'I broke my wife's teeth...

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doyel

@doyelpakhi

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

@bizzylizzy

nicely written! :)

Actually, the problem with this serial is that the CVs have mixed up mental problem issue along with domestic violence.

They have not portrayed Viraj as the typical MCP. He has been portrayed as a person with acute mental illness along with chauvinistic attitude.

If Viraj Dobriyal would have been a selfish MCP,

- he would not have behaved the way he behaves with the people outside his home
- he would not have got angry for most bizarre reasons
- he would not have been so meticulous about cleanliness and order
- he would not have thought about doing plastic surgery of another woman to make her look like Jahnvi
- and most importantly, he would not have been obsessive enough to put a stake of his life, career, comfort and even identity just to get back his wife. 😲

Since it has been hinted time and again that he has been subjected to some traumatic childhood experience which led to this distorted personality, he is getting the sympathy of the audience.

Of course, it is a blunder from the side of the CVs - if they really wanted to focus on domestic violence only, they should not have mixed up two issues and should have shown some realistic approach to deal with domestic violence.

Sadly, we are ultimately watching a potboiler with little connection to reality.

Edited by doyelpakhi - 13 years ago

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BizzyLizzy

@BizzyLizzy

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: doyelpakhi
@bizzylizzy

nicely written! :)

Actually, the problem with this serial is that the CVs have mixed up mental problem issue along with domestic violence.

They have not portrayed Viraj as the typical MCP. He has been portrayed as a person with acute mental illness along with chauvinistic attitude.

If Viraj Dobriyal would have been a selfish MCP,

- he would not have behaved the way he behaves with the people outside his home
- he would not have got angry for most bizarre reasons
- he would not have been so meticulous about cleanliness and order
- he would not have thought about doing plastic surgery of another woman to make her look like Jahnvi
- and most importantly, he would not have been obsessive enough to put a stake of his life, career, comfort and even identity just to get back his wife. 😲

Since it has been hinted time and again that he has been subjected to some traumatic childhood experience which led to this distorted personality, he is getting the sympathy of the audience.

Of course, it is a blunder from the side of the CVs - if they really wanted to focus on domestic violence only, they should not have mixed up two issues and should have shown some realistic approach to deal with domestic violence.

Sadly, we are ultimately watching a potboiler with little connection to reality.

I'm actually quite happy they chose to have him 'suffer' from a Personality Disorder, because at the end of the day I do believe that the message is -- you can't use a psychological disorder as an excuse for the way you act. Especially with a disorder like OCPD, which definitely does not have 'uncontrollable desire to be violent' listed as one of its symptoms. Whether it's Jhanvi who suffers or the maid, his employees, the doctor he falsely promised to leave alive, he has no right to destroy the lives that he has...and there is very little of an actual connection between his OCPD and the way he tortures people, especially women.

Nor is a traumatic childhood an excuse. Yes, a number of rape/torture/trauma victims do become perpetrators, but if you notice...once they become perpetrators, they lose whatever sympathy they may have ever had as victims...and for a reason. Once you do what your perpetrator is done, you're reduced to their level. You're no better and just as the perpetrator deserved no mercy, nor do you.

Just the fact that he wanted Priya to copy Jhanvi and have her face changed to Jhanvi's, shows exactly how little he regards Jhanvi as a human being. Because at the end of the day, for Viraaj, that's all Jhanvi is. Her face, her fear and her mannerisms -- was that all there was to Jhanvi? He didn't give a flying frisbee about Jhanvi's "dil" until he realised that Priya was a gold-digger. Sounds like the way most MCPs objectify their women 😊

