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ABHEERA IN JAIL 2.9
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LIFE IN JAIL 2.9
Jee Le Zaraa Is Happening
Thank you! =DOriginally posted by: ashred12
nice portrayal of his pain...waiting for sec part..
Originally posted by: MaankigopiMadhu
Wonderful depiction of pain ... waiting for part 2 :D ... please update soon :D
Originally posted by: Dalmuthuya
This is beautifully written. So descriptive of his feelings. Please update soon. :)
How the Mighty have Fallen - Part 2
Arnav let out a heart-wrenching scream. He poured everything into it; his self-loathing, shame, regret, guilt, pain, love, helplessness and heart-break. It had all coalesced into one as the scream was drawn forcefully out of his body; coming from the very depths of his soul.
Why?!
Why he did throw away the best thing that's ever happened to him?
He always thought happiness evaded him but he realised he was wrong. HE was the one who pushed it away; too frightened to give his heart up completely so he could attain it. Khushi was the key to his happiness. He loved her but hadn't trusted her nearly enough.
Once again, Arnav found himself going back in time. As he recollected, he tried to think of something he should have said or done differently, so he wouldn't have been faced with the unbearable situation he found himself in now. It happened only a few hours ago and yet it felt like a lifetime had passed between now and then.
Arnav entered their bedroom, hoping Khushi was asleep so he didn't have to face her. They had returned from Khushi's mayka early that day, both subdued. Him, because he could not get rid of Khushi's immeasurably sad face as she lied to her mother about being happily married to him. The last night they had stayed in the Gupta haveli, he overheard Khushi lying through her teeth as she reassured her mother that Arnav was the best husband in the world, who looked after her and fulfilled her every wish. With each lie and tear, Arnav had felt an intense pang of guilt. He supposed she was subdued for being reminded of the reality of her married life once again.
Arnav yearned to take her in his arms and hold her; to wordlessly reassure her that she can depend on him. But he controlled the urge with the force of his willpower; not giving in to his moment of weakness.
Then just before the door opened, Khushi straightened her shoulders and plastered a bright smile to her face as she saw Anjali open the door.
Again, this induced another feud between Arnav's heart and mind. His heart was trying to reason with him; to make him re-evaluate the situation. Why would Khushi try so hard to prove to everyone that there were no problems in their marriage? For someone as unscrupulous as he thought her to be, she cared a lot for both families. For someone who wanted to break the marriage of his sister and her close friend, she showed no signs of malice towards neither her nor any of his family members. Not even Maami, even though Khushi had good reason to. Ever since they got married Arnav observed Khushi closely, to see if her behaviour towards his family had changed. He realised now that it hadn't. She still did everything in her power to please and look after them. The way she won back the hearts of his Naani and Di, after they found out they married in haste ' was a testament to the fact.
His mind mercilessly crushed the protests of his heart with the one fact that he knew was certain. He had seen Shyam hugging Khushi and afterwards heard that she wanted him to break his marriage with Anjali. What more proof did he need to know that Khushi was a greedy gold digger! His heart tried to object but Arnav ignored it, choosing to side with his brain instead. Nevertheless, the niggling doubts still remained.
Arnav had enough of the internal war inside him. So, as he breezed past Anjali; after issuing a curt 'Hello', he announced that he was going to work straight away. He didn't want to be near Khushi; afraid that seeing her work so hard to appear cheerful whilst seeing the lingering sadness in her eyes would break down his resolve.
Now it was 11pm and after a gruelling day at work, where he purposefully immersed himself in as much work as possible so he would have no time to think, he entered his bedroom to see Khushi sitting on the bed, wide awake. The only light came from the open window, the moonlight falling on her angelic face. She was sitting completely still and staring straight ahead, at nothing in particular. But as he entered, her head whipped to the side and their eyes met.
The look in her eyes almost undid him. For one instant she looked so lost, vulnerable and alone. So young. Arnav could feel himself relenting; wanting to comfort her, to chase away all her fears and to take care of her. To be her support. But then that bleak look in her eyes was shielded a moment later as she lowered her gaze.
