So sorry for making you guys wait for long here is the update.. plz do read and comment...
PART 6 B
My gaze paused on her.. Her swollen eyes said their miseries.. She wasn't murmuring anymore.. Except her slow breathing there wasn't any movement.. I could see her shattered and broken self as i scanned the room.. the broken mirror seem to be her loud cry.. I traced her face with my fingers... I touched her cheeks trying to convey what I felt for her... How ironical it seems.. I didn't even know what i was feeling for her... But I was sure of one thing that if she would have been conscious she would have got what I meant by that touch... It was so painful to watch her in that state.. And the worst thing was that i was responsible for it... I took her hand in mine and embraced.. Tears rolled down... what not she did to make me remember everything.. but I failed every time...
I started putting the cold strips...
"jab baat karti ho tab lagta hain chhup kab hogi? Par ab lagata hain kab tum uthogi aur mujhse baat karogi? Tum aise bilkul achchi nahi lagti baatcutter..."
I wanted to wake her up quickly and tell her I did remember her number.. She would have been so happy.. but to my fate she was lying there unconsciously... I moved her strip of hair behind her ear.. She was still unconscious making me more and more worried.. I tried waking her up again... But she didn't move a bit... Didn't know why but I was scared to the bits.. I didn't know what fear it was? Every second of her being unconscious was stirring me inside... I continued to put the strips.. Thoughts kept coming into mind... Didn't know how many questions I asked myself.. But every question remained unanswered... Neither it was my mistake nor her.. but both of us were getting punished...
I cleaned the room and removed the broken pieces of mirror.. It was 4 o'clock in the morning when the Doctor came... he examined her and gave her injection...
"Doctor, kuch serious tho nahi hain na...?"
"Serious tho nahi hain but agar care nahi ki tho shayad serious ho sakta hain?"
"Matlab?"
"stress ki wajah se inka blood pressure bohat low ho gaya tha isiliye woh unconscious ho gayi thi.. nd now she has very bad fever.. fever tho thik ho jayega but agar unka stress kam nahi hua tho low blood pressure can turn up to very bad consequences "
"Ab woh thik tho ha jayegi na?"
"Dont worry... Maine injection de diya hain.. aur fever ke liye medicines bhi di hain.. sab thik ho jayega.. Aap bass unka khayal rakhiye aur unka stress kam karne ki koshish kijiye... Suabah mujhe call kar dena.. thik hain.. I'll take a leave now.."
"Thank you Doctor.."
I took him to the door and thanked him again for coming.. He left and i shut the door behind.. his words again turned wheels in my mind.. I knew the reason of her stress...I kept on thinking for what I could do to relieve her tension a bit.. i knew until and unless my memory doesn't comes back her tension won't be relieved.. But I didn't want to wait that long... i didn't care if my memory comes back or not.. what i care was only her then...
One quiet long night changed everything for me... Till that night I was unaware of how much I care for her... How much she meant to me... few moments of fear of losing her stirred me upside down... I couldn't say what it meant to be with her for so many days but that night made it clear for me that what it meant to be without her...
I decided something to myself and entered the room... i stood there next to her... I placed my palm over her forehead to check the temperature..The temperature was gradually coming down... I sat there beside her... i waited for her to wake up... But she was in deep sleep.. I was relieved that at least the temperature was coming down...
The ray of sun peeping down the window disturbed my sleep and I opened my eyes... I felt my lashes were heavier to open.. My whole body was aching with pain.. I tried to get up in the bed when I sensed someone was holding my hand tight... I turned my left to see him sleeping by my side embracing my hand in his... A quick smile curved along my lips... but as soon as I saw him i remembered about the last night... what had happened last night? Did I even know what had happened? I tried to go back in the time? But i could remember anything.. the last thing i remembered was only my cries.. I gulped.. I ran my eyes through the room... The room was clean and there were no pieces of the mirror that was broken last night.. I didn't understand anything... I turned back to see medicines and cold strips on the side table.. I tried to remember what had happen last night.. But i couldn't remember anything... my head started aching very badly... I thought it was only previous night that I tried to remember and my head started aching that badly.. How frustrated I felt when I couldn't remember it.. ? What he must be going through when he had to remember 7 years of his life... I traced his face with my palm..My gaze narrowed down to him.. I was happy to watch him holding my hand tight as if he won't let me go.. I didn't bother to get up from the bed...I didn't want to break this beautiful dream.. I didn't want to wake up then.. I kept looking at him... I was feeling dizzy.. and I dozed off again...