Besides, what did he say when Jhanvi 'died'? That God had no right to punish her because as her 'Parmeshwar' only he had that right! It wasn't grief that made him hold on to her kalash, it was frustration at how powerless he was. When he staked his life (false, no one was after his life in the first place, the only reason he got into an accident was his own carelessness and Tanisha's), career (Not at stake either. It was his company, a company that was doing successfully and where most of his employees were frightened enough by him to keep it going in his absence. He was always planning to come back, and once the ML track began I'm sure he would have notified an extended leave for that as well), comfort (Again, false. As soon as he came to Delhi he booked an entire hotel. Plus, he's treated like royalty by the Singhanias, except for maybe Raghav. Doesn't look like lack of comfort to me) or identity (False. He just hid his real identity from the family and banked on Jhanvi not telling), it was more or less to get back the life he had with Jhanvi. Let's remember...he'd already had the chance to take what Jhanvi said seriously, that he was suffering from a disorder and that he needed treatment, and he'd not taken that chance seriously.

End of the day, that's what Viraaj is all about -- power. That's what domestic violence, or any form of violence, is about -- establishing your power over another human being against their will. Having him suffer from a disorder was a risky, but challenging, thing to do if you're going to put the message across that no man -- no matter what he's gone through or what disease he has -- is worth working on a marriage with if he can't be bothered to see you as anything but a toy for him to play with.

You and I may see it as unrealistic, but not a lot of the TRP audience, some of whom are inspired enough by a Viraaj-figure to want to emulate him. Reality or not, the audience will soak it in like a sponge, and that has very little to do with 'sympathy' and a lot to do with hero-worship and a fascination with Viraaj's style.

Edited by BizzyLizzy - 13 years ago

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vandana

@VandyP

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: doyelpakhi
@bizzylizzy

nicely written! :)

Actually, the problem with this serial is that the CVs have mixed up mental problem issue along with domestic violence.

They have not portrayed Viraj as the typical MCP. He has been portrayed as a person with acute mental illness along with chauvinistic attitude.

If Viraj Dobriyal would have been a selfish MCP,

- he would not have behaved the way he behaves with the people outside his home
- he would not have got angry for most bizarre reasons
- he would not have been so meticulous about cleanliness and order
- he would not have thought about doing plastic surgery of another woman to make her look like Jahnvi
- and most importantly, he would not have been obsessive enough to put a stake of his life, career, comfort and even identity just to get back his wife. 😲

Since it has been hinted time and again that he has been subjected to some traumatic childhood experience which led to this distorted personality, he is getting the sympathy of the audience.

Of course, it is a blunder from the side of the CVs - if they really wanted to focus on domestic violence only, they should not have mixed up two issues and should have shown some realistic approach to deal with domestic violence.

Sadly, we are ultimately watching a potboiler with little connection to reality.

how long will this excuse of MCP and OCPD go on??

thats y one feels ashamed as a woman.../coz females themselves seem to justify his acts...

lets us keep this issue of domestic violence and so called illness of viraj aside...

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butterfly15..

@butterfly15..

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Great post.

Only the person who is hurt seems to remember the pain but the one inflicting it feels like everything is fine.
I think society is to blame as it makes women believe they have to bow down to their husbands and it gives men the belief that they have the right to do whatever they like.

What makes these real life stories even harder to take in is that these men are perfectly fine mentally. At least with Viraj we know he has a mental illness, and although it doesn't make his actions any easier to take in, we at least know he isn't just doing it because he can. That's why to me the real life stories are far more terrifying, as beating almost seems like the norm for these people.😭

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BizzyLizzy

@BizzyLizzy

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: -vandy-

liz...do u feel jahnvi can set an example???

i really do not think so...the cvs and the team which is a male dominated one...will never let her set an example for women...

Vandy, if for instance Jhanvi does go back to Viraaj (which I myself think is really unlikely unless she is eventually so threatened and traumatized by what he may do in the Singhania house that she will finally agree), I think she will still be seen as an example -- albeit a cautionary one. Because if she goes back I think there's very little chance of Viraaj changing (that is what happened in two cases shown in the SMJ episode -- both the women went back after a hundred promises that their men would change -- and eventually faced the same abuse. If CVs do show her going back, in all possibility she might be shown facing the same violence and living in the same hell. That should count for some kind of cautionary advice.

