(Maan-Geet OS) Crossed Paths...

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Escapist

@Escapist

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

My first ever attempt at 55 fiction..and somehow it did match with the Maneet condition when Maan wasn't able to recognize Geet and kept on torturing her...this is my attempt to describe Geet's state of mind...though I really dunno how they portrayed in the serial as I stopped watching it since a long time...hope I've done justice!

Crossed Paths...

Untold unexpressed emotions lead her to a dark alley where stark silence lingers and the shadow seems to fade, a confused numb pain takes over her as she tries to elude and sever the past. Knocking every door on her way hoping to see her beloved's face only to realize he's gone too far away.

You can also read it here!

https://duskndawn-fatima.blogspot.com/2011/07/crossed-paths.html

-Fatima

Edited by Escapist - 14 years ago

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Saba

@Eccentric.Being

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

A.o.A Fatima,

It's beautifully written.

It becomes hard to restrict the flow to a specific words length but u have managed it pretty well for ur first attempt.

Thnx 4 PM

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Shaheda

@Newdime

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good.

Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind.

Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.

Excellent piece of work Fatima...

Thank you for the PM and thinking of me to be part of it.

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Limerance

@Limerance

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

Amazing Fatima. This shows that length really doesn't matter. As I was reading I could easily place myself within the atmosphere with such clarity, it was beautiful. It seemed so natural for me to connect with the words and scenario. And it has been a long time since I've actually felt that. For a while I thought that maybe I was losing touch with stories but I guess my sentiments were just waiting for your piece to come along and connect me again.

Thanks for sharing this with me. I'll be waiting for the next one whenever that maybe :)

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Water

@Water.

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: Escapist

Crossed Paths...

Untold unexpressed emotions lead her to a dark alley where stark silence lingers and the shadow seems to fade, a confused numb pain takes over her as she tries to elude and sever the past. Knocking every door on her way hoping to see her beloved's face only to realize he's gone too far away.

Crossed paths...

Passed in the subconscious thousands of times but in reality not crossed at all in the present moment.

So much left unsaid, so much left unexpressed...it is little bit too late...now...

All I can see is darkness which surrounds me from in each and every way..

The dark clouds, the silent night, the forlorn hope

The wish, the desire that mingles in her mind...

Pulling away the blanket that had settled over her eyes...

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Water

@Water.

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Please do not ask me what I wrote in the earlier post, it is 4:10 a.m. here and I m miles away...from being sanely aware at the moment...

Edited by Water. - 14 years ago

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Escapist

@Escapist

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: serenelove
A.o.A Fatima,
It's beautifully written.
It becomes hard to restrict the flow to a specific words length but u have managed it pretty well for ur first attempt.
Thnx 4 PM

Walekum aasalam Saba,

Yes it sure becomes hard esp when its your first attempt but yet I tried and I'm glad it came out well...
Glad that you liked it!

Have a great time ahead!

Cheers,
Fatima

Edited by Escapist - 14 years ago

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Escapist

@Escapist

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: Newdime
Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good.

Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind.

Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.

Excellent piece of work Fatima...

Thank you for the PM and thinking of me to be part of it.

Hey Shaheda,

Good to see you here dear!

Agreed to what ever you've said if we don't take risk we might not make it to the bigger picture and a better view..reckless living does do something good after all !

Truly, when you have a long story you need not worry and let your thoughts flow freely but the moment a restriction comes up you need to rewind everything over and over again search for words that could aptly describe a condition without using extra fillers !

Glad you liked it and commented too...
It feels great when fellow writers and readers read your work too!

Hope to see you in my next fic or one shot whatever it is that I'll pen down!

Have a great time ahead! :)

Cheers,
Fatima

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Escapist

@Escapist

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: Limerance
Amazing Fatima. This shows that length really doesn't matter. As I was reading I could easily place myself within the atmosphere with such clarity, it was beautiful. It seemed so natural for me to connect with the words and scenario. And it has been a long time since I've actually felt that. For a while I thought that maybe I was losing touch with stories but I guess my sentiments were just waiting for your piece to come along and connect me again.

Thanks for sharing this with me. I'll be waiting for the next one whenever that maybe :)

Hola Minal,

Oh good lord it was quite a surprise to see you here but indeed a good one :)

There was a time I felt that maybe length matters but then realization dawned on me that short or long if the intended message is conveyed than all is well and done!
Some how particularly I just can't pen down long stuff or conversations I really suck at it and somewhere wish to over come this barrier maybe with the passage of time!

I'm touched to hear that you could relate to the words and the situation with such clarity.
Personally I believe we can become numb to our feelings altogether but we can't never lose touch with them..its quite contradictory as to what I've said yet that's the way it is...and somehow when we can't connect to things and emotions in real life we tend to do that subconsciously in the reel life and its not bad to lose oneself for a while if its in your benefit isn't it ??

Glad that you liked it and took time out to comment on this piece :)

Have a great time ahead!

Cheers,
Fatima

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Escapist

@Escapist

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Water.

Crossed paths...
Passed in the subconscious thousands of times but in reality not crossed at all in the present moment.
So much left unsaid, so much left unexpressed...it is little bit too late...now...
All I can see is darkness which surrounds me from in each and every way..
The dark clouds, the silent night, the forlorn hope
The wish, the desire that mingles in her mind...
Pulling away the blanket that had settled over her eyes...

Whoa Rachana,

That was wonderful! You've left me speechless seriously tongue tied...

The words used and the condition described is brilliantly done dear :)
You indeed are a wonderful poet!

Glad you liked it and it inspired you to pen down a poem!

Have a great time ahead!

Cheers,
Fatima