I woke up in the morning to see her lying next
to me gathering both my hands close to her... I kept looking at her
innocence... i slowly took my hands back and check her forehead... the
temperature was little higher than normal... i got up from the bed... and
I quickly freshen up .. I made a call... after calling i went to kitchen
to make something for her... I took all most half n hour to find the
ingredients and then another hour to actually do the cooking... Finally the
breakfast was ready nd I took it to the bedroom... She was still sleeping... I
kept the plate on the table and opened the window curtains to let the rays of
sun enter the room...but it didn't bother her much... She was still sleeping
holding the pillows that i moved to her while getting my hands back... I
laughed at her innocence.. I sat beside her ...moved the strip of hair that was
disturbing her...
"Kriya" I whispered..
She moved in her place a bit but didnt open her eyes...
"kriya"
She chuckled but didnt wake up...
"Kriya ab utho... Kitni der ho gayi hain... Pata nahi last time maine
tumhari aawaz kab suni thi?" I was little louder than I intended to..
the last sentence was meant to be for myself... But i didn't bother as she was
sleeping... My eyes widened as she opened her eyes in response.. I bit my
tongue... I started covering up
"good morning kriya.. Ab tum better feel kar rahi ho?"
"good morning.. Better feel kar rahi ho matlab.. Mujhe kya hua tha?"
"Purri raat mujhe jagakar khud chain se so rahi thi aur ab pooch rahi ho
kya hua tha..?"
"kya bol rahe ho tum? Mujhe kuch samajh mein nahi aa raha.. waise bhi mera sar bohat bhaari ho raha hian.."
"Kya? Sar dard ho raha hain? Dekho.. ab mein jo aur jaisa kehta hoon waise karo bilkul aargument mat karna.. Raat ko bohat bukhar tha tumhe.."
He checked my forehead again and said
"Dekho abhi bhi tumhe thoda temperature hain..."
I looked at his hand which touched my forehead and then swing back... It was so nice to see him caring for me.. and that means i wasn't dreaming in the morning... I felt like being a kid to him so that he can pamper me..
"Chalo ab utho aur yeh breakfast kar lo.."
I came back to senses with his words..
"Breakfast? Yeh kisne banaya? Maid itni jaldi aa gayi?"
"Oyye ye maid ne nahi maine banaya hain.."
"Aapne?" I was so shocked to hear that he cooked for me..
He took the plate in his hand and took some soup in spoon and started feeding me... I skipped my heart beat... i didn't blink my eyes.. I was scared that the tears that gathered along the corners may spilled out.. I kept on looking at into his eyes which seemed different... He feed me the entire bowl of soup.. I was full but still didn't bother to stop him.. I wished i could have another tummy to store so that he won't stop feeding me.. I laughed at myself for being so kiddish.. but I loved to be a kid to him always.. getting pampered by him was so blissful...
"chalo.. get up and freshen up jaldi se.. Mom dad aane wale hain aur tumhari mom bhi.."
"Mom dad aur meri mom bhi?"
"Kyun tumhe kuch problem hain?"
"Rey maine kab kaha mujhe kuch problem hain? Main tho bass aisehi pooch rahi thi. Achanak se kyun?"
"Tum jao aur freshen up ho jao.. yeh sab medicines jo di hain doctor ne woh sab khana hain tumhe.. jao jaldi.. " He almost scolded me.. I got up from the bed making a pout... He still sat there on the bed and i went to have bath..
I was feeling so weak..that only taking bath made me tired... as soon as i came back from bath i flung myself to bed.. My head was paining very badly...
I made myself strong enough to tell her my decision.. Last night I had decided something for us.. and I wanted her to get that correct... i asked god to give me strength to make her understand what I need to say... I gulped.. Inhaled and exhaled slowly and pushed the door..She was not feeling well yet.. I went and sat beside her..
"Kriya"
She turned to my side..
"Rey, aap kya hua? Mom dad aa gaye?"
"nahi ab tak nahi aye? Aa jayenge!"
"Aap tense lag rahe ho? Kya hua?"
"Woh actually tumse kuch baat karni thi"
"Boliye na Rey.. kya baat hain?"
"Kriya.. tumhari mom tumhe yaha se le jaane ke liye aa rahi hain..."
"Kya?"
