DAYA's B'day Contest 2(STORY) RESULT DECLARED

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Soonaali

@Soonaali

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#131

Originally posted by: sunnyp1414
Reviews
Reviews are just my personal opinion. I read stories quite fast paced so may be I missed some point.

STORY 5

Two bag exchanged. Loved the suspense. . There were few spelling mistake due to which I had to re-read and make out what writer wants to say. Towards the end story was very fast paced. Suddenly in investigation everyone wish Daya Happy Birthday. Good one I actually didn't expected it. I just didn't understood how can that two person sometime act as Anti Corruption officer, then intelligence officer and ACP sir couldn't even make out. ACP sir accompanied them to Daya's house. There were few dialogues which I loved.

Originally posted by: khota_sikka_sri
My reviews:

Story 5: I loved the suspense, but there were spelling mistakes, which made me keep having to go back and reread the story. The ending seemed a bit fast-paced. The only part I didn't understand was how you had two people acting as both Anti-Corruption officers and Intelligence officers. Wouldn't ACP sir have made them out even if they were in disguise? The officer distribution was good and so was the investigation.

Originally posted by: debasree04
My Reviews---Please dnt be hurt with my words may be i m wrong...its just my thought at the time of reading

Entry 5
I like your story...It is really good...It is also justified the plot...but sorry I don't like the end...It can be better...If the end is good I will give you 8...👏

Originally posted by: gadhadada

NOW i m with MY REVIEWS... plz DUNT feel HURT/BAD/SAD😊... its only a READER POINT of VIEW... i APPOLOGIZE to ALL!!!😊

STORY FIVE: its SOONALI STORY... cz she used sum SPECIFIC words so GUESSING easily... STORY started with GOOD👍🏼 pace but at the MIDDLE... LOST the FOCUS😭... especially the inclusion of M1 n M2 did not BOOST the PACE and THRILLING... the use of BHAI BD at that moment was NOT GOOD cz still he did not get the CULPRIT and also bit SUSPECIOUS abt the CASE... but i admitted that FINGERPRINT and LEFTY POINT was FABULOUS👍🏼... its SO ORIGINAL👍🏼... ABHI Sir treatment to SAVE BHAI at that minute was also GOOD😊... all and all due to her HEALTH condition... jao LARKI TUM ko MAAF kiya😉!!!! GOOD EFFORT!!!👏

Edited by Soonaali - 13 years ago

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Soonaali

@Soonaali

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#132

About Spelling Mistake I am so Much sorry as its completely my ignorance. And I want APPOLISE to all readers about the same.😔

Regarding this I just want to say that The Intelligence officer first show the wrong identity card as anti corruption officers... ACP sir could not make out😕. I think Its not a practical think that ACP sir knows each and every officer working in all departments in INDIA. so we can assume that they show an I-CARD and ACP accompanied them to clarify their doubts.

Hey All first Thanks a lot for reviewing my story... and giving me the opportunity to improve my self...😊

Ya i know this time my story was lengthy and some points there are loop wholes... as I write story in two parts and there is around a 2 weeks gap in between...

🤢

No reasons no explanations JUST A PROMISS that it will NOT REPEAT... 😊

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Deepika

@ADreamyDeepz28

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#133

Yaaah I think I know my mistakes. Thank for pointing out and helping me out with what I should have more in the story... Surely next time If I participate in the story contest Iam going to make sure to create a suspense for sure...Otherwise I won't participate in it...

Edited by DreamyDeepz28 - 13 years ago

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Evil Dramebaaz

@Minionite

Channel Moderator

+ 43

Team Silver Trio

Posted: 13 years ago

#134

Originally posted by: gadhadada

STORY SEVEN: so SHREYA in my way... GOOD yaar👍🏼... but SHREYA i have sum POINTS on UR STORY... first U buildup ABDUL REHMAN character in a THRILLING way👍🏼... the BUs HIJACK... then to CONTACT CID for completing the TASK!! but WHY BHAI😕???!!! then the FIRST CLUE of that TWO PAPER exchanging was CLASSY👍🏼... but after that U did not
HANDLE the AR character in that PACE... i dunt think in today's era any TERRORIST who had BASIC TRAINING did such SILLY MISTAKE??!!! he did not checked BHAI before he entered in BUS, stepped out from it... at GOONS as well... BHAI easily used that BUG on BUS but AR did not once think abt to attach any kind of BUG aur using sum EYE CATCHER to check HIM😲??!!! that WIRE!!! also CONFUSING if U used sum DIALOGUES inside Bearue abt that WIRE like...
ACP Sir told FREDDIE or anyone to wat is that!! REPAIRED it etc... then its quite easy to connect that WIRE in our MINDS!!! and a HUMBLE REQUEST plz SHERYA use CHARACTER FIRST and then DIALOGUE... sumtimes its quite DIFFICULT to UNDERSTAND😊...!! but a NICE TRY!!!👏

Thanks for your reviews. Will keep in mind to write name after dialogues to keep it from being so confusing.

I was just re-reading my story and I see that I forgot to send Neeme the edited version. Actually the reason AR selected Daya sir was because many years ago, Daya sir and a team of police officers had arrested AR's brother and then when he tried to run, Daya sir had to shoot him to stop him. After sending Neeme the first version I had added that and forgot to send it to her. 😆

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Bhavanab

@Bhavanab

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#135

I finished reading the stories yesterday !!!! The winners ... its not tough guessing you stories :P ... I guess you all before knowing which were yours ..
Vis .. aap ka bhi guess karna wasn't tough !! Asto .. iss baar thoda mushkil hua but managed to guess yours ..

Soonali ka I can guess with style of writing leaving out Deba ... toh I guessed hers too 😆 ...

I would've loved to write detailed reviews if I had my laptop with me ..
I can just say excellent work everyone ... one theme being interpreted in so many ways .. it's nice to read that ... some were simple ... some had a hatke theme ... nice job !!
GD .. I'm very happy to see you as a winner .. though yes on an occasion like Daya sir's B'day ... I wouldn't prefer seeing saomething like what you wrote about Abhijeet .. being unable to breathe .. face turning blue etc. Etc. ... though if the theme was cid officer in danger ... then I would've given your story superb marks .. had I sent my rating (bow that doesn't mean I would've given it less now) !!

@Vis ... iit was great to imagine Daya sir in Kazipet ... bhagwaan kare iss baar main train se aaun Hyd .. and I end up meeting him in the train 😆

Coming to my story ... hehe I know it was filmy ... I know it was usual stuff and all ... still I enjoyed writing it .. patha nahi why .. but I had a smile while writing it !! But yes I agree it lacked on the point of investigation ... but theek hai chalta hai :P ...will work on that the next time though !!

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#136

Originally posted by: Bhavanab

GD .. I'm very happy to see you as a winner .. though yes on an occasion like Daya sir's B'day ... I wouldn't prefer seeing saomething like what you wrote about Abhijeet .. being unable to breathe .. face turning blue etc. Etc. ... though if the theme was cid officer in danger ... then I would've given your story superb marks .. had I sent my rating (bow that doesn't mean I would've given it less now) !!

OML!!!! i m SO HONORED DII!!!😳😳😳

buht buht SHUKRIYA😃😃... n i think i m exceeding to CLOUD 10 now...😉😆

tons of THANKS...😳😃

jus think kay agar main BHAI ki jagah hota tou kiya karta... n my BRAIN geared up like QUILLAS!!!😉😆