*~ OS: Sand Castles ~* - Page 6

Created

Last reply

Replies

54

Views

7.7k

Users

23

Likes

129

Frequent Posters

iheartChai thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 13 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: newt2007

Grace and Preeti thanks for this wonderful SS.๐Ÿค—

Wow most of the crazy girls are inside this stroy. Lucky they got to be close with Prem and Heer as a family or friends.๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ new thought.๐Ÿ‘

Stroy track is very nice. The anger and how they thinks about their fight. their sibblings and friends effort to break the barrier. Finally united forgetting everything. Small kid steal the show.

Lovely stroy. Loved every line of it.

Hope to read more like this.



Thanks Selvy. We really appreciate that you took the time to comment.

You enjoyed our craziness? ๐Ÿ˜† Thanks so much.


Edited by iheartChai - 13 years ago
iheartChai thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 13 years ago
#52

Originally posted by: AASUS

So sweet Grace & Preeti ๐Ÿค—


My favourite is all the helpers who are fellow members in the forum ๐Ÿ˜† This is really cute. Thanks all who sportively took part in the OS ๐Ÿ˜ƒ You'll ROCK โญ๏ธ

Dialogues had lot of comic reliefs and it was awesome ! I loved all the characters!!

Grace:
Intro was fab and I loved Preet's reaction to Prem's mood. He was funny & concerned at the same time -typical Preet ๐Ÿ˜†

Grace is Preet's helper awwe ๐Ÿ˜Ž Loved the part about Sophie being in the mall haha. It seemed real.

Abby is such a caring sis to Preet & Prem and she's also very smart carrying out the plan secretly ๐Ÿ˜† I was like WOW ! It was so cute Preet stealing cofee - I could just imagine that scene ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

Heer's thoughts were v. serious at the beginning Awwe Nabz is Heer's cute little sis ๐Ÿ˜› So cute & helpful.

I liked how each character was described from the way each one of them dressed to how they talked etc, it was so interesting and easy to picture the scene๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

Preeti WOW 328i white BMW convertible ๐Ÿ˜ฒ Prada sunglasses ๐Ÿ˜ฒ lucky you - cool gifts from dad- This entry is like bit filmy at the same time too cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž As if this isn't it enough you're Prem's best friend ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I thought this was cute
""Where is your other half?" Preeti suspiciously inquired.

"Preet?" He's out," Prem replied."

But it was so amazing to find Preeti is so devilish hehe

It's so funny to realise how useful cell phones are ๐Ÿ˜† Half the planning & discussion were done through texting ๐Ÿ˜†

Hmm beach trip was nice - lot of tension though.


I can't help notice that Sophie is such a cool cat. This was her best line๐Ÿ˜†

"So when are we going?" Sophie inquired.

"Why? You have something going on?" Preet asked as he waited for his little sister to pick up her cell phone.

"You think we have time to swing by the mall and buy a swimsuit?" Sophie hesitantly asked.


Oooh Uswah ๐Ÿ˜ฒ the spicy hot tempered girl and Fatima cool calm and collected at all times ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

They are the best pair ๐Ÿ˜† Krish is really cute and loved all his adorable actions ๐Ÿ˜› Lisa is such a caring and loving sis ๐Ÿค—

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Preeti:

It was great how Preet was convincing Prem so he can meet Heer ๐Ÿ˜›

This was really cool bit ๐Ÿ˜† Preet sure has high expectation of himself ๐Ÿ˜†

"One day I'm going to be a professional gamer," Preet explained. "I need to get really good. Then I can just get hired by one of those software companies and play games all day and make good money. I can tell them what works and doesn't work. See, I am planning my future."


This was funny too - I guess it's the way Preet is talking made us laugh on a serious scene.

You know I notice how couples get all moody when one of them is away...doesn't matter if they are happy or just had a fight." Prem scowled at his brother for the last remark. Preet just flashed a quick smile in response.


I liked the whole paragraph of Preet convincing Prem -really well written ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

Lisa is amazing too. It was nice of her to go along with Nabz & co's beach plan ๐Ÿ˜›


convo betw Uswah, Fatima, Nabz and Lisa about life guards etc was too hilarious - great job writing out those dialogues ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

After that I could just imagine Prem being chased and frying pan too ๐Ÿ˜† This was too funny๐Ÿ˜†

Krish & Heer masi scenes were very cute ๐Ÿ˜› I'm glad you described this in detail!

wow Nabz loves her phone & texting really ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜† Lisa whining about this, is very natural - usually older siblings do that.