If however they pretend that Viraaj will suddenly fall at her feet and beg forgiveness, and that Jhanvi will accept him with open-arms, like nothing had happened, and they all live happily ever after...THAT I'll see as utterly unrealistic. Not the apology, not the acceptance, but that Jhanvi will ever achieve normalcy after coming back the way she went.

Edited by BizzyLizzy - 13 years ago

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381490

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: BizzyLizzy
You and I may see it as unrealistic, but not a lot of the TRP audience, some of whom are inspired enough by a Viraaj-figure to want to emulate him. Reality or not, the audience will soak it in like a sponge, and that has very little to do with 'sympathy' and a lot to do with hero-worship and a fascination with Viraaj's style.

Word to your entire post, Biz, and as for bold: Spot on. Hard fact.

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vandana

@VandyP

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: BizzyLizzy

Vandy, if for instance Jhanvi does go back to Viraaj (which I myself think is really unlikely unless she is eventually so threatened and traumatized by what he may do in the Singhania house that she will finally agree), I think she will still be seen as an example -- albeit a cautionary one. Because if she goes back I think there's very little chance of Viraaj changing (that is what happened in two cases shown in the SMJ episode -- both the women went back after a hundred promises that their men would change -- and eventually faced the same abuse. If CVs do show her going back, in all possibility she might be shown facing the same violence and living in the same hell. That should count for some kind of cautionary advice.

If however they pretend that Viraaj will suddenly fall at her feet and beg forgiveness, and that Jhanvi will accept him with open-arms, like nothing had happened, and they all live happily ever after...THAT I'll see as utterly unrealistic. Not the apology, not the acceptance, but that Jhanvi will ever achieve normalcy after coming back the way she went.

liz...seeing the way things r shaping up...

i've lost all hopes

coz the latest promo clearly indicates that krishh will be a victim of viraj...and we know that'll be the final blow...

either sia will go back with viraj...or she'll make sure viraj curses the day he was born...

seeing sia these days...the first scenario looks more like happening...

@ bold

the cvs and the ppl behind the show will show this...reason as i clearly said in my first reply...its afterall the men who r making this show...

that feeling of power...they would always want it to prevail!

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sub_rosa

@sub_rosa

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: -vandy-
how long will this excuse of MCP and OCPD go on??
thats y one feels ashamed as a woman.../coz females themselves seem to justify his acts...

lets us keep this issue of domestic violence and so called illness of viraj aside...

Analyzing Viraj's POV is not the same as 'justifying' his acts or 'sympathizing' with him! And MCP is not a disease...it stands for Male Chauvinist Pig!

@Doyel...I so agree with you, particularly the bit in blue! The message in this show is that there is no message!

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Gayatri

@FeistyQueen

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

our society has not moved from bygone days!

its shocking to see people defining beating up their wife as love for them!

i remember the driver lady who came in satyameva jayate!

i don't remember the exact words but when asked is it safe of ladies to be driver then their reply on it was true! sufferings inside home is more cruel than cruelties outside!

an aunt of mine who underwent domestic violence finally broke off her marriage so the so called concerned people from this barbaric society asked her to rethink her decision for the sake of her kids! "how can a kids live without father?" well i believe like she decided! "living with no father is much better than living with an abusive father"

others were like "adjust, u lived these many years, so adjust" oh yea, they meant just like a sip of ur bed tea or coffee take in ur husbands beating and torture as a part of ur daily routine!!

coming to eve teasing and stalking! goodness our society is full of romeos and majnuns and devdas! what can girls do!! "poor they loves u truly don't break their heart!!" i believe this is what been preached to girls by our beloved society !!!

long way to catch up with post modern era still society got stuck up in the stone age!!

move ahead else every men will make "long live domestic violence their motto"