A sea of men in flooded past me, their white coats glinting brightly against the dark blanket of the night. Red trails of blood coloured the marble floor of the hospital. Her blood. I raised my hand, shakily, looking at the faint streaks of red which lined them. The image of the girl whom I had seen just moments ago was unwilling to part from my mind. So frail... so helpless... so innocent... and so unbelievably dear to me. The one who had managed to capture my heart and soul. I closed my eyes, allowing a lone tear to spill from them. "Come back to me Khushi..." I whispered. "Don't leave me... Don't leave me like maa..." For the second time in my life, I, Arnav Singh Raizada, felt helpless against destiny. It was as if the past had returned to haunt me... I could see it happening in front of my eyes... just as it had happened with maa... I had managed to hide my pain then... but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it if Khushi was met with the same fate. I buried my face in my hands, taking in the smell of her blood - the only symbol I had to mark her existance. The girl who had brought me back from the depths of sorrow... was herself drowning in her pain... and I could do nothing to help her... If it hadn't been the sound of footsteps approaching me, I may have never lifted my head. But I did. And in front of me, I saw a doctor. His face solemn, his eyes apologetic. I was scared. I didn't want to know. And yet I did. There was a desperation within me that cannot be explained in mere words. "Please..." I whispered. "Tell me she's ok... please..." He pursed his lips, examining the file of papers he held in his hands. "Mr. Raizada, I'm extremely sorry but..." I didn't have the heart to listen to anything more. Suddenly, my mind drifted back to the blessed day at the mandir, Khushi's words echoing in my ears.
"Ek din aisa aayega jab aapko pata chalega ke aapne apne liye jo kuch bhi likha, woh devi mayyia ne aapka haath pakad ke aapse likhwaya hai. Aap jo kuch bhi karte hain, unki marzi se karte hain. Aur aage bhi unki hi marzi hogi. Lekin jis din aapko ye pata chalega na, uss din wahan hum nahi honge."
And I felt the earth shatter beneath my feet.
"Mr. Raizada!" I heard a voice, which seemed to come from miles away, calling to me. "Mr. Raizada, are you alright...?" The doctor shot a look of concern toward me. I nodded, shakily. "Look. Doctor. I need to see Khushi. I need to see her."
The doctor shook his head, reefing through his papers once more. "I'm sorry Mr. Raizada but your wife's condition is very serious. We cannot allow you inside right now."
The sharp intake of my breath shot jolts of shock through my veins. My hands clenched into fists and I willed myself to blink back the sting of tears in my eyes. It felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my body and shredded to bits. "No..." I mumbled, suddenly feeling weak. I fell limp into the seat behind me, trying to pull the broken pieces of my heart together.
"She has to be alright..." I whispered. "She has to be." The doctor sighed, straightening his glasses before replying. "We are trying our level best sir, and-" I suddenly felt a burst of fury within me. How could I, Arnav Singh Raizada, LOSE?! And that too against DESTINY?! No... I wouldn't let that happen... I couldn't let that happen. I stood up, grabbing hold of the collar of his shirt.
"AND WHAT IF YOUR LEVEL BEST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH DAMNIT?!" His eyes grew wide in unspoken fear. "L-Look Mr. Raizada. This kind of behaviour.. is completely u-unacceptable. I'm telling you that we are trying our best and we will continue to do so. But your wife is not responsive to any of our medications. Now what do you suggest we do about that? You must remember that we are only doctors."
My mind was swirling amongst a mix of emotions... concern.. anger.. and above all, helplessness. "I will pay you whatever you want, and I don't care what you have to do. Just save my Khushi. Bring her back to me.. please..." I begged, collapsing to the ground in defeat. He hesitantly bent down next to me his eyes flickering momentarily onto mine before replying, "We will do everything in our power to save her Mr. Raizada. But as far as your money goes. I'm a doctor. My first priority is to save lives - not to cheat and collect money. Besides, your money will be of no help right now. Have a seat and we'll let you know if we make any progress."
He helped me into my seat and gave me a slight nod before taking his leave. My lips quivered in fright. What if something happened to her..? What if... what if...? I buried my head in my hands. There were so many unanswered questions. So much confusion. It felt as if I were trapped. Trapped within myself. Unable to help her. Unable to take away her pain. I felt useless. The world around me felt useless.
Hot tears flooded down my cheeks, streaking them with their marks. "Why Devi Mayyia..? Why did it have to be Khushi...? Why not me?! It was I who never believed in you.. it was I who never trusted you... Then why is the girl I love with all my heart getting my punishment..? That girl.. devi mayyia... she has loved you... kept her faith in you.. like no one else. If you hurt her... if you do ANYTHING to her... I swear God... i will kill myself as well. First you took Maa away... and now... her too? No... you can't... and you won't... Just... just keep her safe God... don't take her away from me... I need her..."
I heard a heavy sob escape my lips. I didn't know what to do... Khushi was my happiness... the light in the darkness of my life... She gave me reason to live... What would I do without her...? I shuddered, allowing another flood of tears to soak their way through my skin. "God, give her the strength..." I whispered.
I stood up, shakily proceeding to the door of Khushi's hospital room. One look, and my heart would be at peace. The round glass window on the white door to her room beckoned me closer. I had to see her. I placed my hand on the door as I nervously peered inside.
My heart nearly stopped.
Khushi's face was a ghastly shade of white. Her hair was spread out on the pillow underneath her in a mess and a white blanket covered her shaking body. Her eyes were closed tightly and her eyebrows edged together. There was so much pain...
My breath came out in ragged gasps as I continued to gaze at her, dumbfounded. It felt as if someone were squeezing my lungs shut. I couldn't breathe. With every passing moment she became more distant to me, and I could do nothing but watch. I bit my lip hating myself all the more. If I hadn't backed her up against the kitchen counter, that damned scorpion would have never bitten her.. and she would have probably been happily munching on some jalebis right now... I had hurt her... If she... if she died, it would be my fault entirely.
I blinked my tears back fixing my gaze to her quivering lips. Was she... was she trying to say something..? But.. how could that be? She was unconcious. I looked at her once more, this time noticing the movement of her lips more carefully. She was definately saying something. A word. Repeatedly. I moved back from the door, afraid to think of her actions as a good sign. But if she had in fact regained consciousness, I had to call a doctor.
I rushed through the ominous looking halls of the hospital, my eyes in frantic search of a doctor who could help. And I was lucky enough to spot the same doctor who had offered me support a few minutes back.
"Doctor!" I hollered breathlessly, stopping him in his tracks. "It-It's K-Khushi! I think she's trying to say something!"
"What? But how is that-" I didn't let him complete his sentence. I grabbed his hand pulling him quickly along with me to her room. "Look!" I demanded, peering into the glass window once again. Without wasting a moment, the doctor was inside, and the door was slammed shut in my face. From the door's window, I could see him rushing over to Khushi's side, adjusting the machinery beside him and placing a stethescope to her chest. Her breathing quickened and I could see the desperate rise and fall of her chest.
Anupamaa
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Bollywood
29