The muscles in his throat worked as he swallowed hard and she experienced a stab of disappointment so profound her stomach did a sickening flip, she knew he wanted to change the topic but she was determined to get the answer, "I want answer of my question" Her whole body was aching and her tongue was shaking with fear, Fear of Rejection.
"What do you want to listen, Truth or Lie?"He took deep breath
"Truth" She gave a choked sound.
Say you love me,Mayank. Say you want to marry me because you love me'not because your mother want to see us happily married couple, Say you love me, and push all this tension, differences away. She prayed in her heart.
"Please say truth" She drew in a deep breath and, though she tried valiantly for control, her chin trembled with emotions.She was bleeding inside and she wanted the pain to stop. Her throat had squeezed so tightly shut she could no longer speak.
"i--i---don't love you Nupur But you are the only girl in my life and trust me when I got the meaning of love that would be for you"
She felt a teardrops escape from beneath her lashes, you was mad Nupur,dumb who thought he loves you, Tears clouded her eyes, Her throat closed tight and something seemed to break apart inside her, a sob escaped from her lips and Mayank's heart sank in guilt he knew she could not understand him that what the reason he never opened up his heart infront of her, he knew she would not understand him ever, "Nupur!!!Are you crying?" his voice choked, "No" She swallowed hard as tears rolled down her cheeks and Mayank allowed several seconds to pass before he continued as he was really feeling short of words today. The great, intelligent Mayak Sharma who never faced defeat today was feeling less of words to console her fiance, to say her he did not meant that what she understood. He swallowed hard
"Nupur please don't cry, try to understand me, I cant lie to you, trust me these feelings are not in my hand, sometimes It's very difficult to put into words your feelings especially when you are not quite certain what those feelings are, I don't know, love, I swear. But if it offers you any comfort, I'm drowning in confusion too. I know I like you and I want to spend my life with you"
Against his principals he was opening up his heart, entrusting her with his innermost feelings, allowing her to see what was in his heart for her, telling her truth, "Bye Mayank" she said with some spirit. Her throat ached and she wished desperately to cry, but she controlled the urge because she did not want to break down in front of him.
"Nupur pleaseee"
He wished desperately that he could renounce his statement, but how could he do that. He threw the cell phone in frustration and closed his eyes leaning back against head rest.
"Why don't you understand me Nupur??Why don't you?
A nervous quivering began deep in her body and moved with a purpose to the surface of her skin. She reached out to grab the sheet in an effort to steady herself, but her knees gave away and she slipped to the bed. Too weak to move, she lay there as a great wave of grief overwhelmed her. And then she wept in earnest, wrenching sobs of total despair. She sat in the room and tried to put the pieces of her heart. She did not know when she sleep.
She opened her eyes with the knock on door, "Nupur!!!Mom is calling you,Are you alright?its almost noon..Why are you still sleeping?"
It was Dia voice, she gathered herself and sprang out of bed quickly, "come in Dia,I am awake" She wandered over to the window and pushed back the curtains to pretend she was alright but Tears clouded her eyes.
"Are you alright?"her weak voice was enough for Dia to understand there was something wrong with her though Nupur trying hard to hide her emotions.
"Yes,I am absolutely alright? Why are you getting suspicious about me?" She continued to face the window because she didn't want Dia to see that she'd been crying.
"You and Mayank had fight??Didn't you? She knew her sister very well . "Mayank and i are always fight..i feel we are not meant to be together" Fresh tears clouded her eyes and her voice choked dangerously, "Nupur!!!"Dia concernedly held her shoulders and turned her towards her.
"What happened???Why are you crying?"Dia raised her hands and cupped her face.
Nupur felt soft touch and her throat tightened with the havoc of emotions, "Mayank does not love me Dia"she hugged her sister tightly and finally cried out her heart,Dia eyes widened with numbness but then she patted her arm and rubbed her back, "Mayank loves you Nupur that's why you both are together, you know how much proposal he had rejected but he chooses you because he loves you, I know he is very much personal about his feelings but I have seen care, concern and something more in his eyes for you, I am sure he loves you, may be he himself doest not know about his feelings."
"No,he said me, he doest not love me"she sobbed in between her tears.
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