"Nidhi," Ashutosh called her name weakly. She was sitting on a chair beside his bed, holding his hands and resting her forehead on them. She looked up at him. Her eyes were tired and swollen from all the crying. But there was also a hint of smile in them now that he was conscious.
She closed her eyes for a moment and sent up a silent prayer, "Abhi kaisa lag raha hai aapko?"
"Lag raha hai ki jannat ki sair kar ke aaya hoon," Ashutosh smiled.
"Aisi baatein mat kijiye please. Main Dr. Sinha ko bula kar lati hoon."
"Thodi der baitho Nidhi. Phir bula lena."
"Kya halat bana li aapne apni? Doosron ka health survey karne gaye the aur khud ka khayaal nahin rakh paye."
"Jo hota hai achchhe ke liye hi hota hai. Kam se kam isi bahane tum mere paas to ho. Warna to..."
"Aise kyon bol rahe hain aap? Main kahan gayi thi? Ab aap kuchh mat boliye. Main aur risk nahin le sakti. Aapka check up karna zaroori hai. Ho sakta hai aur anti-venoms ki zaroorat ho."
Nidhi got up still holding his hands. Movement in the hands caused pain in his upper arm.
"Ouch!"
"Kya hua? Oh! Injections ki wajah se dard ho raha hoga. Bachchon ko jitne injections lagaye hain na aapne, sabki aah lagi hai. Sabke badle injections diye gaye hain aaj aapko," she tried to make the mood light.
Ashutosh smiled as she let go of his hands carefully.
She did not let him talk after Dr. Sinha had done the check up and given him some more medicine. She forced him to go to sleep. But she stayed by his bedside the entire night.
--
He still hadn't woken up and it was time for her to start her duty for the day. She freshened up in the hospital itself and had to leave him reluctantly. She called Anji to inform her about his well being and Anji decided to drop by at the hospital on her way to work.
"Nidhi. Coffee ke liye time hai tere paas?"
"Haan Anji. Chal. Hospital canteen mein peete hain."
"Tune itne dinon tak mujhse dhang se baat nahin ki, maine kuchh nahin kaha. Lekin kal ke breakdown ke baad tu Dr. Ashutosh ko lekar apni feelings ko deny nahin kar sakti Nidhi."
"Deny nahin kar rahi Anji," Nidhi said in a defeated tone.
"To phir mujhe bata ki kya chal raha hai. Obviously all is not rosy. Kuchh dinon tak chahakti rahti hai, to agle kuchh dinon mein khaana-peena chhod deti hai. Bachpan se aaj sak sab kuchh share kiya hai tune mere saath. Ye bhi share kar ke dekh. Agar solution nahin bhi ho koi, to dil to halka hoga na tera."
"Anji. Main khud hi itni confused hoon ki tujhe kya bataun."
"Apna confusion hi bata de Nidhi. Dr. Ashutosh ko pata hai na?"
"Haan."
"Aur?"
"Aur yahin to confusion hai Anji. Agar woh meri feelings ko nahin samajhte, ya nahin reciprocate karte to main maan leti ki it is not meant to be. Lekin woh bhi... woh bhi mujhe pasand karte hain Anji. But he is not ready to take the relationship forward."
"Why not?"
"Unhein lagta hai ki ye relationship - iska koi future nahin hai. Hamare age gap ki wajah se... Thode samay ke liye main bhi unki baatein maan baithi thi Anji. Lekin kal mujhe mahsoos hua ki main unke bina..."
"Hmm... Unki concern bhi genuine hai Nidhi. Ye to kissi ko bhi hogi. In fact, ghar waalon ko hogi. Baba ko, Dadi Bua ko, Mummy aur Daddy ko bhi..."
"Tujhe kya lagta hai Anji?"
"Nidhi. Agar ismein teri khushi hai to you have my support. Mere hisaab se to agar tum log ek doosre ke saath khush rah sakte ho, to kissi aur ko problem nahin honi chahiye. Lekin sach ye hai ki bade log apne tareeke se sochte hain. Aur unhein chinta hogi. Baaki logon ki baat tu ignore bhi kar sakti hai. Lekin Baba..."
"Anji. Mujhe lagta hai ki agar Baba ko aitraaz nahin ho, to shayad Dr. Ashutosh ko bhi confidence milega. Woh Baba ko maante bhi bahut hain."
"Phir to Baba ke baare mein pata lagate hain."
"Par kaise? Main to baat nahin kar sakti unse."
"Woh mujh par chhod de. One problem at a time tackle karte hain. Pahle Dr. Ashutosh ko theek ho jaane de. Phir ye dekhenge."
"Okay."