He felt angry at himself for lowering his guard and experiencing yet another moment of weakness, which happened more and more frequently ever since he married her 3 months ago. So when he addressed her, his voice came out harsher than he expected.
'Why haven't you gone to sleep?'
She flinched at his hard tone but then he saw her jaw set determinedly as she met his gaze without hesitation. 'We need to talk.'
Arnav tensed, 'Can we talk another time? I'm tired and I just want to sleep. It's been a long day.' Arnav was heading towards the bathroom when Khushi intercepted him, blocking his path. He could feel the anger simmering inside him but he controlled himself.
'This really can't wait. We need to talk now.'
Arnav forced himself to listen as Khushi went on.
'I need to know why you married me. Why you blackmailed me 3 months ago and have subjected me to this half-life we are living. It is clear that you hate me, can't even bear the sight of me even. So why? Why are you torturing both of us? What have I done to deserve this? You said I hurt you yet you won't tell me anything else. How did I hurt you? Please tell me.'
Arnav gritted his teeth as he remained stoically silent, not trusting himself to speak.
Khushi carried on but he could hear her voice breaking. 'I can't take anymore. I can't. Just yesterday amma asked me if I was happy being married to you. How on earth could I tell her that I wasn't? That behind closed doors you treat me coldly, so cruelly. Taunting me and punishing me for a crime I do not know I committed.'
Arnav felt the guilt awash him as he remembered the scene between daughter and mother yesterday. How Khushi made their sham of a marriage sound like a blissful one.
Khushi ploughed on, 'I feel suffocated staying in this house as your wife, knowing I cannot tell anyone about the circumstances in which you married me. Why don't you just free yourself from this? I know you hate me, ever since you met me you've shown it. Let us live our own lives and end this suffering!'
Arnav snapped. His arms shot up to hold Khushi's arms in a punishing unyielding grip. 'So you can get back together with Shyam and break my di's marriage?'
Finally he spoke the venomous words, the words which had plagued his mind for the last 3 months yet never said aloud. He had been afraid, afraid that once he spoke those words, the consequences would be catastrophic and their lives would change forever.
'What...' Khushi looked like she had received an almighty blow, devastated with the unexpected retort. But Arnav saw the guilt mixed with her shock and it spurred him on, the damning words spewing out of his mouth uncontrollably.
'Don't act innocent Khushi, it won't work with me. I saw with my own eyes. You and jeejaji,' he emphasised the last word with disgust. 'The two of you cavorting on the night of your sister's wedding, touching and hugging each other.'
Finally, Arnav had finished. He thought once he voiced out his pent-up frustration and anger he would feel relieved; free of the burden he had been carrying all this while. Instead he felt sick to the core. He never knew he was capable of such poisonous words and as he finally looked up to see Khushi's face, he was shocked by what he saw. Shocked and very scared.
Khushi looked completely and utterly shattered. Her face had taken on a deathly pallor and her eyes, her big expressive eyes, looked empty. She looked like a corpse and Arnav had never been so scared in his life seeing the transformation Khushi had undergone.
Khushi did neither. Instead she turned around and walked to the bedside table, she picked up her phone that lay atop of it. She returned back to her original position, opposite Arnav, and spoke again, using that same emotionless voice, 'I want you to listen. Don't do anything at all until this conversation finishes, no matter how much you may want to. It's important that you don't. I'm going to put it on loudspeaker so you can hear every word that's been exchanged. This is my answer to all your accusations.'
Arnav felt the dread build up in the pit of his stomach. But all he could do was watch and wait.
Khushi searched for Shyam's number and pressed the call button, making sure she also pressed the loudspeaker button right after. The phone started to ring, the noise too harsh and too loud in the otherwise deadly silent bedroom.
On the second ring, the call was answered and a sickeningly sweet and familiar voice emanated from the phone, the shock and happiness obvious from the tone of his voice.
'Khushiji? Khushiji! I can't believe it! I had to rub my eyes when I saw your name as the caller ID. It has been so long since you've called me, I was beginning to despair that you had forgotten about me.'
Arnav's eyes blazed with renewed fury as he heard his two-timing brother-in-law on the phone.
