Author's Note : I was being lazy for the past two days. But something made me open a Word Document and I started typing. This is the result of that. Its a diary entry by Khushi on the last day of the 6th month contract. Enjoy! Its neither depressing nor happy!
Dear Arnav,
It's not every day I get tortured by you, who threatens me to marry or prepare to see the pearls fall off my sister's eyes. But its not everyday either that I convince myself to hate you but cannot. I remember that day so clearly, when you had me at gun point, throwing on me a demand that ruined me instantly. Not just because it involved keeping my dreams at bay but because it came from you; the man I had grown to have affection for, the man I hoped would keep me under his wings. Instead when you ruthlessly glared with your blood shot eyes, I was afraid that I had lost you; that the man I knew yesterday didn't exist. It suddenly seems unfair that you do all that to me when you were beginning to be kind to me. After all, you were the same one who freaked out when you thought I was the victim of an accident, the very same one who deliberately peeled off the skin of a millionaire and offered to help me serve meals. You think I didn't notice the changes? You think I didn't know when the glares of scorn and hatred turned into something different. I did, Arnav, I very well did. Only you thought I was too naive. Yes I was quiet, but I saw it. Your sudden change got me thinking only after that dreadful night passed. Now that I know it, I do not know what to say. I cannot just cut that part of my life and enter into another one. You couldn't ask me once, just once? Didn't it occur to you, at least once that I might not be at fault. Was it that difficult to trust me? It might have been, but it still ruins me that you didn't think once of pushing me into something that drastic. Right now all I am left with is an empty hole. I can't be happy, not after knowing that you could think I would want to destroy Anjali dii's life. I can't be sad, because I can't drown myself once more into that world; I might just lose myself if I venture out there. I can't turn back and correct everything. Everything is way too complicated now. I can't love you, because I will never be able to recover myself lest you let me down. But most importantly, I can't hate you. It's the most exhausting thing ever. Hating you is like choking on raw poison. You have made it impossible for me to see you in the bad eye. You may not be the bad guy in my story, but you still made a mistake and I want to forgive you. But I can't. You know I can't. I am not human if I did. Now it's up to you where you take us because I have lost everything I had. All I have is the title of being your wife. I beg you to take us where we are happy. You are all I have and I as much as I don't want you in my life if you hate me, I still haven't grown to despise you for what you did to me. I will never beg you to give us a chance, but I will always hope for that. It's up to you.
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