New SS: Starlight Express CLOSED Indefinitely - Page 8

They managed to pass forty five minutes without getting into personal details; not even what they did for a living or where they worked. Though they knew, they might run into each other at the coffee shop, somehow holding off on information that would help locate the other had seemed like a good idea until then. However their conversation hadn't been entirely impersonal either. They had talked a bit about short films on the rise and then gone tangent discussing politics for a short while. When that seemed like it might keep them from going ahead on a friendly note, he'd switched gears to books. Then they finally stumbled on the infamous eight minute silence, upon not having an opinion to share - that wouldn't come out without offending the other - on the book she was reading: The unbearable lightness of being. And that is when his curiosity about her disappearance from the coffee shop had gotten impossible to ignore its gnawing presence so much so that it forced its way out of his mouth.

"So did you move to Seattle?" His enquiry made her look up from the book. He could clearly see the struggle on her face, her eyes widening from a mild surprise.

"You don't have to answer that if you don't want to..." He added quickly, "I was just curious because I haven't seen you at the coffee shop all month"

His concern wasn't hinting at anything, she thought and she attempted to make light of the situation with great efforts at her end. "Oh! so you were indeed noticing me..." She said with a contained giggle.

"You know Geet, after a tiring day, all men are bound to notice a beautiful woman who walks into a coffee shop looking like the way you normally do"

She didn't back off at his compliment as he'd expected. Although it was clear as the light of day, that his words had had a flustering effect on her, as he watched her blush right down to her roots.

"And what would that be?" She asked with a brittle smile and with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

"And that is just fishing for more compliments..." He pointed out, making her turn red as a tomato.

Just then his phone rang and the few seconds he took to check the number and cut the call had been the only reprieve she needed to choose her words fittingly. Like it was another life experience as he'd called it and not a life draining episode that makes its mark on every waking day. Sympathy was the last thing she needed from a fellow traveller when she wasn't even three quarters into the trip. But the bigger question in her mind was the need, she felt, to divulge to a stranger, as if the solace she had been looking for would come to her in that journey.

While he was examining something in his phone screen with a raised brow, she began, invoking a keen interest in him. "I had gone to visit my parents in Seattle for Thanksgiving and I just couldn't come back to SF after that, until this day..." She spoke and just as her voice threatened to crack she shifted her gaze to the scenes that were flying past her window.

"For the first few days, I wanted to stay away from the SF and in the last remaining weeks my parents didn't want me to live alone in the state I was in...Then they had to leave for their yearend cruise which brings me back to the city"

In seconds, his mind began contemplating the reasons that could have forced her parents to keep her under their vigilant watch. He simply hoped they were the usual ever-concerned dramatic Indian parents, who never considered their children grown-up even if they were hitting their forties. To him - without so much as a speck of evidence - she appeared stronger than most women he'd met in his lifetime. Her eyes that lacked life and color was proof enough that she was gravely upset about whatever it is that'd happened, but her dry eyes devoid of tears was testimony enough that she had better reigns over her emotions; either that or her hurt ran deep to be exuded with tears, he concluded.

Leaning forward in his seat with his fingers laced on the food tray, he spoke with hesitation. "So it's man trouble..."

She looked at him with a withering smile, "At this age, women predominantly have only two problems. Some have trouble finding a good man and others hardly know what to do with the ones they have already found"

"The same goes for men too" He remarked, garnering much of her attention in the drowning voice with which he spoke and she sharply turned to face him.

Her image wasn't like seeing himself in the mirror. Without doubt, their feelings for their ex-partners ran at different levels and were quite incomparable. But it was also certain that they were at different stages of grief despite coping for the same one month period. Upon deducing where she stood in the path, to being back to her normal self, he felt duty bound to drag her along.

Before he could get her to talk to him, he thought it was best to share something about him. At first, he'd imagined he would never find the words to phrase his story in a way that wouldn't evoke much of anything in her. When he hadn't bothered to explain his breakup with Sam to his Daadima or any of his friends, he was amazed at his readiness to speak to her willingly about it. In reality, it wasn't exactly like opening up to a stranger; there was every possibility that he might bump into her at the coffee shop and oddly it didn't deter him from sharing his inside thoughts with her. He was strangely convinced that she wouldn't offer advice, or even be burdened by his own adventure on heartbreak high.

He told her about Sam and a few anecdotes from their early days of their relationship. Then with as much sincerity he could gather in his voice, he spoke about the differences that cropped up after she'd moved to Europe and about his share of insecurities that had widened their existing rift. And he briefly touched on her roman interests that had permanently ended their relationship.

"I'm sorry Maan...my intention was not to..." Her eyes quickly swept past him and he cut in.

"But it was my intention that you know about me...that's all. In some ways it actually felt better" True to his words, she saw the relief flood his form and the ease that came over his posture. Instantly, she tore her gaze away from him after an unknown discomfort crept under her skin and she quickly excused herself to use the washroom.

Before leaving her seat, she'd noticed the slight furrowing of his forehead and it began bothering her to great extent then. And just as quickly, in that same line of thought, she also caught onto a perceived hint that she'd failed to recognize her turn to elaborate; a natural expectation following his confession. How could she tell him that she was running because she couldn't come up with a word of comfort in return?