I love the Juneja camp vs Maan camp idea๐Ÿ˜† I couldn't just pick one - dialogues were great! Every time the fight builds up the tension rises then we have the sigh of relief only to find another one brewing ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜† I was like when are PH going to be back together ๐Ÿค”

Finally the sand castle competition - was really silly for two adults to fight over a bucket - but I know even in real life ppl will fight over the most silliest things we could imagine. Great job writing out this part ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

It was funny how Heer was getting hurt all the time - I mean the accidents seem to only happen to her ๐Ÿ˜’ It's nice to see Prem's caring nature shows concern for her every time. It's kind of interesting. As if these weren't enough even a guy is after her trying to get attention but almost harassing her ๐Ÿ˜ก I was like - go away dude ๐Ÿ˜†

I loved the ending ๐Ÿ˜›and also loved how Preet came to get PH back to the restaurant ๐Ÿ˜†

Thanks to all the members who took part in the story. Really awesome ๐Ÿฅณ







Thanks Athi for the taking the time to comment. The OS was written half and half by me and Preeti and didn't really go by who posted up the OS Parts actually. But I'm so glad you enjoyed what you read. Preeti had some great ideas and she is a great writer ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Thanks for finding the Crazy CC Girls enjoyable in the story. Was afraid people would get annoyed with us since this OS was suppose to be about Premeer ๐Ÿ˜†



iheartChai thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 13 years ago
#53

Originally posted by: Aymee

My dearest Preeti and Grace,

This was a wonderful OS you both came up with and I really enjoyed it very much.

I am very sorry for not being able to comment earlier. With my parents' visit, my kids and other (unfortunate) things that came up in between, my time got tied up. I know my apology is not enough but I am grateful to you both for your patience.

I am very touched and honored you two have included me in your OS. I was very surprised and happy. Thank you very much. ๐Ÿค— ๐Ÿค— to you both.

Now let me comment on OS

Preet's comment about women and why everyone was such in a negative mood was funny. Abby being Prem and Preet's sister had me laughing. I realized right away why she would come after you guys with her pans.

Love the description of Grace and Sophie. It was perfect.

My jaws dropped when I read Preeti's description. I was able to picture Preeti clearly. Like we see in the movies, we won't see the person's face only after some time and that is how I saw it.

I couldn't stop laughing about Preeti and Prem's reaction when Sophie and Preeti were talking about their handbag and purse to them. Men, I wish they understood why purses and handbags are important to us.

I couldn't believe Preeti never liked Heer. While I was reading the story, I was hoping she wouldn't interfere with everyone's plans to reunite Prem and Heer.

It was very exciting to see Grace, Sophie and Preet working together to come up with a plan to reunite Prem and Heer. I loved how Grace got teased about the lifeguard she likes. It was funny. Sophie's shopping addiction was hilarious. She did some shopping less than couple of hours ago and she was already thinking about doing more shopping. Very well written.

Uswah and Fatima's concern for Heer was really sweet. Uswah's protectiveness for Heer is understandable but I never knew how protective she was until I read what was coming up.

Abby, Grace and Preet shouting their love for Sophie not only surprised her but me also. I felt bad for Sophie because she was worried if she said something wrong and was going to be teased about again.

Preeti keeping an eye on Grace, Sophie and Abby was concerning. I was afraid she was going to ruin everyone's plan. I couldn't stop laughing when I read that she was a lot nicer when her boyfriend was around.

Grace's idea to distract Preeti was excellent. I was really happy everyone got to continue with their plan without worrying about Preeti. Preet and Prem conversation was funny but when Preet started talking on the phone and loud enough for Prem to hear, I couldn't stop laughing. Preet telling his "friend" how Prem was fine with Heer flirting with half naked men and later him telling Prem indirectly how some couple becomes moody when their partner is away was hilarious. Prem's jealousy and suddenly changing his mind to join him at the beach was perfect. It was funny when Preet was leaving Prem's room, he noticed his brother flexing his muscles. You know I would have loved to see Prem doing the same thing on the show. What an awesome scene that would have been.

I loved how Uswah and Nabz were teasing Fatima about the cute guy. Uswah's reaction to the cute guy's friend when he took off his shirt was too funny. I couldn't agree more with the ladies about hairy chest men, it is just simply unattractive about a man. Sadly, I know some women who find men with hair chest sexy. Yuck is all I can say.

Uswah comment about asking the guy about how hairy his chest is was funny. That would be one bold question to a guy. Can you imagine Uswah telling her parents she doesn't like the guy because he is too hairy?

Another thing about Uswah that made me laugh was when Nabz commented about Uswah chasing Prem around the house with a pan. Also, later on, when Prem sees Uswah, he remembers what happened. Those scenes really made me laugh. I really loved those two parts.

Prem and Heer bumping into each other while Heer was searching for Nabz was unexpected but it worked for everyone that trying to come up with a plan to get them to see each other. I loved it when Prem said that whoever injured Heer will be their last day on this Earth. Even after their fight, Prem was still worried and caring for his Heer.

