Bani stood in front of the mirror and kept staring at the reflection listlessly…..She had been like this for quite some time now, in a sort of emotional vacuum that had filled her mind and nothing else occupied it. The past few months had gone by in a flurry of activity, with the marriages taking place and a lot of hustle bustle going on in the House! "Di….Di, kahan hai aap? Bani Di?" Pia's chirpy voice floated across the hall as she came to stand near the door of Jai and Bani's bedroom and smiled at Bani's reflection and she broke out of her revierie to look back at Pia who was carrying a huge paper bag with her! Pia kept standing near the door, not venturing in, somehow she felt that she had no right to step inside the sacred precints of what was now her sister and brother-in-law's own little world and especially when a new addition to their happiness was going to come. "Di, aap kitni sundar lag rahin hai. You are actually glowing! Bahar aayie na, mujhe kuch dikhana hai aapko, chaliye Living Room mein chaltein hai, ghar ke baaki sab log bhi wahin hai."
Bani kept standing while Pia insisted once more and beckoned Bani to follow her. Bani walked slowly out of her room, still in that daze that seemed to overpower her all the time. As Bani apprehensively stepped into the Living Room, she regretted it at once, as she saw the whole family congregated in the Hall, everyone except…….The Father of her child. The very thought of her carrying Jai's child seemed to send an unfathomable sensation in her nerves, pounding her head and numbing her senses. "Aayiye, Aayiye…Would be Mother…Arre wahan itni door kyon khadi hain….Yahaan aayiye and please make yourself comfortable." That was Aditya, chirping in his usual jovial manner and gently taking Bani by her arms and seating her in the middle of everyone assembled. Saahil and Rohit made way for Bani to be seated comfortably in the midst of Dadi and Massi. "Arre biji, koi meri bahu ki nazar utaro, kitni sundar lag rahin hai….dekhna zaroor beti hogi." Massi gushed as she lovingly patted Bani's hair, who had her head bowed down and was quieter than usual. Dadi pulled Bani's cheeks and said in her humorous manner, "Arre nahin Billo, dekh uski aankhon mein kitni chamak hai,….Tu dekhna, zaroor beta hoga…..Bilkul hamare Jai puttar jaisa."
Bani almost shut her eyes, squirming inside, as Dadi said this. Everyone joined in the general bonhomie and laughter! Pia kept noticing the discomfort on Bani's face for some time but attributed it to the delicate state of her health and the anticipation of a child. "Di, dekhiye main aapke liye kya laayi hoon. Yeh aapke aur Jai Jeeju ke hone waale bacche ke liye, uski Pia Massi aur Pushkar Massaji ki taraf se." As Bani lifted her head to look at Pia, she unwrapped the paper covering and took out a huge Teddy Bear which had the words, "My Ma and Pa Love me the most" written on it…..as Bani kept staring at the Soft Toy, and everyone gushed over it and cheered and teased Bani! "Bani Mami, jab tak hamare Walia Khandaan ka chirag nahin aajaata, yeh Teddy Bear aapko uski yaad dilayega….Infact, yeh bilkul Mamaji ko resemble karta hain"
Rano giggled and chided Saahil, "Don't be silly Saahil, tumhein kya mere Jeeju, Teddy Bear jaise dikhtein hain?" Raashi broke out into a grin and brought a cup of Milk for Bani, "Yeh lijiye, aapne subah naashta bhi theek se nahin kiya, Mamaji meri duty laga kar gaye hain." Bani took the glass of Milk from Raashi and thanked her with a quiet smile and told Pia that she loved the present a lot! As Rohit and Saahil fooled around with the Teddy Bear, Bani took the glass of Milk and kept staring in the space and as soon as she tried to take a sip, her eyes smarted with tears and she realized that she could not contain them any longer and abruptly placing the glass of Milk on the Table, she walked slowly but steadily back towards her room, without as much as a glance towards anyone else.
Everyone looked around at one another surprised and taken aback, as Dadi brushed aside the concerned glances and said, "Arre kuch nahin hai, is waqt aisa ho jaata hai, woh kya kehtein hai use, haan, morning sickness….Haan, wahi hoga….Theek ho jaayega." There was a murmur of relief around, but Pia kept staring at Bani's rushing visage and followed her upstairs. As Pia stood near the door, she saw, what she had feared for some time, Bani was lying on the Bed, crying her heart out to herself. Without thinking anything further, Pia rushed besides Bani's limp figure lying on the Bed and frantically asked, "Kya hua Di? Bani Di? Kya hua, aapki tabiyat toh theek hain na? Main Doctor ko phone karun? Jai Jeeju ko bulaon?" As soon as Pia uttered Jai's name, Bani lifted herself up with a flourish, and with a tear stained face begged to Pia, "Please Pia, unhein phone mat karna, aur please unse kuch kehna bhi mat…..Mujhe thodi de akela chod do…..Main theek hoon…Just leave me alone." As Pia patted Bani's head, her eyes filled with tears looking at Bani's anguished state and she said softly, "Aapke aur Jai Jeeju ke beech main koi problem hai Di? Kya unhone aap se kuch kaha? Main kuch dino se dekh rahin hoon, jab se hum logon ko yeh khabar mili hai, aap bahut udaas aur akeli si lagti hai. Kya aapko yeh bacchan nahin….." Bani looked shocked and wiping her tears said, "Nahin Pia, aisi koi baat nahin hai…..Mujhe is bacche se koi shikayat nahin hai….aur isme is masoom ka kya kasoor hai……" Pia kept staring at Bani and in a serene voice asked, "Toh phir kiska kasoor hai Di? Kya Jai Jeeju yeh baccha nahin chahte the?"
