ok so this is my very first fan fiction on any show...and creative criticism is much appreciated and wanted. really would like to know how much u guys like it, what the highlights are and how i could improve and hopefully right even better pieces for u all to enjoy!!
and since we r all..or at least some/most of us r enraged tht khushi is going to fall once again infront of "ASR" i thought tht this may take the edge off...
so this OS is roughly based on the usual taunts she will recieve from Arvan on how she couldnt do anything about it...blah blah blah.
anyway, heere goes nothing...
---------------------------------- X ---------------------------------------
Part 1:
The night passed by slowly and silently. Khushi was enraged , frustrated, and shock to say the least with Arnav. Each tear that managed leak out caused her eyes to ache and burn. Her heart was bursting , she wanted to run, and just keep running until she fell of the edge of the world. Flashes of him mocking her, telling her tht she can't do anything. telling her that she had lost yet another battle. Time and again she would was shoved into the real world ..which was ruthless, every time when she finally found some sort of sancturay it was proven to be a mere mirage in a relentless desert. She felt lost,... alone. Everything had come crashing down. Lost, her chain of thoughts took her back to that one fateful night when she made one innocent mistake and ended falling into to the arms of Arnav Singh Raizada. She remembered he had told her, warned her that no one gets away from him. And it dawned on her, that he was right. She couldnt get away, he said he would make her pay for her ignorance. She had now realized that he was right, that the world only knew of deals, loss and gain, and manipulation. But this was a very familiar fact...she had shut of the cruelty of the world away in some tiny, dark corner of the mind. She dosed off into emptiness.
The next morning her eyes shoot open, like they were waiting to come out of a forced slumber which seemed more like torture instead of rest. They felt swollen and burning form the salty tears. Her body pained and her head was pounding. She was dazed but still fully aware to where she was. She heard a knock at the door. She got up, took the blankets and calmly walked into an empty room. 'He must have left early' she thought to herself as she walked to the door of his room and opened it without even bothering to wipe of any stains of the salt water river that fowled from her eyes the night before.
"Khushiji, are you ok?" said Anjali in the cold tone that she had abopted since arnav and khushi got marry. But there seemed to be a tint of concern.
"yes, i am fine Anjaliji." said Khushi in an equally cold tone.
there was a short pause while they just stared at eachother.
"is there something important?" asked Khushi
"are you sure you're ok? you don't look so good." Anjali asked with a bit more concern.
Before khushi could reply, "i just wanted to remind you that to today is the Singhanias' son's wedding party..." she trailed of then paused looking at Khushi.
"oh yes, i am so sorry it slipped my mind-" Khushi said while holding her head but before she could continue Anjali broke in.
"but i think you should stay at home, you look quite sick. i will send some breakfast and medicine to your room." she said
and for a second there khushi 's heart brightened, she was hearing the sounds of love and affection after what seemed like forever, but suddenly she relapsed ..had she really heard it before?? Wasn't it all fake like he said?
She closed the door and walked over to the bathroom. Her mind pushing her back and forth in yesturday's events. "i told u, i can do anything i want," "once again Khushi Kumari Gupta -Singh Raizada, you failed." his words repeated over and over and over. That sickening smirk for the first time didn't make her heart skip and beat. She was boiling over. 'he thinks he got away, but i will have my answer' she thought to herself.
---------------------------------- X ---------------------------------------
WOW!! writing OSes etc..isnt easy..no wonder the writers get so pissed when no one responds..!! not tht i dont...no really i do respond and really appreciate the efforts and works and would like to thank ALL the writers here for helping us through this time of grieve with their fun/hot/emotional ... writings !!
anyway looking forward to reading all ur comments and advises both good and bad. and i will try my best to edit the next part with the help of ur feed backs. since i understand the excitement to know wht happens ahead if u r looking forward to the Part 2 then buddy me.
and please excuse any mistakes..i was too excited to proof read it properly.. !!
Part 1 --pg.1
Part 2 --pg.3
Part 3 --pg.4
Part 4 --pg.12
Part 5 --pg.20
Part 6 --pg.27
Part 7 --pg.35
Part 8 --pg.42
Part 9 --pg.52
Part 10 --pg.59
Part 11 --pg.68
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
CID
167