Khushi was looking down at the phone as Shyam spoke. When he paused, she shuddered in disgust involuntarily. Arnav noticed.
'Yes, it's me Shyamji. Khushi. I wanted to talk to you.'
'Of course. Anything for you Khushiji,' came the eager response.
'You were right Shyamji. I'm not happy in this marriage. Arnavji blackmailed me into it.'
Arnav immediately looked up at Khushi, shocked. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it right after, remembering what Khushi told him. Though it went against the grain, he didn't say a word but inside he was fuming.
Khushi witnessed Arnav's internal struggle dispassionately but went back to the phone call at hand.
'I knew it Khushiji. Saale saab is that type of person. I knew you didn't love him nor did you marry him out of choice. Ever since I saw the two of you enter the Raizada mansion as a married couple I've been suffering Khushiji. I thought you didn't love me and just moved on with Saale saab. But then, on Holi, I found out that this wasn't the case. Khushiji, I'm going to beg your forgiveness because I put the idea in Rani Sahiba's head that you should drink bhang. I was desperate Khushiji. I wanted to know the truth about your marriage. It was obvious that you weren't happy and Saale saab has hardly acted like the lovesick fool has he?
Ever since your marriage, I've been worried sick for you Khushiji. Saale saab is not known for his gentleness. He hasn't forced himself on you has he?'
Arnav clenched his hands into tight fists as he heard Shyam basically ask Khushi if he had raped her.
'No Shyamji. Arnav hasn't done anything of the sort. He's not that type of person,' Khushi replied.
Startled, Arnav looked up at Khushi. Even after everything that he had done and said, Khushi was still defending him.
Khushi looked back at him, returning his shocked gaze with her unflinching one. 'It's the truth.'
The alarm bells started to ring in Arnav's head as he saw the absolute conviction in her face.
'Well, I'm so glad to hear that Khushiji. Please, just wait for me. I promise I'll free you from Saale saab's clutches. I'll divorce Rani Sahiba and then we can be together. I know you've been resisting my advances ever since you found out I was married. But, once the divorce is filed, we can run away together. I'm just trying to obtain the money so that is possible.
'But how can I trust you Shyamji? We were already engaged when I found out you were married. You kept it from me and my entire family. Buaji doted on you and you betrayed our trust. Ever since we came to Delhi you lied to us. Having a wife like Anjali, yet you came after me. Why?'
The alarm bells were constantly pealing as Arnav processed the new information. The dread increasing exponentially as he kept receiving shock after shock.
'I know Khushiji. But I also know that, with time, you'll grow to love me. I'll keep you happy I know it. I'll never hurt you nor bring tears to your eyes like Arnav does. I'll never lie to you again, I promise and I'll win back the hearts of your family. I know you threw the engagement ring back in my face when you found out I was married, but I've still safeguarded it, certain in the knowledge that you'll accept it once again. Khushiji, I can't help myself, I need to ask you now. Will you marry me?'
A silence encompassed all three of them. Arnav was shocked speechless. Khushi looked as if a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. Shyam was most likely waiting, with bated breath, for a favourable answer.
Finally Khushi broke the silence. 'Shyam?'
'Yes Khushiji?'
'Where are you right now?' Khushi asked.
'I'm at a friend's house Khushiji.'
'If I were you, I'd get to a mandir fast.'
'Why Khushiji? Are we getting married already?' A delighted Shyam asked.
'No. Thing is, Arnav has heard everything. I suggest you get to the mandir as quick as you can and start praying for your life. It's in jeopardy.'
With that, Khushi cut the call before listening to Shyam's reaction and looked up to face Arnav.
Arnav, who had earlier been so angry knowing the extent of Shyam's betrayal, looked up to see Khushi's face and felt his anger immediately dissolve. Instead, disbelief and horror took its place. She was innocent all along and yet he punished her for a crime she didn't commit.
He broke the eye contact with her, feeling thoroughly ashamed, guilty and helpless. He couldn't believe it. How could he have been so wrong? Completely and absolutely wrong. He tried to get his brain to work but it had retreated like a wounded animal, now silent after making its biggest and gravest mistake. He was rendered speechless as he realised the extent of how badly he had wronged her. He had to say something, anything! Yet his mouth would not work.