"Aur haan. Saiyaan ji ke chakkar mein apne maayke waalon ko bhool mat jaana Dr. Nidhi Verma. Ghar aa jaana aaj. Baba, Dadi Bua sab pareshaan ho rahe hain ki aisi kya emergency aa gayi."
"Anji!!!" Nidhi glared at her in mock anger.
Anji laughed and left.
--
"Ab kaisa feel kar rahe hain aap?" Nidhi decided to check on Ashutosh before leaving for the day.
"Bilkul fit hoon. Kal se wapas join bhi kar loonga, bacchon ko dubara injections dilwane ke liye."
Nidhi smiled, "Meri duty ka time khatam ho gaya hai. Main chalti hoon."
"Yeah," Ashutosh' face fell a bit, but he forced a smile, "Tum kal bhi nahin gayi thi. Baba chinta kar rahe honge."
"Baba to phir bhi chup baithe honge. Dadi Bua ne aasmaan sar par utha rakha hoga. Waise Dr. Armaan ka phone aaya tha. Woh raat mein yahan rahenge aapke saath. Aapke kapde wagerah le kar aa rahe hain."
Ashutosh appeared grateful to her for taking care of him, "Thanks Nidhi."
"Thanks kahne ki to zaroorat nahin hai," Nidhi said sincerely, "Anyway. Good night. Aur apna khayal rakhiyega."
"You too."
--
Anji was having breakfast at Nidhi's place. Baba noticed that she was lost and was hardly eating.
"Anji. Kya hua hai? Kiski yaadon mein kho gayin?" Baba teased her.
"Nahin Baba. Aise hi. Kuchh khaas baat nahin hai."
"Khaas nahin hai to phir bata do."
"Chhodiye na Baba. Aap bhi pata nahin kya sochenge?"
"Anji!"
"Pahle promise kijiye ki aap Daddy ko nahin batayenge."
"Ye koi pahli baar hai jo tum mujhe ye promise le rahi ho?"
"Nahin."
"Phir. Batao kya baat hai."
"Actually Baba. Baat meri nahin hai. Meri ek friend hai. Usko bada dilemma ho raha hai. Shaadi ko le kar."
"Woh to sabko hi hota hai. Itna bada faisla hai zindagi ka. Waise kya dilemaa hai?"
"Woh ek ladke se pyaar karti hai. Lekin uske parents raazi nahin hain?"
"Kyon bhai?"
"Woh love marriage ke against hain."
"Bakwaas baat hai. Aaj kal kaun apne bachchon ko kathputliyon ki tarah nachana chahta hai? Aaj ki generation smart hai, apne faisle khud le sakti hai."
Anji and Nidhi exchanged a glance. Nidhi felt happy.
"Lekin us ladke ki caste bhi alag hai."
"Are. Ye kaisi dakiyanoosi baat hui. Logon ne history ki class nahin li kya? Caste wagrah ekdum bakwaas consideration hain. Agar ladka achchha hai, well-settled hai, dono ek-doosre ke saath compatible hain, to phir caste wagerah matter nahin karta."
"Ek aur problem hai Baba."
"Woh bhi aisi hi kuchh non-sensical hogi."
"Mujhe to non-sensical lagti hai, lekin uske parents ko nahin lagti."
"Kya?"
"Woh ladka umra mein usse kaafee bada hai. Kuchh 15 saal bada hoga."
"15 saal?" Baba was surprised, "Ye to odd hai Anji."
"To aapko lagta hai ki is wajah se unhein shaadi nahin karni chahiye."
"Ab kissi aur ke baare mein to main kya kahoon. Lekin haan - isko lekar agar uske parents aitraaz kar rahe hain to jayaz hai. Do-teen saal ka faasla theek hai. Zyada se zyada paanch saal. Lekin dus-pandrah saal bahut zyada hote hain. Ye to do alag alag generations ho gaye. Adjustment bahut mushkil hogi."
"To agar aap uske parents ki jagah hote to aap bhi object karte?"
"Definitely karta. Main bachchon ko aazaadi dene mein bharosa rakhta hoon. Lekin agar koi obvious galti kar raha ho, woh bhi aisi galti jo poori zindagi ko affect kare, to phir to parents ko interfere karna hi chahiye. Kyon? Main galat kah raha hoon?"
"Nahin Baba," Anji smiled nervously.
Nidhi's face fell. Anji noticed that, but she didn't want to make it too obvious. So, she changed the topic.
--
"Nidhi. Tumne aaj ka paper dekha tha. City mein ek flower show ho raha hai. Hamein chalna chahiye. You will get a good opportunity to click some photographs," Nidhi had some free time after lunch before her duty started and Ashutosh had asked her to meet him in his office.
"Hmm..."
"Kab chalna chahogi?"
"Hmmm..."
"Nidhi. Tum meri baat sun bhi rahi ho?"
"Haan? Ji... Sorry... Kya bol rahe the aap?"
