Please Help- Suggestion Needed

I am a silent member in this forum. I love Balika Vadhu...more so because I know how it feels to be cheated by someone you love and are committed to. I love to read all the topics in this forum, especially those who support Anandi. People here provide a really diverse opinion on topics, so I thought it would be great to ask you guys for help and suggestion.

So here's the deal: I am in love! and crazy, madly, truly, deeply in love! I really want to marry this guy, but my parents are not happy with it. If I ever get married, it would be to this guy, but at the same time, I would never go against my parents to marry someone. The things is, he is not of the same cast as me and he is not a Bhramin ( I know its ridiculous to think like this in today's age...but who can explain such things to parents?)... anyways... there are two things that are bothering me, which I need help with. I have put the question first and then written my side of the explanation after that:

1. How do I convince my parents that this guy is good for me?

My parents are some how convinced that I would only be happy with a person from the same caste as us. I disagree with this thing and believe that good people are good irrespective of their religion, caste, creed or nationality. I was once engaged (which was arranged by my family) and my ex-fiance cheated on me with another girl. At that time we had been engaged for almost 1 year. When I found out, I broke off my engagement, which my parents supported as well (and of course they were hurt). Then, it took me a really long time before I trusted anyone again. Actually it was only after I met my boyfriend that I started trusting again. I fell in love and we have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. He is great and most importantly, I know he will never cheat on me (I will explain this in the question below).

2. Is it OK for me to lie to my parents about something from his past?

OK so there is a major twist in the story-- He is divorced and has a kid from his first marriage. I know you guys might have all sorts of reactions to this... but to clear out.. the reason for divorce was that his wife had cheated on him and he could not accept that cheating. But my boyfriend is a great father and he loves his son and makes sure to meet him almost every week and he talks to him on the phone every other day. (his son is 6 and is really cute... and loves his Papa very much)

Anyways.. my problem is... my parents would never accept him if they know that my boyfriend is a divorcee and has a son. There is no way that I will marry anyone other than my boyfriend, but at the same time, I would never go against them. The thing is, I feel really bad that I have to lie to them about this, but I don't want to hurt my parents either. I feel like if I tell them about this they will definitely oppose this marriage. And if I tell them about this and say that I will not marry anyone else, it will be like telling my parents that I do not care of what they think.

My dad is really attached to me and has a BP problem too. If I tell him he wont be able to take it.. he will be very hurt and I cant stand that.

I feel terrible that I have to lie to my parents, but telling them this truth will hurt them a lot... and I dont want to do that. At the same time I cannot marry a guy of my parents choice because I love my boyfriend and will never be able to be happy without him. I cannot sacrifice my whole life for what my parents feel is right for me... especially because they made a wrong choice before and due to which I had to go through a lot.. I don't want to marry someone that my parents choose, because if I am not happy, I will blame my parents for it..and I don't wanna do that either.

So, guys please help me!

(FYI: I am an independent woman and live all by myself in US and my parents are in India... He lives about 10 miles from my place and is always there for me when I need him.. He love me, supports me, tolerates all my tantrums but at the same time pushes me towards the right path.. His ex-wife and son live with her parents, in a different state which is about 3 hours drive from his place)

Thanks for the reply.

- I am absolutely sure that it was his wife who cheated and not the other way round.. I've tried to talk to her but she seems very rude... Whenever he tries to brings up the topic of her meeting me..she gets pissed off.. and anyways... I have never seen them talk patiently or normally with each other... They always just shout at each other and fight.. So I dont even know if she would ever willingly meet me..

- He does have to pay alimony and child support, but I am ok with that. Its his money and he would ensure that once we are married, he will make sure that I am monetarily well off.. (in any case I earn as well... and will always make sure that I have enough.. so that will not be an issue)

But as far as she is concerned I dont think she will create any trouble for me.

- I love kids and will love his son as well. I know this will sounds very movie-like..but I love him and will love his son coz he is a part of him.. actually I already do love him... he is adorable, cute, really smart and very naughty like his Papa.. :D

And there is no question of being jealous!..

- As for my parents... they have met him... and they like him as a person... but they are unable to get past the fact that he is not of the same caste.. :(

One of my friend had similar prob caste issue...they refused to get married to any other person...after 4-5 years of waiting their parents had to relent coz they were past their marriagable age and they couldnt get a suitable match for them anymore 😆😆😆

If u have tht much patience u can try tht...or get married..ur parents will be shocked but eventually they'll come along

divorsee guy who has to pay alimony humm.

it cud become a prob.

HAHAHA... great idea!!... guess i'll have to wait... :D

would not dare to get married behind their backs!!... GOD! no... more than my parents, I am scared that my Brother will never talk to me again if I did anything like that!!... and i just have one bro (no sisters)... So... no going behind my parents backs to marry him.. :)

well... its his responsibility... so I dont think that should be a problem..

moreover... he makes enough money to pay that alimony and support a house-hold... even if I dont work.. so guess that wouldn't be a problem.. :)

but thanks for the suggestion Avantika!..

this means a lot to me that BV forum members are helping me with this.. :D

we explain away all odds, think of solutions to all probs.

is there no way he can stop giving it?

The only way is if she gets married or she revokes it. But until then he is legally obliged to pay the alimony.

but how does him paying the alimony affect our relationship?