In the bathroom while she washed her face, she wondered at things she hadn't considered before. Obviously, he didn't appear as affected as she did. He was light years away from a breakdown and he'd spoken in a way that indicated he was partially removed from the subject of his past. It was beyond her, to understand why women took longer to recuperate from such emotional traumas and she felt a faint sting of jealousy.

She pulled a tissue from the roll and stared at her reflection, as she caught herself slipping in baseless prejudice that he didn't deserve. It was embarrassing that she'd judged him and shook her head in an effort to shake away her initial thoughts. She knew many men in real life who had gone insane after their break-ups and had grieved their ex-relationships for years. She corrected herself that relationships hurt despite the gender of the person; that it was the bond between the people involved that could be attributed to the depth of the pain inflicted and the time it took to get out of it. It was then she remembered an old saying her Daarji had used a long time ago...Some waters run shallow and others deep.

When she came back to the coach car - after being conceded about the fact that she was plain jealous of him for trying to keep up with life - she saw him back in his seat instead and took that as a sign he was perhaps offended. Drawing a deep breath, she walked up to his row and took the seat opposite to him. He shuffled in his seat taking in her presence and she began speaking, before he could respond.

"I honestly didn't know how to react Maan...It was a bit startling to find two people in the same boat. Indeed, it's a small world" she said, smiling weakly.

"My experience isn't much different than yours, except that we were one step ahead by being engaged for a short while" She said with her gaze lowered and casually rolling her cellphone in her palms.

She continued when he didn't interrupt. "Abhinav and I met as colleagues. He was in corporate law and I was the HR in the same office. We went out for a while and his parents pushed him to propose marriage only after six months into the relationship and I guess he reluctantly did just to impress his very desi parents" She scoffed and added "Of course...I didn't know that then"

It wasn't like she was barring her soul, for it was no mistake of hers that she needed to come clean about and yet she felt a puzzling sense of release. She had never talked about it with such objectivity and the fact that she wasn't a chaos inside - while she narrated the string of events with some restrain she owed to a stranger - made her see things in a light, she hadn't before. Although the real meaning only began sinking in those unsuspecting moments, she was aware that she'd spoken the exact same words a hundred times in the last month. And she looked at him, as if she wanted to examine his face for some sign...some strange pull of his eyes that were guiding her to a higher plain of comprehension. Words began flowing out of her as if he was anchoring them and she looked him at him - without averting her gaze away - as she spoke to him further.

"We were planning to spend Thanksgiving with my parents and we were flying out together. He was supposed to meet me at the airport two days before the holiday, but he missed his flight. Due to the holiday rush, he didn't get tickets immediately and promised to fly later. Only, he never showed up at Seattle. We fought and he walked away from everything, saying that we were two different people and wanted different things, that I was too Indian for his tastes"

Her voice turned low with a shiver as she went on about her parents' regret "Interestingly that was the first time, my parents felt awfully guilty about enforcing an Indian way of life even after having left the country ages ago...They didn't know that hours of lecturing me on our traditions and culture to ensure I keep my Indian morality alive until marriage would backfire for the very same reasons"

Meeting his eyes, she gave him a small smile, her eyes showing evidently that she hadn't reconciled a few hurting truths until that moment.

"Geet..." He said returning her smile "I'm not going to dismiss anything by saying any of this is insignificant...I know it hurts. But I will tell you what my Daadima taught me"

It was difficult for her to picture him conversing with an aged woman with silver hair and taking any of it seriously. Somehow, she felt a touch of innocence in his words, as he mentioned his Daadima. His rugged features and virile build had clearly misguided her into misunderstanding him...Well when did she start having so many pre-conceived notions about a man she didn't know at all?

It troubled him to offer unsolicited advice, but he did it anyways. He asked her to only focus on the day she was living then and nothing else. He told her to forget about the future and single mindedly work on making that day an eventful one. He also added other tit-bits that had worked for him and ended with a vague assurance to hear her out, if ever she needed him, given that they were practically neighbors.

"On that note, I think we should toast on some" He picked up his cellphone resting on the tray table and pressed a few buttons, before he read out loud. "Asian style Leafy Green entree salad with Carrots, Almonds, Sesame, Scallions and Chicken" Mockingly, he gagged to his side with a sick look on his face and she burst out laughing. "I'm vegetarian...Maan"

"Too bad, then you can toast on the Fresh Mozzarella and Roasted Tomato Focaccia Sandwich with Arugula and Basil Mayonnaise" His face retained a similar distaste to the only vegetarian choice on the menu and he announced "I would just stick to dessert than eat that"

Quietly the moments they had opened up to each other was being buried by incoming time that was filled with their conversation about the food choices in the menu. They smoothly drifted to other topics and it no longer seemed difficult to express an opinion that didn't match the other's point of view.

Amidst the gales of laughter that began showing up in the little time they had before lunch, he couldn't help notice her smiles that held out for a little while longer than they originally did. In return his own smiles widened at a job well done. It didn't matter how small a difference he'd made, but he was glad all the same. In some ways, he felt, her story had done him more good, that it had done to her.