"Haan.. actually maine hi unhe bulaya hain.. tumhe yaha se le jaane ke liye"
I was so shocked to hear that.. what did he just say.. he was sending me away.. But why? Just now he showed so much care for me and now this? I couldn't understand anything... I couldn't decide what was real and what was dream? The one i saw in the morning where he cared for me or one that was standing in front of me as my present? I thought somebody has just made me wake up from my dream slapping me hard on my face... Fresh tears streamed down my eyes..
"Rey aap..." my words also shivered with fear...
"Kriya.. Dekho.. don't take me wrong.. meri baat dhyaan se suno.. Main bass yeh chahata hoon ki tum jaldi se thik ho jao.. main tumhe aur stress nahi dena chahta.."
"Aur aapko kya lagata hain aapse dur rehakar main apna stress dur kar paaoongi"
"Dekho Kriya..main bass yahi chahta hoon ki tum yeh sab tensions se thode dino ke liye dur chali jao... Mere aas pass rehene se tum humesha wahi sochati rahogi aur apne aap ko aur hurt karti rahogi.. main nahi chahata ki tum aur hurt ho.. "
"Rey yeh sab kehakar aap mujhe aur hurt kar rahe ho.."
"Dekho Kriya baat ko samajhane ki koshish karo.. Aur main tumhe humesha ke liye thodi bhej raha hoon bass kuch dino ke liye.. Kuch din tum inn sab tensions se door rahogi tho jaldi thik ho jaoogi.. fir main khud tumhe lene aaoonga.."
"Main kahi nahi jaane vali suna aapne"
"Kriya..." I shuddered with fear as he yelled at me loudly.. I burst into tears...
"Dekho Kriya.. tumhe meri baat sunanai hi padegi.. Maine tumhari mom ko yah ape bula liy ahain aur tumhe unke sath jana hi padega.. Maine mom dad se bhi baat ki hain.. unka bhi yehi kehna hain ki tumhe kuch dino ke liye apne mom ke paas jana chahiye.."
"Maine kaha na main kahi nahi jaoongi.. aapko jo karn ahain kar lijiye..." I answered back... I didn't want to go anywhere.. Whatever pain i had living with him was still bearable because he was around me every time.. but staying away from him was going to make things worse than anything..
"Kriya tumhe jana hi padega.. main tumhari koi baat nahi sunane vala..." He again yelled loud.. and turned around..
I turned around to hide my tears...
"Kriya.. why don't you understand.. Its only for you .. I know it's not easy for you neither it is to me.. But we have to do this.. You need to stay away from me.. I know whenever you looked into my eyes you search for something lost.. I know it what you search for.. I know every time it makes you hurt even more... I don't want to hurt you anymore Kriya.. " I gulped and turned back aagain... and reached close to her in two steps.. I held her face in my hands.. wiped her tears...She did't lift her lashes up
"Kriya, look at me.."
She slowly lift her lashes up and looked into my eyes..
"Kriya.. Bass meri ye ek baat sunlo.. for last time.. Main tumhe aur hurt hote huye nahi dekh sakta.. Main chahata hoon ki hum dono ek dusre ko thoda time de.. iss situation se deal karne ke liye... i don't care about my past now.. I just know that you are my present.. and i can't see you hurt.. bass tum thode time ke liye tum apni mom ke pass chali jao.. ..I am sure it will help you.. jin aankhon mein dekhkar najanae tum kya dhhondhati rehti ho..woh agar tumhare aaspass nahi rahengi tho tum thode time ke liye yeh sab se door reh paogi.. shayad usse tumhari stress kam ho jaye.. Aur main akela yaha tumhari care kaise kar paaonga?.. waha tumhari mom tumhara achchi tarah se khayal rakhegi aur tum jaldi se thik ho jaaogi Please meri baat maano.. aur chali jao.. I promise you ki kuch dino ke baad main khud tumhe lene aaoonga"
She dragged herself back.. and burst out in a loud cry.. she flung herself on bed and buried her face into the pillow... I stood there looking at her.. I didn't know what I was trying do was right or wrong.. but i didn't care about it either.. I just wanted her to be all right... I left the room.. tears that i held back for so long made their way out...
After a while.. mom dad and Kriya's mom came.. All of them went to see her in bedroom.. She had wiped her tears but her swollen eyes were saying it all.. All of them tried to make her understand..