Unexpectedly, he felt a tugging of his heart. He looked up instantly to see the tears glisten in Khushi's eyes and then cascade down her face. Her eyes now filled with the extent of her sorrow, grief and betrayal, as the barrier that she had put up to shield her emotions was overcome.
Seeing her grief-stricken face, Arnav broke out of his paralysis and he moved forward towards Khushi. But, as soon as he took a step towards her, she whirled around and was running towards the bathroom.
Terrified, Arnav ran after her. But, by the time he reached the bathroom, she had shut the door in his face and locked it. His hands came up to come in contact with the door's wooden panelling to stop himself from propelling into the door due to the momentum.
Panic overtook Arnav as he felt her erect a barrier between them. She had never been the one to put up barriers; it was always him who tried to keep her at arm's length by building the high, intimidating walls between them. Though he knew he deserved it, he wanted to tear down this barrier and get to Khushi. He couldn't bear the distance between them.
'Khushi. Khushi, please open the door.' Arnav begged.
Arnav heard her sob quietly and each sob tore at his heart. He was becoming desperate, feeling as if he was losing her. The distance between them, brought about by his stupid mistakes, now vast and long, he feared that it was a distance that could not be abridged. All for the blinding love of a sister.
His voice broke. 'Khushi, Khushi I beg you. Please open the door. I know I deserve this and worse but I can't... I'll do anything. I'll make it up to you. Just open the door. Let me in.'
He started to cry, hearing her sound so broken. Never had he felt so disgusted with himself, of what he had become. He was a damned soul yet he couldn't help but try to take back what he didn't rightfully deserve.
He didn't know when he felt the fatigue overpower him.
He could not let her leave him.
Never again!
Arnav came out of his reverie feeling even worse than before, if that was even possible! The tears continued to stream down as he felt the guilt sear his insides. He slid down the bonnet of the car so that his knees folded beneath him and touched the hard tarmac of the road. He hunched over and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to ward off the chill. It was so cold; this feeling of emptiness and loss. A bone-chilling cold he knew, could not be gotten rid of via conventional means.
The tears turned into wracking sobs as Arnav cried uncontrollably. His chest shook and heaved as he did. He cried for what he had done, what he didn't do and ultimately what he had lost. The despair threatened to overwhelm him, never had he felt so bereft.
'Ek din aisa ayega jab aapko pata chalega ki aapne apne liye jo kuch bhi likha woh Devi Maiyya ne aapka haath pakarkar aapse likhwaya hai. Aap jo kuch bhi karte hai unki marzi se karte hai aur aage bhi unki hi marzi hogi. Lekin jis din aapko yeh patha chalega na, us din hum waha nahi honge.'
Khushi...
He wanted her beside him. To love and to cherish. His love would be free and unconditional; what she rightfully deserved but was always denied. She was the one who made him break free from the chains of his past, had taught him how to live again. Her presence beside him was enough to drive all the demons away. But without her, the flames of hell kept beckoning to him and to enter it, would mean he would go back to being the man he was before Khushi entered his life.
No!
His heart rebelled at the thought of being forcefully shut down and rendered useless once again. The urgent protest cut through the miasma of despair and self-loathing Arnav was drowning himself in, allowing him to think clearly. A single conviction pulsed throughout his entire being and for once his heart and mind were working in conjunction with one another.
I will find you.
No matter how long it took or how far he had to go. He would use every ounce of his energy and resources to bring her back. She belonged with her family. With him.
Wherever you go I will find you.
She was his life, the very reason for his existence. She had already made his heart her home, the change was absolute and irrevocable. There's no way he'll let her slip out of his hands this time. Divine intervention had made them meet again and again, but this time he knew he had to work hard to bring her back to him. And once he did, he would do everything in his power to make her forgive him. His list of sins against her was so long that he felt even if he spent his whole life repenting; he would not be able to make it up to her. But that didn't deter him. He loved her too much to let her go.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