It was a shame everything downhill when Prem and Heer started arguing again. I am not blaming Uswah because like I have mentioned before, her protectiveness for her friend was understandable. It was very clear that Prem and Heer had some lack of communication and understanding with each other that wasn't addressed earlier or sorted out after their first fight. I was glad to see Krish and Prem have a very good relationship with each other and Prem's heart softened up when he was looking after Krish.

Prem coming to Heer's defense when that creepy guy was hitting on her was very good scene. I am glad Heer was able to defend herself on her own and Prem's timing was perfect. I was happy that creep finally got the message loud and clear and left them alone.

Poor Krish getting innocently involved with Prem and Heer's competition with each other about who can build the best sand castle. It was good both teams had enough people to help and I was glad it came down to a tie but it was funny how Prem and Heer were not ready to surrender.

When Prem accidently got sand on Heer's eyes, this line had me laughing:

"Ehhh...shhh...it hurts..." Heer whined as she tried opening her eyes.

I don't have say anything further that because it was perfectly written line and I loved it.

By the end of the story, I was glad Prem and Heer made up and Preeti's boyfriend was coming back to town.

Excellent OS my dearest Preeti and Grace. I would love to know how you two came up with a wonderful idea. This was a very different story. Both of you did a great job to include everyone from the CC in this story along with Prem and Heer. It was perfect OS.

Thank you again for including me in this story. I have to admit you both got the ponytail part right. I always have my hair in a ponytail no matter where I go. I was happy to see I have a son in this story. That was very sweet.

Thank you both for your PM. This is why I have asked earlier for all of our KDM forum fic writers to get together to write a script. You guys come up with great ideas.

Thank you for taking the time to write this OS and share it with us. ๐Ÿ‘ โญ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ



Don't apologize about the late comment. As you can see I'm posting back a late reply to your comment ๐Ÿ˜†. Thanks Lisa for taking the time to comment. I understand how busy you've been...in fact I along with lots of other people on the forums these days have been extremely busy with things.

Credit to this idea of doing a joint OS is Preeti. She's the one who decided to write one and have it about a fight. She's a great creative writer to work with. Preeti wrote my and Sophie's intro. I wrote Preeti's intro...very Bollywood style ๐Ÿ˜†...she said she wanted a BMW so I gave her a BMW ๐Ÿ˜† and all the Daddy's girl type stuff she wanted for her character.

The credit about the hairy chest and question lines have to be given to my friend. She is always saying that is what she's going to do when her parent set her up on one of those arrange marriage meetings ๐Ÿคฃ

You weren't kidding with your long reply. Thanks so much for doing that. I have to admit the OS got super long. No thanks to me as I have the tendency to be extremely wordy.

Maybe one day Preeti and I will do another OS or something. We will see.

biyaahmad thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#54
Hi Preeti and Grace
sorry fr late commenting.holding ears
i was so busy with addmition things and more of that vry tensed because my mama's health was not good.but thankfully she is better now.
update was very beautifull.abby is prem,preet's sis.hmmm
and preeti omg preet describe her like she is the vamp of the stry.๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜†
sophie is so crazy about shoping and grace is really helping freind of preet.
uswah and fatima is very nice friends of heer and thier concern fr heer is vry sweet.๐Ÿ˜Š
their plan was awsum.and preet indirectly tod prem about the guy stuff was so funny๐Ÿ˜† and prem's jelousy.aaahh
premeer meeting and scenes was so nice.
preeti's boyfriend is back now and she is also happy .that's good.
over all this is extremely beautifull os.great job.
sorry fr after such a long time such a short comment and
many,many thanks fr the pm.๐Ÿ˜Š
iheartChai thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 13 years ago
#55

Originally posted by: deshdeewani

Hi Preeti and Grace

sorry fr late commenting.holding ears
i was so busy with addmition things and more of that vry tensed because my mama's health was not good.but thankfully she is better now.
update was very beautifull.abby is prem,preet's sis.hmmm
and preeti omg preet describe her like she is the vamp of the stry.๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜†
sophie is so crazy about shoping and grace is really helping freind of preet.
uswah and fatima is very nice friends of heer and thier concern fr heer is vry sweet.๐Ÿ˜Š
their plan was awsum.and preet indirectly tod prem about the guy stuff was so funny๐Ÿ˜† and prem's jelousy.aaahh
premeer meeting and scenes was so nice.
preeti's boyfriend is back now and she is also happy .that's good.
over all this is extremely beautifull os.great job.
sorry fr after such a long time such a short comment and
many,many thanks fr the pm.๐Ÿ˜Š



I'm glad that your mom's health is a lot better now. That was more important then replying to this OS.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. We really appreciate it. So glad you enjoyed the crazy One Shot ๐Ÿ˜ƒ



Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".