I am not a active member on this forum but a true silent reader. I love to read all your thoughts, live updates and written updates, see your videos and read all the OSs, SSs and FFs. Thank you for all this.
The current track is getting on my nerves. I am disappointed that the CVs don't talk about the Holi happenings anymore. Instead of that they are punishing us with crap Anita scenes. No offense to the actress but Anita is too much to tolerate.
So coming to the reason to write this post. I had an idea for a SS after Anita's true colours showed in the show and Ahem's silence. Today I decided to write my thoughts down.
This is my first creative attempt. So bear with me. Moreover my English is not so good. I am a tamil, born and grown up in Germany. So English is my third language. I know it is a Hindi show but i can't understand, speak or read it. So excuse me, i am not able to post it in Hindi 😕
And I know we have seen enough painful scenes of Gopi. But i need to write this painful first chapter to start my Story. Enjoy reading. I am waiting for your comments.
My heart breaks into a million pieces
Chapter One
"If my heart breaks into a million pieces, I want you to have every bit of it. Then I'll ask you to scatter them across the sky. There they'll turn into stars so everyone could see how much I love you."
Imagine the Scene in which Ahem stopped Anita's wedding with Arvind.
Gopi could not believe what she heard. Once again her heart broke into million pieces. Without realising she stepped back but she waited. Her hope always died at last. Please Ahemji, explain why you are refusing, please. But Ahem just said: Trust me mum and walked off. Trust? How often should I trust you Ahemji? Why should I trust you? Gopi was shattered. She did not know how to react. She left the spot and went into her room. Her heart was paining. Gopi did not want to go down and behave like nothing happened. She decided to go to the mandir to set her mind free. She did not care about preparing lunch. She walked downstairs. No one was there, just Meethi. She informed Meethi(Meethi was confused that Gopi wanted to go out at this time, but did not question anything. She saw that her lovely Gopi bhabi looked pale and lost) and walked to her Kannaji temple.
On her way to the temple, she had different flashbacks. Ahem confessing that he married the wrong girl. Ahem holding Anita's hand and reassuring her that he will support her. Ahem shouting at her that Anita would have known how to behave at a party. Ahem stopping Anita's marriage. Anita and Ahem together on bed on Anita's wedding day.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She was already a wrack when she reached the mandir. She was standing in front of the Kanna-idol. She could not control her emotions. She sank into her knees and began to cry. This was the only way she knew to show her emotions. She cried when she was sad or happy or angry. But most of her tears were caused by sadness.
She began to question Kannaji:
Oh kannaji, I am so confused. There are so many questions. I don't know what to do. When I am trying to look forward, something bad happens again.
You gifted me the worlds most wonderful parents. But when I needed them the most, you took them away. I was shattered but Mamaji promised to look after me. I thought everything will be fine now. But I realized that I was a burden there. Then maaji came to our house with a rishta for Rashi behen. But she gave me the gifts. Why did she choose me? I was confused at first. How could I live a life my sister was ready to live? But I thought you will have your reasons for bringing this U-turn in my life. I was happy. I will get a family that cares or me, a husband who loves me and maybe I will have my own family soon. I was ready for this new life. My happiness was within one's reach. With all this hopes I was ready to start my life. But soon my husband made clear that he can not love me bacause he is already in love with another girl. I am an unpar gawar who is not worth his love and care. I did not give up because my in-laws where showering me with love. I tried my best to fulfil the duties of a wife and a daughter in law even after taking back my marriage vows. With starting my education I felt that Ahemji began to respect me. And my accident showed that he really cared for me. Did I imagine this all? Or was it always because of humanity? If so what is the reason for that what happened on Holi, Kannaji? Ahemji confessed me, that he had fallen in love with me. Was it all a lie because he was physically attracted to me? Were my woman instincts wrong? Did I do wrong in giving the man, I was loving more than myself my body and soul? I thought I belong to him now after all what happened. Why did he forget this wonderful evening? I am feeling so low but it was one of my promises I made on the day of our marriage: I will strive to please you in every way I can. (No, it is not a blopper. I know she took back her vows. But you know Gopi. She will fullfil her duties to the death)
Oh God, why is everything going wrong?
Kannaji, why are you testing me? What have I done wrong? I swear I did not do anything wrong intentionally. Please forgive me if I did something without realising. I know you have always your reasons. But I really can not tolerate this pain anymore. I am a burden to everyone. I am taking everyone's happiness away. I just have one wish. Ahemji and his family should get all the happiness they deserve. The only way for their happiness is no Gopi. Please take my life. I will accept this happily because I know that I would be able to serve you there as your true devotee. Please grant me this last wish!
To be continued...
Chapter 2 on page 8
Chapter 3 on page 12