Bani looked rattled now as she shrugged off her head and before she could answer back, a look of dread crossed her face, as she saw, Jai standing nearly motionless in the room. Pia looked at him and became very flustered and immediately got up and wishing him formally, left the room without a single word, closing the door behind.
Jai and Bani kept staring at one another for sometime without any expression or reaction and then all of a sudden, Bani got up from the bed and without uttering a single word went to the washroom to wash her tear-strained face. Jai stood frozen on the spot, as Pia's words rebrevated in his ears, "Kya Jai Jeeju yeh baccha nahin chahte the?" Nothing could have been far away from the truth and nothing could have hurt Jai more at the moment…..The child was the reason why Jai was still breathing and living and going on with life, else there was nothing left in his life……except the woman he loved so much….the woman who refused to even look at him, leave aside uttering a single word.
It was almost 8 months since the news of Bani's pregnancy had come across, and from that day till now, Bani had completely turned herself away from Jai. It would have been bearable if Bani had been hateful, or angry, or spiteful or taken any revenge from him, but she lived in a shell of her own…..apparently without any emotion or any feeling….as if she was just existing and not living. They still shared the same room, the same bed and the same Blanket, but it was like sleeping with a stranger…..Jai accompanied Bani on all her visits to the Gynecologist, only to spend the whole distance traveling to and forth in a mind-numbing silence, Jai made sure that Bani had her meals on time, that he personally supervised all the medicines she took and made sure that there was not the slightest discomfort she had to face, but all he got in return was an obedient wife, who followed everything that was instructed to her without a murmur of protest.
Jai had broken down moment by moment, every time, Bani refused to acknowledge his presence in their room, every time she looked out of the window whenever he tried to strike a conversation with her, every time she withdrew back sharply, whenever he tried to touch her……and he put the entire blame on himself, for putting Bani in the crossroad of her life, from where she could neither turn back nor move forward! And Jai had decided that he will stick to her no matter what, once the child comes, it would be her decision, whether to make Jai a part of their life or not.
As Bani came out of the Washroom, Jai turned around to look at her, and a faint, loving smile spread across her face, as he noticed her glowing and radiant face which seemed to illuminate the room! "How beautiful she looks! Almost ethereal……How I wish I could hold her in my arms, comfort her, kiss her and love her and tell her that nothing matters to me in the whole world than her and our baby……But, I think its too late for that." Jai's face fell as he opened the wardrobe to take out a Shirt for himself. Bani had stopped doing that long time back now. As Bani occupied herself in sorting out some of her Medical Papers, Jai changed into his Office clothes than uttered a sigh of disgust as he noticed that a button from his shirt was missing and muttered irritatedly, "Abhi hona tha, waise hi late ho raha hoon meeting ke liye." Jai went near the door and shouted for Tony to come upstairs only to be informed that Tony was busy in the Kitchen preparing Pakoda's and Tea for the gathering assembled downstairs. Jai kept muttering something under his breath as he sighed to himself that he would have to change his shirt again and opened the Wardrobe.
"Layiye, main button laga deti hoon." Jai kept standing facing the Wardrobe, completely rooted to the spot, as he heard the voice that he had almost forgotten how it sounded like for the past so many weeks now…..As Jai slowly turned to face the other side, Bani was standing near him, with a needle and thread and without saying anything further or even looking at Jai's stupidified face, Bani came near to Jai and sewed the button deftly and quickly and as she came near to Jai's chest to bite off the thread, Bani felt a warm sensation on her cheeks and before she could react, Jai abruptly thanked her and taking his blazer almost rushed out of the room, leaving Bani dazed as she touched her cheeks to realize that Jai had tears in his eyes……and the same tears filled Bani's eyes and the familiar longing of running into her husband's arms and burying her head in his chest came surging in her and she rested her body against the wall and wept like a child…..wept for the tears she had given to Jai, wept for the tears that Jai had given to her, wept because she realized, that come what may, she can never let Jai's love ever leave her heart and that till date, the love had not dimmed one bit, only suppressed by the darkness of their past.
Hope you liked the first part of the story, next part to be posted by today evening or tomorrow morning!
Will be awaiting your comments and posts on this!
Love,
MT