"Kya baat hai? Subah se hi kuchh ukhdi-ukhdi lag rahi ho?"
"Nahin to..."
"Nahin kaise? Subah se na khud kuchh bol rahi ho. Main koi baat karoon to sun bhi nahin rahi ho. Batao mujhe kya hua hai?"
"Rahne dijiye na."
"Nahin rahne doonga."
"Kyon nahin rahne denge? Koi zabardasti hai? Ab mujhe nahin batana aapko to nahin batana."
"Aisi kya baat ho sakti hai jo tum mujhe nahin bata sakti?"
"Kuchh bhi ho sakta hai."
"Nidhi. Tum bekaar mein bahas kar rahi ho. Don't test my patience. Mere sabra ka imtihaan mat lo."
"Imtihaan to abhi shuru hi kahan hue hain? Imtihaan to jab aayenge to pata nahin aap unhein face bhi karna chahenge bhi ki nahin," Nidhi broke into tears.
That startled Ashutosh and he forgot his anger, "Nidhi. Hey! Come on. Ro kyon rahi ho? Achcha. Main nahin poochhoonga. Rona band karo please!" He offered her his handkerchief. She wiped her tears.
"I am sorry Nidhi. Main tumhein force kar raha tha. Lekin tum jaanti ho ki mera intention galat nahin tha. Bas tumhein pareshaan nahin dekhna chahta..."
"Main bhi aapse badtamizi nahin karna chahti. Lekin aapko bataungi to..."
"To kya hoga?"
"Aap phir se mujhse door ho jayenge."
"Nidhi?" Ashutosh did not know where that came from, "Aisi baatein bol kar bhi tum ye zidd kar rahi ho ki mujhe nahin bataogi kya chal raha hai tumhare dimaag mein? Don't you think it is unfair?"
Nidhi nodded, "Waise bhi. Zindagi bhar thode hi na chhupa sakti hoon. Lekin main kya karoon? Agar aapko ye bataungi ki Baba hamare rishte ko accept nahin karenge to aap to yahi decide karenge na ki is rishte ka koi future nahin hai. Aur main kya jawaab doongi uska?"
Ashutosh' eyes reflected her pain. He held her hands and said sincerely, "Nidhi. I am sorry. I am really sorry ki maine tumhein itna insecure kar diya hai khud ko lekar. Lekin Nidhi. Mere confusion aur uncertainty ke din ab chale gaye hain. Tumhein mujhe koi jawaab dene ki zaroorat nahin hai. Tumne ek baar kaha tha na ki tum chahti ho ki main apne liye decide karoon. Pata hai maine kaise decide kiya?"
Nidhi nodded negatively.
"Us din health survey se lautate hue jo accident hua tha, usmein behosh hone ke pahle ke palon mein mujhe laga tha ki main ab bachoonga nahin. Aur pata us samay meri ek matra khwahish kya thi? Main chahta tha ki kaash tum mere paas hoti. Aur main tumhein bata paata ki tum mere liye kitna maayne rakhti ho."
Nidhi's eyes became moist and she blinked to hold her tears. Ashutosh laughed slightly as he spoke further, "To jab bhagwaan ne, ya mere doctor colleagues ne, mujhe meri zindagi wapas di, aur aankhein kholte hi maine tumhein apne paas paaya, to maine apna faisla le liye tha Nidhi. Meri khushi tumse hai, tumme hai. Main tumhein nahin kho sakta hoon. Mujhe pata hai ki jo problems maine sochi thi, woh kahin gayab nahin ho jayengi. Lekin ab main pahle ki tarah unse bhaagna nahin chahta. Tumhari tarah unka saamna karna chahta hoon. Tumhare saath. Kya tumhein mera saath manzoor hai?"
Nidhi could not stop her tears from flowing. But she smiled through them. Ashutosh did not hesitate this time and wiped her tears with his hands. Then he pulled her in a gentle hug.
"Aur Nidhi," he spoke again after they broke the hug, "Baba ko hum kaise manayenge ye main nahin jaanta. Lekin itna promise karta hoon ki kabhi unke against ja kar kuchh karne ke liye tumhein pressurize nahin karoongi. Balki agar tum aisa kuchh karna bhi chaho to nahin karne doonga. Isliye us baare mein chinta karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Okay?"
Nidhi nodded.
"Ab kuchh bologi, ya isharon mein hi baaki baatein karni padengi?" Ashutosh teased her.
"Lunch break khatam ho gaya hai, mujhe wapas ward mein jaana hai," Nidhi said with an innocent pout. Ashutosh laughed out loud.
"Shaam mein flower show dekhne chalna hai? Maine baat wahin se shuru ki thi. Tum kuchh achchhe photographs click kar sakti ho."
"Sure."
--