Originally posted by: Samanalyse
I have been dying to see a discussion of this sort here.
@Opti: I loved all of your clearly laid out arguments and I completely agree for the most part. However, contrary to the idea that Sandhya is being inconsiderate in insensitive now, I think this outburst was the first sign she showed of actually being considerate to Suraj's feelings and expectations.
Up until this harrowing reality check, this whole marriage and the challenges laid out for Sandhya in its context were about her. She was the great martyr who had sacrificed for her brother's dreams and she sort of made a tragic heroine of herself in this whole story. Any help she got from Suraj, I felt like she took for granted, considered it her due for having to suffer the trial that she did. And lucky for her, Suraj was mature enough to stand by her during this test of her integrity and her upbringing without any expectations. And while she may have helped him and his family, it was not really because she loved them but because she was on a mission to prove herself but at some point she lost sight of what she was proving. She had made a nest of denial and self-pity and was operating from within its confines
So up until the cripplingly humiliating incident with Bhabho, I think Sandhya hadn't really taken a moment to consider the expectations Suraj may have had from this relationship. For the first time in her life, the story snapped out of perspective and no longer revolved around her, exclusively. She was given an ugly reality check that this marriage wasn't only about her sacrifice, it was about Suraj's dreams as well and for the first time she realises how much she has fallen short of fulfilling them, at least according to Bhabo's definition.
This is further emphasised by the relationship she sees between Kirti and her husband where she gets to see how far away Suraj and her are from a normal marital relationship of the nature that Suraj must have expected before marriage. Also their interactions are now coloured by Bhabho's tasteless remarks so Suraj's touch must be even more difficult for Sandhya and she realises how difficult this is for her when it is so simple for him.
For the first time she realises that her emtpy actions of being a wife, bahu and SIL may not be enough as Suraj deserves the sincere intention behind them. So actually I think here for she is seeing him as an equal for the first time. Rather than a vehicle for her own tragic narrative she sees him as an individual with his own dreams and herself, an obstacle in his way, which is why she tells him the blatant truth and gives him the option of being freed from this relationship.
Once again Suraj is thankfully far more mature than her and understands the undertones of the outburst rather than the literal words. While Sandhya may have been carrying out her duties as a member of the household like a zombie, she has also been unconsciously growing close to Suraj in casual, unstudied interactions that she does not give much weight to. But he has been collecting them like little beads and has carefully strung them together to be able to present to Sandhya the reality of their relationship with such clarity. He makes her realise that while they are far from a "normal" pati-patni relationship, it can't be said that there is no relationship at all.
And we can see how well she has understood this message when she is able to repeat it to Preeti the next day. What was established through this episodic was that there is a definite relationship between the Sandhya and Suraj. But the relevant question Preeti raised: is this relationship alone enough for Sandhya to live the rest of her life on?
Sorry, this got much longer than I intended but I have been dying to comment on the issue. 😊
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