poshah thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Off late, most of the serials or rather all the serials I have been watching and hooked to have one thing in common, the man loved someone else before marriage and marries someone else and now the husband wife love each other.
If we talk of Kunal/Siddhi- having watched this serial I have realised a lot of things
In India especiallly, most of the ppl are very much influenced by the hindi movies which have one common theme, falling in love and getting married to your love at all costs against all odds. These movies had colored my views to a large extent, one knows what is love what one should do in love etc.
But off late, I have realised that being in love after marriage is something different, even if you marry the one you love, marriage is a different ball game all together.
Sharing the room with someone 24*7, living in the same room, sharing the bed (adjusting to each others sleeping habits) is something all together different.
If you stay with someone so close, you end up knowing the person a lot more closely
You know when he or she sleeps, what time they sleep, what do they do before they go to sleep, what is the last thing they do before they go to sleep, how they sleep..snore, on the right side, left side, do they want an ac or feel cold.
You know when they get up, the first thing they do after getting up, do they like bed tea, how long they spend in bathroom, do they read newspapers in the bathroom
You know abt their eating habits, what breakfast do they like, what kind of tea coffee
You know when the other person is actually happy or is really angry, you know what are the right buttons to press and what is the other person's patience levels, beyond what the anger will blast.
You learn to read their facial expressions and gradually can read each other's mind.
You learn to see the love behind the anger, love behind the fight and love behind everything
You get used to the fragrance in the bathroom (and lose hair as well )
You get used to the room feeling like a lived in room with someone sharing the room with you
You learn to think of someone else before you
If you are living in a joint family, you have to love not only each other but also your husband/wife's family- where loving each other is not sufficient, but you haev to love/respect all the other members of the family
And many a times it is the small things in life that matter, knowing what kind of tea/coffee the other person likes, how much sugar, what kind of sugar, waiting for each other for dinner, lying to the family members for each other, sacrificing the small morning nap to make the bed tea.
These are all small things but more important and difficult to know then the cliched, what is your fav color, fav movie, fav holiday spot..these tidbits are easy to know but it takes a while to know when the smile is a fake or real one, when the it is ok actually means it is not ok, what is their fav season and why, do they like snow.rain or spring.
Being married and being in love before are completely different things..and for anyone compariing their previous love is not fair at all, being married changes everything I think?

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shamrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Thanks Poshah [ sorry not sure what you are called as]
amazing post. All valid points on love after marriage which turns out to be more stronger as you have gone through rough times to reach there. Also aptly describes Sinal's situation as well which is why probably we are being shown why it is taking a long time for them to confess to each other
-Rani thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
Loved your post a lot Pooja. You have so beautifully pointed out all the minor adjustment that couples make after marriage to make their marriage a successful one. Failing to make these minor adjustment can arise some major marital problems and at times these same minor issue can cause even divorce between the couples.

I know every couple has to go through some if not all of these changes after marriage. I know from my personal experience that no matter how long have you known the other person, there will be some surprises for you about the other person after marriage. I married a guy who I dated for 10 years and even lived with him for 2 years before getting married yet had some surprises in store for me after marriage. The problem was not so much with each-other, but adjusting with each-other's families.

So you have rightly so pointed out how all the scarifies marriage requires which in love can be ignored. Sinal are also going through the similar phase of their marriage where the problem is not their families, but the problem is themselves failing to understand each-other and their actions/intentions. Hope they are passed this phase soon and enjoy their marital bliss to the fullest.
Edited by Iamrani - 13 years ago
ShaiqMadiha thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
Literary awesome,, all u said i can say is true...ur description is just awesome for after marriage life...and its soley dependent on compromise,understanding and love...
Manavi_kesari thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
ya love is bonding between two hearts but marriage is bonding between two families.both are entirely different things tats why even ppl loved for many yrs after marriage they get seperated.
tanyashrivastav thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6
lovely post poshah ...loved how u have beautifully described the transition in love after marriage ...and u have explained it in the light of sinal's life very very aptly...fully agreed with all your points...
norzar thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
hi

awesome post. loved reading it

norzar
poshah thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: shamrish

Thanks Poshah [ sorry not sure what you are called as]
amazing post. All valid points on love after marriage which turns out to be more stronger as you have gone through rough times to reach there. Also aptly describes Sinal's situation as well which is why probably we are being shown why it is taking a long time for them to confess to each other

thanks Shamrish. I couldnt agree more with you, I think love after marriage is much stronger 😊 . Poor Richa has no chance "
poshah thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Iamrani

Loved your post a lot Pooja. You have so beautifully pointed out all the minor adjustment that couples make after marriage to make their marriage a successful one. Failing to make these minor adjustment can arise some major marital problems and at times these same minor issue can cause even divorce between the couples.


I know every couple has to go through some if not all of these changes after marriage. I know from my personal experience that no matter how long have you known the other person, there will be some surprises for you about the other person after marriage. I married a guy who I dated for 10 years and even lived with him for 2 years before getting married yet had some surprises in store for me after marriage. The problem was not so much with each-other, but adjusting with each-other's families.

So you have rightly so pointed out how all the scarifies marriage requires which in love can be ignored. Sinal are also going through the similar phase of their marriage where the problem is not their families, but the problem is themselves failing to understand each-other and their actions/intentions. Hope they are passed this phase soon and enjoy their marital bliss to the fullest.

thanks Rani. I agree, on the face of it they are minor but at times cause for ego issues as well. And as you have pointed out, marriage is a complete new set of things.. and adjusting with each others families is not easy and when so many ppl aer invovled, ppl are bound to make mistakes.
I think they are both at a crucial point, where they know thier feelings but need to voice it once..which is mere formalitiy now 😉
poshah thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: tanyashrivastav

lovely post poshah ...loved how u have beautifully described the transition in love after marriage ...and u have explained it in the light of sinal's life very very aptly...fully agreed with all your points...

well it was a learning for me as well 😉 i tried to keep the p[oints related to them..but i think one cant compare the loev before, i saw quite a few posts where ppl were saying if she loved anand then how come. I think as humna beings, if you stay with someone else and someone like Kunal who is so caring, then she is bound to fall in love. And anand no matter how strong the love was, it was with someone who is no more and here she is going to spend such a long time with a person, having been through so many sorrows, joys..love with Kunal cant be compared to love with Anand

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