"Betaji, thode dino ke liye aap mere saath rahoge tho kya ho jayega? Aap tho Rey ke ssath rehte apni maa ko bhul hi gayi.. yakeen nahi aat yeh wahi Kriya hain jo apni mom ke bina nahi rehti thi..." Kriya's mom said.
"haan kriya beta.. aap thode dino keliye apni maa ke paas chale jao.. Aapki tabiyat bhi thik nahi hain.. Maa ke paas rahogi tho woh aapka achche se khayal bhi karengi na" Mom said..
"Ma main aa rahi hoon aapke saath.. itna sab sunane ki koi jarurat nahi hain.."
Finally she was ready to go.. I sighed..
My mom dad going to stay there with me.. and kriya's mom was taking her to their place..
They were going to leave after lunch... The entire time i couldn't look into her eyes.. i intentionally ignored her.. I didn't had strength to face that painful stare..
After lunch both of them were ready to leave..
"Reyaansh beta aap apna khayal rakhna.. AB hum chalte hain.. Bye beta.. "
"Bye aunty.. Bye kriya.. Take care.."
She didn't said anything.. She didn't even look at me
Aunty understood the situation and moved from there to say good bye to my parents..
I was looking at other side..
"Kriya.."
She didn't respond.. I turned to see her but she wasn't there.. I looked at the car that was standing in front of the door.. She was sitting inside the car... I went there.. I wanted to talk to her.. For a second i thought i should go and stop her.. But i stopped myself from doing that.. I gulped.. Aunty came outside after their good bye's. I made her sit in the car.. I looked at her as if pleading her to take care of Kriya... She slowly blinked her eye to assure me.. They both left... I kept staring the car until it disappeared.. I felt so empty inside..
As the car moved forward i felt i should have talk to him once...I cursed myself for being angry with him.. I knew he was right.. Whatever he intended wasn't wrong at all... But I just didn't want to stay away from him.. I turned back from the window... the wind kept hitting my face hard...
(Please play this song in background i have explained the lyrics below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXuKDazxSnI )
Jhonka Hawa Ka Aaj Bhi, Julfein Udaata Hoga Na,
She was looking back from the window... her hair kept playing to the rhythm of wind...
Tera Dupatta Aaj Bhi Tere, Sar Se Sarakta Hoga Na,
Baalon Mein Tere Aaj Bhi, Phool Koi Sajta Hoga Na,
I kept looking at the car till it disappeared
Thandi Hawayein Raaton Mein Tujhko, Thapkiyaan Deti Hongi Na
Kriya was trying sleep but she couldn't as she was missing him... she got up in the bed
Chaand Ki Thandak Kwabon Mein Tujhko, Le Ke Toh Jaati Hogi Na,
She looked at the moon that was peeping inside the window...
Sooraj Ki Kirnen Subah Ko Teri Needien Udaati Hogi Na,
Rey's mom moved the curtains to let the rays enter the room...
Mere Khayalon Mein Sanam, Khud Se Hi Baatein Karti Hogi Na,
Kriya was looking into the mirror thinking about him...
Main Dekhta Hoon Chup Chup Ke Tumko, Mehasoos Karti Hogi Na,
Suddenely she looked here and there as if she sensed him around
Jhonka Hawa Aaj Bhi Julfein Udaata Hoga Na
Rey was looking at the textured wall that they painted together..
Tadeva Lagnam(these are the wedding mantras listen to the song)
Kriya remembered there wedding
Kagaz Pe Meri, Tasveer Jaisi Kuch Toh Banati Hogi Na,
Kriya watching their wedding album
Ulat Palat Ke, Dekh Ke Usko Jee Bhar Ke Hansti Hogi Na,
She turned the pages again and again remembering those moments
Hanste Hanste Aankhen Tumhari, Bhar Bhar Aati Hongien Na,
Tears streamed down her eyes..
Mujhko Dhaka Tha, Dhoop Mein Jis Se, Woh Aanchal Bhigoti Hogi Na,
She burst into a loud cry
Saawan Ki Rimjhim Mera Tarana, Yaad Dilati Hogi Na,
Rey lying on bed trying to sense her on the bed beside him
Ik Ik Meri Baatein Tumko Yaad Toh Aati Hongein Na,
He moved his hand on the bed to find her there
Yaad Toh Aati Hogi Na, Yaad Toh Aati Hogi Na,
Tears streamed down in his eyes..
Kya Tum Mere In Sab Sawalon Ka Kuch Toh Jawab Dogi Na
He got up in the bed suddenly shut his eyes tight remembering her
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