'I'll be out of this place soon!' said Shaan as he saw that Suraj was giving him the go signal.
Smiling, he told Natasha to hold for a moment and proceeded to turn the factory machine on. The only thought in his mind, I'll get to go home tonight.
He was about to tell Mr. Choksi to call the car when he heard the loud crash and then people screaming. His vision started to blur. All he could hear were screams. All he could see was Suraj, still twitching from the current running through his body.
---
The doctor came back into the hallway with a somber expression.
'I'm sorry; we could not save the patient.' Suraj's father slid to the floor, his cries echoing through Shaan's mind.
I killed him. I turned the machine on. It was my fault.
---
'You killed him! You called him to the factory on his day off and you turned the machine on! The machine that took my life away from me! The machine that took a son away from his family!'
Although it was low, her voice held such intense hatred for him that it took Shaan's breath away. He had to take a step back to stop the suffocating feeling that was engulfing him.
---
Shaan woke up with a startle. Another bad night. Sighing, he grabbed the glass of water from atop the nightstand and took a big gulp. These nightmares had become a constant way of reminding him of the injustice he had done to Khanak. They were his way of letting himself know that he was the reason for the sadness that was evident in her eyes; that he was the reason she spent numerous nights sobbing until she was too tired to do anymore.
His days were fine. He was always so busy with work and fixing his problems with Natasha that he forgot about what happened. When he saw Natasha's sad face every morning, it was easy for him to blame Khanak for being the cause. It was easy to pretend like it was all Khanak's fault and hate her for everything she had done to him. It was easy to forget all of the things that he had done to her; to hide his own guilt and pretend like everything was normal.
It was the nights that were problematic. The moments in time when Shaan was at the point between sleeping and falling asleep where when everything started to become evident. He re-lived the past again. He re-lived the effects that his actions had caused. His mistake. These were the moments in time when Shaan didn't have anyone to pretend to; when the guilt of what he had caused consumed his whole body. These were the moments when he remembered that it was his mistake that had caused all of this. He was the cause.
Cricket
